Experts Reveal The 3 Rare Personality Traits That Always Make Men Swoon

The physical traits take a back seat to these winners.

man kissing woman's forehead AlessandroBiascioli | Shutterstock

Ask a man to describe the woman of his dreams. What does she look like? Is she tall, short, or somewhere in between? Does she wear her hair long or short? What color are her eyes? 

Hang on a second. Chances are, he won't lead with any of those physical qualities. Sure, depending on which study about how men and women respond to visual erotic stimuli is more fashionable at the time, there is limited evidence that men value what they see ahead of what they experience with their other senses when it comes to romance.


Still, we're talking about that indefinable ... something. The spark that lights the flame. Call it charisma, allure, magnetism ... any other synonyms for romantic appeal you can find on

Yes, men can swoon — and they often do when the right woman walks into their lives. So, what we're after today is a clear definition of that "right woman."

We wanted to know what rare traits women possess that might make a man lose his mind in a good way. We reached out to a panel of YourTango Experts and asked that very question. Here are their responses.

RELATED: Guys Explain What Men Really Want In A Relationship


Experts reveal the three rare personality traits that make men swoon:

1. She's comfortable being herself

Self-confidence. I have data on over 5,000 singles and these days men are very attracted to self-confident women. This is particularly important in the bedroom — more important than the “10” body type, youth, or a beautiful face.

- Dr. Helen Fisher, biological anthropologist, author

RELATED: The Secret Thing Men Want More Than Love (And How To Give It To Them)

2. A variety of admirable qualities

There are a number of rare traits that some women possess that make men swoon. The traits are not so much physical as one might expect. In my years of experience as a clinical psychologist and relationship coach, I have heard rare traits that men say that catch their attention and make them fall in love.


Some of the top rare traits are:

  • She's not easily jealous.
  • She has integrity — she does what she says and says what she means.
  • She approaches life with ambition and a passion for life, for her career, for her hobbies and for her family.
  • She's independent and has her own interests.
  • She knows when to listen and when to talk.
  • She is emotionally intelligent and regulated.
  • She lights up a room.

These are traits that can be developed and learned or for some come naturally. Not only are they admired and respected traits in a relationship, but they are also revered by others in life as well. When a woman has these traits, the foundation of a relationship can be built upon. The level of respect for these traits causes feelings of adoration and hence makes men swoon!

Dr. Susan Pazak, clinical psychologist and life coach

RELATED: 11 Little Things Men Secretly Adore About The Woman They Love


3. The ability to accept him completely, flaws and all

Most women believe it is their energy, looks, intelligence, adventurousness, or playfulness that captures a man leaving him incapable of thinking about anyone else other than her. Those certainly contribute, but there is one trait that trumps all others.

A woman who can fully listen to a man without judgment, conclusion, or projection, and who can reflect back to him the person they witness so that he feels truly seen and heard demonstrates instantly that he is with a woman he can be, explore, and expand with, even in his imperfections. Swoon is an understatement!

Larry Michel, founder of the Institute of Genetic Energetics


RELATED: The Top 12 Qualities Men Want In A Woman To Marry

Carter Gaddis is the senior editor for Experts and Wellness with YourTango.