You’ll Know A Man Is Genuinely In Love When He Starts Doing These 10 Tender Things
Genuine love shows up in the quiet, thoughtful ways a man treats you.
mimagephotography | Canva He loves you, he loves you not. Love is about much more than saying 'I love you,' and whether you and your love interest haven't uttered the words yet, you might be wondering how to tell if he truly loves you. Chances are, you've probably already googled the telltale signs or asked a trusted friend.
And if your friend is like most people, they probably responded with 'you just know,' or 'it's hard to describe '— all of which, needless to say, are pretty unhelpful. If you suspect your new boyfriend has fallen head-over-heels for you, look for these sweet signs first.
You’ll know a man is genuinely in love when he starts doing these tender things:
1. He treats you with respect
When a man is in love with a woman, he respects her. He cares about the details of her life. He treats her well.
If your guy values your opinions, compliments your character, celebrates your accomplishments, pays attention to details, and even accommodates your quirky habits — he stocks the fridge with Diet Coke even though he can’t stand the stuff, for example — you’ve got a keeper who’s falling fast and hard for you.
2. He keeps you top of mind
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Does he send you funny texts during the day? Do songs, signs, and hilarious headlines remind him of you?
Does he Google last night’s unresolved debate — “Which is healthier: ice cream or gelato?” — when he’s at work? When you become a very present part of his day, even when you’re apart, he’s invested in the relationship.
Consistent thinking about someone, to the point of them dominating your thoughts, can strongly indicate falling in love. 2022 research explained that this is often associated with releasing certain hormones and chemicals in the brain and is a common experience when experiencing new romantic feelings.
3. He compromises
Love can soften the heart. Being right isn’t as important as doing right by the other person.
When your beau starts to meet you in the middle on topics he’s typically stubborn about — maybe he’s a movie snob suddenly willing to let you pick a flick he’d otherwise never watch — he’s leading with his heart instead of his head. Signs of selflessness are huge indicators that he’s in love.
4. He's affectionate with you in public
When your man puts his arm around you in public, he’s both proudly announcing to the world that you’re together and making a protective gesture. Another love gesture: when he starts offering the hugs and cuddles you crave, with no expectation of intimacy. He wants to serve you with physical touch, not use it just to get what he wants.
While no definitive research explicitly links a man's initiation of public displays of affection as a sole indicator of falling in love, it can be a sign of early-stage relationship excitement and emotional connection. One study explained that PDA can also signal a secure relationship and provide validation for both individuals. However, it's important to remember that PDA can have multiple interpretations and isn't always a reliable measure of love.
5. He wants to take care of you
Women often roll their eyes at men’s “fix it” instincts, and while he may not be able to fix every bad day, the fact that he tries only points to the fact that he deeply cares about you. He wants to make things better. He wants to provide for you, practically and emotionally.
He wants to make you smile. When he puts in the effort to comfort and reassure you, he’s saying “I love you” in both word and deed.
6. He wants you to meet his family
Does he want you to meet everyone important to him? When he’s ready to introduce you to people who matter most — and is equally eager to meet your friends and family — he has no intentions of going anywhere. He’s proud to be with you and wants his family to fall in love with you, too.
A man's desire for his partner to love his family as a sole indicator of falling in love is often considered a positive sign, particularly in a deepening relationship. A 2023 study suggested that he views the relationship as serious and is considering the possibility of a future with you, as he values your relationship with his family as a key part of that future.
7. He’s not afraid to argue ... or apologize
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Sometimes it takes a fight or two to understand just how strong a relationship is. A man in love isn’t afraid of conflict — or apologies. Instead, he fights fair, respects you when things get rocky, listens to your perspective, hates to see you upset, and wants to resolve things well.
“Love means never having to say you’re sorry” is the most inaccurate movie tagline ever. (Sorry, Love Story.) Love means dropping the pride, admitting when you’re wrong, and never being afraid to say you’re sorry.
8. He uses 'we' instead of 'I'
Listen to his word choices. When he starts using words like “we,” “us,” and “Team Awesome,” each guy will have his way to describe the unit you’ve become — he’s not thinking of himself as a single man anymore. You’re now part of his life. And he loves that.
Research has found that this shift in language, particularly in romantic relationships, can indicate a developing sense of closeness and shared identity. It suggests a change in perspective from individual experiences to a shared understanding and a growing sense of us.
9. He talks about the future with you in it
Does he make plans for the future that include you? Did he invite you to his buddy’s wedding next fall? Does he joke about your future children together? When he’s got a future with you on his mind, he’s already decided that he has no intentions of letting you go.
10. He says so
If he says he loves you, believe him, especially if all the above points hold true simultaneously. A man in love can’t keep it to himself for long.
Expressing feelings, especially when they feel vulnerable or uncomfortable, can significantly show deepening affection and commitment. Research by The Centre for Male Psychology explained that the ability to share emotions openly is often associated with a stronger emotional connection and the willingness to prioritize the other person's needs.
eHarmony believes you deserve to find true love that comes with a lasting relationship. Because of this, eHarmony is committed to assisting singles everywhere in their search to find love and romantic fulfillment.
