Dating Coach Reveals How To Text A Guy (Without Turning Him Off Completely)

Set the tone for him to find out more about you.

Woman texting a guy, guy reading her text smiling-interested photology2000, Hrecheniuk Oleksii | Canva

When you meet a guy you like, either online or offline, you want to start a conversation in a way that will get him to like you and want to give you his attention. It can get confusing, however, when you're wondering how to text a guy without coming off as trying too hard, making yourself seem like a needy or clingy girlfriend type, and completely turning him off.

You can use texts as a powerful way to make him want you, but there are some helpful communication tips you should keep in mind when dealing with most men.


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Here's how to text a guy without turning him off completely:

1. Keep it short and sweet

I can’t emphasize this one enough. Guys don’t like long-winded texts that ask them a bunch of questions. They’re often busy at work or some other aspect of their life. Many men prefer to be single-focused. If your text isn't short and sweet, they might consider you distracting or annoying and be turned off. Fortunately, there's a simple remedy to this.

Keep it short, keep it sweet, and keep it upbeat with exclamation points and emojis. Try using feeling-centered vocabulary such as, "Sounds good!", "Sounds great!", "Can't wait! (winky face)", etc.


She knows how to text a guy without turning him off Pixel-Shot via Shutterstock

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2. Limit initial conversations to logistics

Although you might think that asking him questions about his favorite kind of music, what he’s doing on the weekend, or his favorite football team is a good way to start a conversation, I suggest you save those topics for when you meet in person.


In the beginning stages of dating, limit your texting with him primarily to logistics like deciding the details of when, where, and how to meet. When a man sees you face to face, you'll have a different kind of conversation than you would over text. Don’t waste too much time trying to build a connection with him over text.

Guy gets a text the doesn't turn him off Oleksii Didok via Shutterstock

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3. Use emojis

A lot of men love getting emojis from women! The visual aspect gets them out of their heads, and how you use them can make you distracted in a good way. The more left unsaid the better. The more he can imagine, the more he’s going to want to text you back and have a date with you.

Remember, the goal isn't for you to be a texting expert. The goal is to inspire a man to want to see you. Emojis make you somewhat mysterious, and when left to his imagination, he will begin painting you in an exciting light — one that makes him want to see you.

Short and sweet drives men to make plans with you. You want his attention focused on when can see you. If you start becoming his texting buddy, he will only text you when bored.


Remember to stick to directions and details. As much as you can, keep your texts limited to how, when, and where you'll see each other, and use short, upbeat phrases. Emojis are your friend! Use them, but don’t go overboard. They give you a playful and inviting impression that sets a tone for him to plan a date to find out more about you.

Most importantly, once you know how to text a guy without turning him off, you will be on your way to having a great relationship!

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James Allen Hanrahan is a dating and relationship coach for women based in Los Angeles. He's also the author of "A Life of Love" and "Dating Advice for Alpha Women."