What The Texts & Emojis You Send Reveal About Your True Personality
The answers are right there in front of your eyes.
getty You can learn a lot about the men and women you meet using online dating sites and apps — such as Bumble, Tinder, OKCupid and Hinge — if you know what to look for in their dating profiles.
And you can discover even more about someone's personality traits when you know how to decode the DMs and texts they send you after you've swiped right on each other, as well as the meaning of their favorite emojis and the way they most frequently choose to use them.
Drawing inspiration from Swiss psychiatrist and psychoanalyst Carl Jung, daughter and mother duo Isabel Myers and Katherine Briggs, astute observers of personality types, developed what is now known as the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator® (MBTI®) as a way to help make the theory behind personality "understandable and useful in people's lives."
The sixteen Myers-Briggs personality types are assembled into 4 letters each — and they represent dichotomies, or pairs, of different personality traits:
- E/I: Extroversion/Introversion reveals how people get their energy.
- S/N: Sensing/Intuition indicates how people take in information.
- T/F: Thinking/Feeling are based on how people take in information to make their decisions.
- J/P: Judging/Perceiving is how quickly or not people make decisions.
For those of you who want to get a better sense of who this person is that you're texting and whether or not they might be your perfect match, you can examine their texts using this Myers-Briggs personality type cheat sheet we've created.
Here are the 16 personalities that make up the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator® (MBTI®) inventory, and how to recognize each by the texts or DMs they send on dating apps like Tinder and Bumble.
1. ISTJ
This Myers-Briggs personality type probably would not have entered the world of online dating apps quickly — and not without considerable thought and research.
Once on though, an ISTJ will follow all digital dating protocol and will text you to uncover if they think your values around loyalty and traditions align, before going to the next step to meet.
Their text messages will be prompt and well-structured in style.
Use of emojis: When they do suggest to meet, they will have already planned a place, the time, and the activity and use very few, if any, emojis.
2. ISFJ
ISFJs take pride in their work and home life. If you’re texting with an ISFJ personality type for the first time, you will get a quick response that highlights or refers to something you said in your previous text.
These "piggyback" responses tell you that your texter really takes in what you are saying, and would suggest that they will be excellent "active listeners" going forward.
hey are also proficient in their writing, as evidenced by their lack of typos or auto-corrections in the texst you receive, because people with these personality traits will double (and triple!) check their texts before hitting 'send.'
Use of emojis:They will use a controlled number of emojis and definitely no more than two in an entire text thread.
3. INFJ
The INFJ is like the inside of a warm, fuzzy slipper. In fact, the INFJ personality type you're texting probably owns several pairs. Their dating app texts include things they want to learn about you, what makes you happy, and what inspires you.
They will get you texting about yourself, your goals and what motivates you, without you realizing that you’ve been texting about yourself for the past few minutes.
If you receive more texts with questions than comments from the INFJ, don't worry — that's how they are wired.
Use of emojis:The INFJ will jump on commonalities between the two of you and throw in an emoji when you’ve hit on a common connection.
4. INTJ
An INTJ is not going to play games. If you have ANY drama in your past, the INTJ will have little tolerance for it (so do NOT bring it up).
When texting with an INTJ, your responses should have no more than 6 words per sentence, as do the INTJ’s. Proper punctuation will be used.
If your primary love language is words of affirmation, swipe left.
Use of emojis: Their texts will be direct and efficient, without an emoji in sight.
5. ISTP
If your ISTP has decided to try online dating apps, they have determined that they have a need to fix a dating problem. Unlike the INTJ, the ISTP will not mind engaging in your drama, as they like to problem-solve.
Texts from an ISTP can be quite exciting if you hit on a subject area in which they have a great deal of knowledge. You can check it out by sharing a challenge you have and asking the ISTP to brainstorm it with you.
A hitch might occur if you and the ISTP are texting and discover you have different solutions for the problem. The ISTP may ghost you if you choose to resolve your issue your way, when in the ISTP mind, their way was far more efficient.
Use of emojis: They rarely use emojis, unless the ISTP is poking fun at those who do.
6. ISFP
If the ISFP is on Tinder or Bumble, they probably joined dating apps with some hesitance. Their texts may be carefully worded, without saying too much about themselves. You may have to nudge them to share, although if anything is texted that suggests conflict, the ISFP may retreat.
The ISFP will talk about the here and now, although they will take some time to respond to your texts if something else is occupying their attention.
If you share some meaningful insight, give the ISFP several hours to respond to what you’ve said, as they will give great consideration to what you’ve texted. In fact, right after receiving your text, you may see typing text bubbles come and go, yet receive no response for another two hours.
Use of emojis: Tuned into what you’ve texted, the ISFP will use the playful emojis to underscore their message.
7. INFP
The INFP will reveal their personality traits and preferences through textual threads that are lengthy and chock-full of meaningful observation. Their core values are the underpinnings of all of their texts, and inspired texts will come to you in bursts of wonderful insight.
The drawback here is, if you have good momentum going, and the INFP’s introspection burst has run its course, you might not hear from them for several hours or even a day.
Do not take it personally, as the INFP's circadian Myers-Briggs rhythm is an ebb of flow of sensitivity and introspection.
Use of emojis: They may text the sad emoji when they get back to you later than they should have.
8. INTP
In a text with an INTP, you will never read a text that says, "In other words…" They dislike redundancy and take pride in precise textual communication. Get to the point, if you want to engage the INTP.
Do not count on an INTP to make a social plan with you. As frustrating as it might be, the INTP may challenge your suggestion for your first meet-up — that’s just their Myers-Briggs preference.
The INTP is curious, so if their texts are composed mostly of thought-provoking, abstract questions about Gestalt theory, and you have no idea what that means, you might want to swipe left.
Use of emojis: Only the thinking emoji, if any.
9. ESTP
An ESTP’s texts will be fun-loving, anti-conforming, and often spur-of-the-moment: "Hey I know we just connected here. Let’s swap cell phone numbers, and then maybe meet up at this cool new place downtown near the water!" The ESTP sees online protocol as kind of irrelevant.
If you find that you have a "J” in your Myers-Briggs personality type and you want a clear plan, a tendency to follow Tinder or Bumble dating rules, and desire an exact date and time to meet, you might have to tap into some spontaneity if you’re interested in an ESTP.
Use of emojis: Smiley emojis all around!
10. ESFP
This texter will jump into texting with happy fingers, without much pre-conceived thought. With emojis in every text, the ESFP will disregard the double-texting protocol, and instead send three or four texts in a row.
They love to live in the moment and share exactly how they feel in that given time.
Don’t be surprised if an ESFP texts you after three texts for a hookup, as they are your primary go-to personality type for immediate gratification of sensual desires. That being said, they may even come to believe the one hookup you shared has turned into a relationship, and their texts will convey love and plenty of "OMG’s" of how perfect you are together.
Use of emojis: Conversely, an ESFP's texts may drop off or they offer a polite, no-emoji, "I have a family thing I need to attend," which is your cue, that they have already moved on. Basically, you've been ghosted
11. ENFP
If you are texting with an ENFP, they are already into you and excited about the possibility of you before they send their first text. Their exuberant texts may launch forward to hurry to get together before either of you have a sense of what the other is like.
Their texts may include a variety of really attractive activities for you to do, but getting the ENFP to follow through on these exciting possibilities is another story.
They may text that you’re going to this great new club, and even though you know where it is, they will obsess over the right way to get there, and which entrance to go in.
And then, at the last minute, they'll ask you to meet them at a friend’s house — and the previous 13 directional texts about the entrance to the club, what to say to Jake the bouncer, and where you’ll grab the best Sausage pizza with truffle mushrooms that are imported from Italy at Leonardo’s after — become obsolete.
If you like a happy-go-lucky-person, the ENFP is yours for the taking. Swipe right.
Use of emojis: Just when you’re feeling tossed around like the spin cycle in your washing machine, your phone dings with their text that reads, "It’s all good" followed by a happy face emoji.
12. ENTP
Your first text from an ENTP might seem abrupt: "This is the 23rd time I’ve reached out to someone on Tinder. Hopefully, you’ll be better than the last 22."
An ENTP's texts will be direct. They will ask you questions and analyze your answers in a few seconds. If you use ambiguous words in your return texts, an ENTP will zoom in on them.
Like a suitcase returning from a two-week vacation, words like probably, maybe, usually, or sometimes will be systematically unpacked for every possible meaning. Texting foreplay for the ENTP will include "what-if" possibilities that have a logical and stimulating outcome.
A word of caution if you have a "J" in your Myers-Briggs preference: The ENTP enjoys conceptualizing ideas over text more than an implementation of plans.
Use of emojis: Emoji use is limited, and may even be questioned if you decide to throw one in.
13. ESTJ
This type's preference will stick to Tinder and Bumble protocol to the letter. Not coloring outside the lines, the ESTJ will text you right back; will use proper punctuation and ,if they know about the assumed double-text rule, they will follow it, while waiting — albeit with impatience — for your response.
Their texts will be results-oriented: "I’d like for us to meet at this ______ place. I will leave after 5 minutes if you’re not there at 8."
If you have a preference for "FP" Myers-Briggs personality traits, you’ll need to ramp up your "TJ" to meet the needs of this person. Text back in their exact language and assume the mindset that, if you arrive on time, you’re late.
Use of emojis: While not a warm and fuzzy texter, an ENTP’s texts will reveal exactly what they desire and will rarely use emojis. There is something to be said for candor, with a large scoop of confidence!
14. ESFJ
The ESFJ hums the "Celebration" song when they are texting you. As people-pleasers, they will text promptly — and their texts will be all about you.
You will feel as though you are texting with a high-end event planner that is merely there to meet your desires. They will text you questions or comments that are layered in empathy: "Based on your last text, I know three places downtown that you might enjoy."
If you don’t answer right away, they will double down their efforts to please you.
Super sensitive, they have thought through all of the possible reasons you have not texted back right away: “Maybe I overstepped;" "They don’t want to spend money. I can offer to pay or split costs;" "They are not into me. Maybe they are texting with someone else instead.”
And based on this limited information, the ESFJ will text back a response that covers as many of these doubts as possible: “If you want to meet at a park instead, I am completely happy to do that.”
Observe their texts to understand that the ESFJ is like your personal genie in a bottle; they will accommodate your every need.
Use of emojis: The ESFJ LOVES emojis and will use them precisely, as they are meant to be texted. You will never receive a happy-face emoji when a hair flip emoji — customized with their exact hair color — can be texted instead.
15. ENFJ
This personality type will figuratively read between the lines in your text messages. They will immediately comment and compliment your profile and want to learn more about you, all the while circling in their mind — and heart — for a connection with you.
An ENFJ understands nuance and exactly what you’re not saying — even in text messaging. They observe the time you took to respond. They watch the text bubbles as you’re typing and will gauge the time you took to type or re-type to get a feel for what you’re like.
They will almost always leapfrog on your last text to bring the focus back to you and your needs.
Sometimes, eerily, they have an intuition as to what you’d like, even before you do. The trustworthy ENFJ's text will immediately make you feel comfortable, and you might even find yourself sharing things that you haven’t even told your bestie.
Use of emojis: An ENFJ text includes plenty of emojis and exclamation points.
16. ENTJ
If you are texting with an ENTJ, know that they want to meet as quickly as possible. They already have a game plan for where to go. Their texts are to the point: "Let’s meet at Harry’s Pub at 8 PM, this coming Saturday."
No fluff and with periods only after each sentence, the ENTJ is the ultimate planner and may not text again (unless you initiate it) until you meet on Saturday.
Only if there is a clear and logical reason to text again will the ENTJ reach out to you. For example, an ENTJ will call ahead and find out that it’s Sports Night at the pub you were meeting at so they may change the venue over text.
Another text might look like this: "I’m not into playing games. I don’t like drama. I don’t want to talk about past relationships. I am not into a long-term relationship right now, so if you’re okay with that, then let’s meet."
An ENTJ will reveal exactly their boundaries in their texts. They do what they say they will do.
Use of emojis: If you receive an exasperated (sighing) emoji from an ENTJ, it’s either an indication to soften an abrupt text from them or to let you know that you’re texting too much.
Whether texting, speaking on the phone, or face-to-face, the most valuable aspect of your communication is to first know your own Myers-Briggs preferences.
Then you can focus on meeting men and women you'll be most compatible with.
When you identify your preferences, you’ll be able to swipe right or left on dating apps, like Bumble and TInder, with greater confidence and understanding.
Poppy and Geoff Spencer, M.S., CPC, are certified counselors, nationally syndicated writers and relationship and parenting experts certified in Myers-Briggs personality typing who have appeared on NBC, ABC, CBS, YourTango, Bustle, and Popsugar. They are also “Millennial Translators,” national speakers, authors of a #1 Bestseller, One Billion Seconds: There’s Still time to Discover Love, and podcast hosts. As a husband and wife team, they have made it their life’s passion to help people immediately identify and address communication barriers.
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