20 Date Ideas Where You Can Talk And Get To Know Someone

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couple talking and laughing over coffee date

So, you made it past the first few dates! Now what?

How you go about getting to know this new person depends on what your purpose is in dating them. The kind of person you want to just have fun with may be very different from the kind of person who you want to have as a committed life partner.

Once you’ve gone out for a few dates, such as coffee or brunch, dinner, and a movie, try some new things and see how you click in real life. You see people differently when you are roller skating or singing karaoke versus sitting at a table while eating dinner and talking.

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If you want to get to know someone, the activities you chose for your dates should meet one or more of the following criteria:

  • It’s fun. You laugh and relax.
  • It gives you the opportunity to hang out and have different conversations. A movie may not be the best thing to do since you are not interacting during the movie, although it does give you a shared experience to discuss after the movie.
  • It allows one of you to share something you enjoy with the other.
  • It’s something one or both of you haven’t done so there is an opportunity to see how they operate outside their comfort zone.
  • It involves physical activity.
  • It lets you see how they interact with other in different situations.
  • It shows you their level of emotional intelligence.

Emotional intelligence is the ability to be aware of, recognize, and manage your emotions and the emotions of others to create effective relationships. You may not value this when you are younger, but it is difficult to navigate relationships and life with someone who lacks emotional maturity and concern for others.

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Below are 20 fun date ideas that will help you two get to know each other better.

Date ideas where you can talk and get to know each other

1. Coffee at a bookstore.

Start your date with coffee at the bookstore while you explore books you each enjoy and share your interests, passions (for books!), and the authors you'd love to take out to dinner (just to explore their philosophical and intellectual minds!)

2. Go for a walk or bike ride.

Take a walk or bike ride in the park and enjoy being outside. You can always take breaks for people-watching or to admire some of nature's beauty along the way. Maybe get ice cream afterward and take a romantic stroll at dusk or once the sun has already fallen.

3. Visit a botanical garden.

Visit the botanical gardens and learn about flowers together. (Maybe your date will pick up on some of your favorite flowers and make a mental note of what bouquet they should surprise you with later on.)

4. Go to a petting zoo.

Feed the animals together as you chat about your favorites and the pets you had (or didn't have) as kids.

5. Go roller skating or ice skating.

Or both! If you go more slowly and take a break for hot chocolate outside the rink, you can chat even more easily and privately.

6. Play ping pong, tennis, or racquetball.

And don't be afraid to win!

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7. Shop at a farmers market and cook a meal together.

There are all kinds of interesting goods to talk about at any farmers market, especially when you're trying to gather ingredients for something you'll both enjoy cooking and eating together.

8. Take a class together.

You can try cooking or painting (including ones where you can drink wine) or pottery. Try a lot of things! Don't worry about whether you're good at it.

9. Go to an arcade together.

Bring out your inner kid while you talk about your favorite games and have fun!

10. Go for a hike.

Time it so you can sit down somewhere and talk while the sun is setting.

11. Go horseback riding.

This can really set a romantic ambiance.

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12. Have an outdoor picnic you can enjoy somewhere quiet and beautiful.

Find a local park, the beach, near a pond or lake, or on top of a quiet hill. Don't forget utensils and napkins!

13. Tour a neighborhood's best restaurants.

Find a neighborhood neither one of you knows well and pick one place to have appetizers, another for cocktails, then a different one for your main entree, and one last spot for dinner. Or you can add another place for a nightcap, if you're feeling especially ambitious.

14. Plan a game night.

You can even make it a double date with friends and learn more about each other as you compete in each of your favorite board games.

15. Go to a concert or musical performance by an indie band or a jazz trio.

Make sure the type of music is something one or both of you enjoy, or a trustworthy friend with great taste in music recommended. Even better, see if you can get lawn seats and enjoy the music on a blanket together and talk in soft voices.

16. Go to a karaoke bar.

Not only can you have a blast singing karaoke, you can bond as you review your fellow amatuers' performances.

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17. Go mini-golfing.

Or actual golfing.

18. Go bowling.

Sometimes it's even better if you're both terrible at it!

19. Attend a lecture you're both interested in.

Attend a Meetup group with a topic or hobby you've both expressed an interest in learning more about. Then grab coffee or a drink after to discuss.

20. Meditate together or with a group.

You can meditate silently or listening to a guided meditation. When you're done, share your thoughts about the experience.

Dating is a way to explore if a person is someone you want to get to know better based on shared values, character, skills for navigating life and relationships, and emotional intelligence with the possibility of a committed relationship.

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Marilyn Sutherland is a relationship coach and the author of "Why Did You Load the Dishwasher Like That? 9 Whopping Mistakes That Push Love Away."

This article was originally published at Love Lead Connect. Reprinted with permission from the author.