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Having a liaison is easy. It's the next step that's a challenge.
By Carmen Harra — Written on Dec 02, 2022
Maybe you met a person who excites you but you’re not sure how to open up to him — or your love interest comes and goes but doesn’t commit.
It can be confusing to navigate through mixed signals and progress from fling to forever love.
The truth is that having a liaison is easy. Developing and maintaining a bona fide bond is difficult.
An adventure can transform into a life together in time, so long as both partners want that and take actions that establish devotion and dedication.
So, what can you do to transcend the barrier from casual to committed with the person you like?
Six steps to turn a casual relationship into a commitment
1. Understand what you need
Before anything else, you must understand what you need.
Because you don’t want to hurt anyone, including yourself, you must know what it is that you want before entering a relationship: do you need to have fun, have a family, or have something in-between?
If you don’t truly desire a relationship, don’t start one with a person who craves commitment.
Similarly, if you’re looking to get married, don’t settle for a person whose dedication can only last a few nights.
Know also that what you want and what you need can be two different things.
You may want to be single and party, but you might need a relationship to nurture personal growth and evolution.
Project a path for yourself in the near and far futures: Where do you want to be one, five, and ten years from now?
Write down your relationship goals and start working towards them today. Through self-reflection, you can begin to understand what’s best for you.
2. Pick an authentic person
Anyone can come across as sweet or charming in the beginning, but don’t let first impressions fool you.
He can put on an act and then quickly disappear or disappoint you once he’s gotten what he’s wanted. A person who has good intentions won’t pressure you into anything — physical or otherwise.
Another positive indication is if your special someone is willing to help you when you need help most. A sincere person will also accept your flaws instead of trying to mold you to his liking.
A partner who’s more genuine than exciting is more likely to be able to uphold a long-term relationship.
3. See beyond the season
Don’t dismiss the potential of your relationship by setting limits. It may have all the chances to flourish, but if you disregard it as temporary, you’ll create unnecessary boundaries.
Allow your romance to thrive beyond the coming months and into the years ahead. Let it become what it’s meant to become.
A healthy human bond doesn’t come with an expiration date, but it does come for a reason — it’s no coincidence that you met this person.
The best way to understand the role of a relationship is to ask yourself two questions:
- What lesson has this person come into my life to teach me?
- Realistically, can I see a future with him?
4. Make sure you’re on the same page
You might get along well with the person you like, but the timing might be off or he might be going through certain things he hasn’t divulged.
Sometimes we’re so impatient and determined to have a relationship that we push someone into it who might not be ready. This kind of behavior only leads to swift separation.
It’s crucial to have honest and open conversations with your love interest and share your intentions as well as receive clear answers to see whether you’re on the same page.
Remember that there is no convincing a person to commit. A committed relationship comes from free will and free will alone.
5. Develop emotional intimacy
Intimacy reaches far deeper than the physical level; intimacy can be soulful.
Emotional intimacy is the glue that brings and keeps two beings together. It’s a mental exchange between partners that allows each to understand the other perfectly and profoundly.
One of the chief reasons that many romances don’t evolve into relationships is that neither partner takes the time to truly get to know the other — to delve into the other’s needs, fears, desires, and complexities.
Pay close attention to the person you like: Ask him what he needs, how his day was, what his goals are, etc. Encourage him to open up to you without hesitation.
Set yourself up as a source of trust and support. This helps establish emotional intimacy and creates a deep sense of attachment.
6. Perform your inner work
It could be summer, winter, or any time of the year. If you’re not emotionally ready, your relationship won’t last.
Before you can engage in a new commitment, you must perform your inner work: Detach from the past, forgive others, clear your karma, and eradicate negative emotions.
Once there’s stability and harmony within you, you’ll attract a relationship that mirrors these qualities.
Examine your emotions and mental state with honesty and ask yourself:
- Am I carrying any baggage from my past?
- Do I harbor resentment, anger, or bitterness toward an old partner?
- Have I received closure from all former relationships?
Make a list of people you have to forgive and situations you should detach from, then take actions that reflect these intentions. Once you understand what’s going on internally, the steps you have to take externally become evident.
With the right actions, you can build a genuine connection with a great person. Apply these tips to go beyond attraction and establish a long-lasting and durable relationship at any time of the year.
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Dr. Carmen Harra is a relationship expert, intuitive psychologist, author, and radio show host. She has over 28 years of experience in helping people rediscover their peace of mind and power, and reclaim their joy.