6 Behaviors Women With Superior Social Skills Often Display That Make Men Take Notice
Coleman Glover | Unsplash Strong social skills come down to connection, and that's something people can feel. When a woman communicates with confidence and makes other people feel interesting, it creates an energy that's hard to ignore.
And yes, men notice. Authentic social intelligence is rare and refreshing. It signals emotional maturity, self-awareness, and the kind of warmth that makes people want to stick around. So what exactly sets these women apart? Here are seven behaviors that tend to show up again and again.
Here are 6 behaviors women with superior social skills often display that make men take notice:
1. They create an emotional connection
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To make a man take notice, you have to take the time to cultivate a strong emotional connection. Creating an emotional connection with a man doesn’t come from:
- Caregiving
- Buying him things
- Being like one of the guys (his pal) & spending time doing “buddy activities” together
- Sleeping with him
- Being his psychologist
Research from the American Psychological Association (APA) on attachment bonds in romantic relationships demonstrates how emotional connection blossoms between a man and a woman when both partners feel emotionally safe with one another to open up about their feelings.
When a man feels like you’re the kind of soft, sensitive, understanding, and empathetic woman who can listen, validate his feelings, care about his feelings, and tend to his needs without psycho-analyzing or infantilizing him, he feels seen.
2. They drop the walls
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Though it’s important to be emotionally available to his needs and feelings, what’s even more important is that you are available on your own and can share your vulnerable feelings with him. When you can be what I call the "love guide" in the relationship, and show a man, through your example, what it means to open up to another person, you can inspire him to want to share his vulnerable side with you.
3. They give off a grounded energy
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When you open up to him and share your feelings, make sure to stay grounded. A study on emotional regulation during relationship conflict helps show that when you can have a strong center and not flood him with insecurities and neediness, you can speak from your heart without overwhelming him with “pulling” energy.
There’s a big difference between having energy that implies, “I feel scared and angry, and I can handle these feelings, but I want to share them,” apart from the energy that screams, “I feel scared and angry, and I need you fix these feelings for me right now!”
To feel grounded, take the time to tend to your home and your body. These two things are physical representations of your “space,” your center, your core — and when you feel good about these two things, you can help yourself feel safe, welcoming, open, calm, loving, and patient no matter what he is doing.
4. They make their space inviting
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- Clean your house — dust everything!
- Think about new lacy curtains or painting your walls a soft yet bright peach or mint green.
- Make sure you love your bedding and feel cozy and clean in them at night.
- Put fresh, colorful flowers in each room.
- Light scented candles and always take out the trash at night
5. They project calm confidence
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The best way to win a man’s heart and make him want you is to own your appeal. Not every woman can think of herself as attractive, or even alluring, because of self-loathing thoughts that prevent these self-beliefs, as explored in a study of self-esteem. However, every woman can work on being more confident in themselves.
Women with strong social skills understand that confidence is a strong predictor of being an attractive person, but overconfidence that tips into arrogance undercuts those benefits. There's a sweet spot where you carry yourself with self-assurance rather than seeking constant validation or trying too hard to impress.
6. They're curious about the world
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To own your appeal, you have to step into your body. You have to indulge your senses and allow yourself to feel fluid (instead of uptight and full of tension) and open to the stimuli present all around you in this beautiful, wild world. When you eat, really taste your food. When you listen to music, really let it touch your soul. When you touch something, be curious about its texture and temperature (this includes a man’s skin.)
The Journal of Personality explains that when you can be curious about the world around you, like a child who's full of wonderment, a man can take that journey with you, and that’s when a love affair begins. That’s when you can win a man’s heart. Romance is about getting lost in one another in a loving, passionate way, so get lost in life in the same way — inspire him to make you want him the way you want to know and love the world.
Kristina Marchant is a writer and author with a BA in psychology from Barnard College at Columbia University. She is also a relationship coach who advises women on men and healthy relationship skills.
