6 Behaviors That Reveal He's A High-Quality Husband (And You Chose Well)
Strong signs you married a man with character.
Rido | Canva Many men might seem at a loss about how to make their wives feel authentically and deeply loved. Sometimes, it appears like they have no idea what to do and are just desperately seeking an elusive answer. Yet, they love their wives and show it in many ways.
Every man has a style for making his wife feel completely loved. But a wife might miss the subtlety of his love language and need some guidance from someone who sees the high qualities in him from the outside, that reveals you made an excellent choice of husband.
Here are 6 behaviors that reveal he's a high-quality husband and you chose well:
1. He listens
Inside Creative House via Shutterstock
When you talk, does he listen to you? Does he truly hear what you are saying? And, most importantly, do you know it?
Women and men often share differently. Women spend 24/7, so to speak, talking to their girlfriends, sharing their feelings, hopes, and dreams. Most men spend maybe 1 out of 365 days talking to their friends about their feelings. As a result, their listening skills are rusty.
For some women, trying to tell their husbands, sometimes for years, how important it is to them that they be honest with their family about time spent with them, feels like pulling teeth. She wants to make their primary family first, his family second. And every time, he may say, "Sure," but nothing changes.
Why? He's hearing her words but not listening because he's heard them before. He knows what she wants but also knows his mother wants something different, and if he just ignores the whole situation, it will go away.
He's not listening and his wife knows it. And what happens when a husband doesn’t listen to his wife? She feels like he doesn’t love her. While a study in Journal of Family Psychology showed, "Attentive listening while the other partner expressed stress was significantly linked with better dyadic coping behaviors and higher relationship satisfaction."
2. He doesn't try to fix you
PeopleImages.com - Yuri A via Shutterstock
One of the biggest issues that can arise in relationships is the difference in needs of women and men when it comes to dealing with challenges. When women are faced with struggles, part of how they deal with them is processing the emotions around the issue. For men, the inclination is to brainstorm a fix.
Unfortunately, if a man tries to fix a problem while a woman is still processing the emotions, things can get messy. You need to practice empathy. Empathy is defined as "the ability to understand and share the experience of another."
Instead of trying to fix your problem, he tries understanding where you are at and acknowledges how frustrating and anger-producing it is. He accepts and understands where you are in the moment and empathizes.
3. He does what he says he's going to do
Rawpixel.com via Shutterstock
Is he one of those guys who doesn’t always do what he says he is going to do, even if he genuinely wants to? Does he tell you that he'll be home at 6 even if he knows he isn’t going to be home until 8 because he doesn’t want to make you mad? Or that he will go pick up the kids after school, even though chances are good that he will have to work?
Wives may experience this situation: A husband promised he would stop on the way home from work to look at the new windows the couple is going to install. And he didn’t. Why? He knew that he wouldn’t be able to do it, but he didn’t tell his wife because he didn’t want to anger her.
In turn, a wife may take her husband’s actions to mean that he didn’t love her because, if he did, he would have done what he said he would do.
Often, for many men, their intentions are good, but they don’t do what they say they're going to do because they're worried that, if they speak the truth, they say they can’t do something, they will hurt or upset their woman. The opposite is true.
Men who don’t do what they say they're going to do hurt women more and definitely won’t make them feel loved. A 2001 study of why people keep and break promises in relationships found, "those who are most motivated to be responsive may be most likely to break their romantic promises, as they are making ambitious commitments they will later be unable to keep."
4. He uses his words
MAYA LAB via Shutterstock
Many women wish their husbands would "use their words" more often. They wish their men would tell them that they look nice when they're dressed up, that their success at work is remarkable, their golf game was dead-on, and the dinner they cooked was tasty.
Earned compliments such as these make a woman feel good about themselves. Knowing that someone they love is noticing their successes means the world to them and makes them feel secure with themselves.
It makes women happy when men verbalize their appreciation for the things she consistently does for them.
When a wife always supports her man when he needs to work late, but he doesn't thank her for doing so, it makes her feel like she doesn't matter. A wife may also make an effort to look nice whenever she sees her man so he knows he was worth the effort, yet he may never seem to notice.
All of the things these women do are for love, and their men fail to verbalize their appreciation of those efforts. So many men say, "I don’t need to tell her I appreciate her. She knows."
While you might know he appreciates you, you still want to hear him say it. You want to know he sees what you do out of love for him, and he recognizes how special it is.
5. He knows how to treat you
Zamrznuti tonovi via Shutterstock
Women can and should expect equal treatment both in the workplace and in the world. That being said, women do still like to be treated like ladies who are desired, respected, admired, and appreciated.
In many marriages, as the years go by, men and women can start treating each other more like business partners than romantic partners. Life, kids, careers, families — these all interfere with husbands seeing their wives as women, women who should be admired and loved. And there's nothing a wife wants more than to be treated like a woman.
So, what are some examples? Does he open a car door for you, buy you that special scent you like, tell you how fabulous you look, or take you out on a special romantic date? How about doing something to help out around the house "just because"?
When and how he treats comes down to respect and shared values, as expressed in a 2023 series of studies that showed "personal values are important variables in romantic relationship functioning."
6. He doesn't try to 'protect' you
Miljan Zivkovic via Shutterstock
Treating someone like you love them is one thing, but treating them like they are weak is another. Many men don’t share information with their wives because they're "trying to protect them."
They tell those little lies, lies that seem inconsequential but have real repercussions. According to a 2001 study explained how deception in relationships is related to "reciprocal exchange of information, the desire to avoid punishment, and individuals' attachment beliefs."
Little lies might be meant to "protect" you, but, in reality, they will only serve to make you trust him less, to feel less loved. And when you trust him less, marriages can fall apart.
Being honest about everything, big and small, is the key to a healthy relationship and a big part of what a woman needs to feel loved. Making every effort to be honest, always, helps you love and trust him even more.
Deeply meaningful symbols of love help couples stay together and stay in love. All of these things make you feel loved in a meaningful way.
Mitzi Bockmann is a NYC-based Certified Life Coach who works with individuals who strive to heal their toxic relationships so they can have their happily ever after. Mitzi's bylines have appeared in The Good Men Project, MSN, PopSugar, Prevention, Huffington Post, Psych Central, among many others.
