11 Behaviors Of A Disrespectful Wife That She May Not Even Realize She Is Doing
Leszek Glasner / Shutterstock We have all been guilty of falling into routine in our long-term relationships. We grow to expect our partners to be there, no matter what. While we try to value and respect our significant others, we can get caught up in the chaos of life and lash out at the person we care about most.
Respect is essential for all healthy relationships. It is a sign of deep admiration and love for your partner. When it gets lost through the years, it’ll show up in your wife’s behaviors. She may not realize she is doing these things. It can be something small, like forgetting to say ‘thank you’ after you do her a favor. Over time, it can grow more obvious. You may notice that her fuse is short, or that she struggles to process her emotions in a healthy way. Maybe there are more arguments popping up. Every relationship is different. She may not notice that she is doing these things, which show she is disrespecting her husband.
These are 11 behaviors of a disrespectful wife that she may not even realize she is doing
1. She is always moody
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I struggle with keeping my cool sometimes. I find that I am moodier more often than I’d like to be. This is something many women face. Women are more likely than men to use negative-related emotional coping mechanisms. We can act out of frustration and get caught up in our feelings. It’s part of life.
However, it’s important not to take this negative feeling out on others. When a woman is suddenly extra moody all the time, it can be a sign of disrespect. Of course, she cannot always control how she feels, but she can control how she responds to those feelings. She may not even notice that her moodiness is coming off as disrespectful to her husband.
2. She is never satisfied
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We all know someone who is never happy with anything. It doesn’t matter how much they are given; it’s never enough. In relationships, this feeling can be common. We may get caught up in our day-to-day life and find ourselves never feeling satisfied. A wife may be seeking a change in routine or more help from her husband. Whatever it is, a husband could feel as though he’s giving her what she needs, and she is simply fighting back in response.
Relationship fatigue is something that can take over. This may be a result of feeling unsatisfied or bored in life. When a wife reaches this point, it may feel like nothing you do is ever enough for her, because she is seeking something different that she may not be able to verbalize. It can come off as disrespectful, and she may not know that.
3. She never makes time for you
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I will be honest. I’m in a long-term relationship. Sometimes I get caught up in other things. It’s not because I do not want to spend time with my partner, but rather that I am caught up in something with my friends or other responsibilities I may have. Although I do not mean to hurt my partner’s feelings, I know this can come off as disrespectful. In the moment, however, I do not realize I am doing this. I figure I am caught up in other things, but unknowingly hurting my partner's feelings in the process.
Women may begin to distance themselves from their partners when they grow dissatisfied with their relationship. It may be a sign that the marriage is over, but it could also be that she is simply growing bored with her routine. She may not understand she is being disrespectful in these moments, so having an open conversation is important.
4. She is stubborn
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Stubbornness in a marriage is known as rigidity. If your wife is constantly lost in her own issues and struggles to perceive yours, she may be stubborn. It’s not easy to navigate a relationship when someone isn’t willing to bend on their ideas. Though she is not seeing your perspective and is holding to her own, she may not know she is being disrespectful. She may not be doing it intentionally.
“It's okay to have different opinions. We all see the world through the lens of our own wiring. As complex as we all are, it is the opaqueness to the needs and expectations of others that determines whether a relationship has a chance,” says Maria Baratta, Ph.D., L.C.S.W., for Psychology Today. “It is the inability and innate refusal to hear and comprehend one another and the recognition that the issues of the other person are of importance to you, too, that makes the difference in a relationship.”
5. She gives you the cold shoulder
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Arguments are bound to occur. Disagreements are part of life. No matter how much you love your partner, you are not going to agree on everything with them. What matters most is how these moments are de-escalated. Sometimes, it’s easier to give your partner the cold shoulder. Choosing not to talk to them and giving them the cold shoulder is what some women may view as a solution. They do not realize that what she is doing is disrespectful. She may not notice that her default problem-solving method is the silent treatment.
Everyone handles this differently. I am guilty of shutting down in moments of frustration. I don’t realize that I am even doing it. Some women may be unknowingly disrespecting their husbands by giving them the cold shoulder when moments are frustrating.
6. She complains often
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Complaining can be a sign of disrespect. Sometimes, a woman may not realize she is doing it. She might assume that she is just sharing her feelings. However, her husband can interpret it differently. He may find her constant complaints disrespectful.
Chronic complainers exist and do not realize their behavior is a problem. Others may choose not to engage with their comments, while some may find them offensive. If a husband is upset with his partner for complaining, he may interpret her behavior as disrespectful.
7. She is occasionally dishonest
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Many of us would never set out to intentionally lie to our spouses. We want to have an honest and respectful relationship with them. However, sometimes, a bit of dishonesty is involved. It can be little things, like not being fully transparent about how much money was spent when she was at the mall. Other times, it can be something more serious, but she may not know how to communicate it properly. As a result, she bends the truth without realizing it.
White lies are common in relationships. A wife may feel like she is preventing her husband from feeling pain. He may find that dishonesty can feel more disrespectful than hearing the truth. Even if she has good intentions, the truth always comes out in the end.
8. She never admits when she’s wrong
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Being able to drop our egos and admit when we have done something wrong is important. However, it is a skill that does not come easily to everyone. Some women may feel like they are never to blame for issues that occur in a relationship. She’ll have a hard time realizing that constantly pointing the finger at her husband is a sign of disrespect. Since she feels as though she is always the victim in these situations, she is unknowingly disrespecting her husband by failing to take accountability and discounting his feelings.
“Accepting they were wrong, absorbing that reality, would be so psychologically shattering that their defense mechanisms do something remarkable to avoid doing so—they literally distort their perception of reality to make it (reality) less threatening. Their defense mechanisms protect their fragile ego by changing the very facts in their mind, so they are no longer wrong or culpable,” says Guy Winch, PhD., for Psychology Today. She may see herself as innocent to protect herself, therefore not aware of how she is showing disrespect.
9. She doesn’t respect boundaries
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It’s important to set boundaries, even with the people we love most. Let’s face it, it can be hard to stay true to ourselves when a relationship takes over our lives. By setting boundaries, we commit to our individuality and protect ourselves from future pain. This is something that some wives may disrespect, whether they mean to or not.
It’s not uncommon for couples to become codependent. By setting boundaries, you are looking to prevent that from happening. Some wives struggle with keeping these boundaries set. She may become too dependent, completely unaware that her husband is feeling overwhelmed and disrespected by her behavior.
10. She undermines you
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When a woman undermines her husband, she is not taking his feelings seriously. She may not realize she is doing it. This can seem like obvious behavior to some, but it can be more subtle to others. She could assume that he is overreacting and instead undermines him because she believes it isn’t serious. These moments of disrespect can cause a lasting impact on their partnership.
Instead of coming to her partner and hearing him out, she may jump to conclusions that hurt his feelings. When he feels disrespected, his patience will shorten. As she might not know she is disrespecting him, she can be completely unaware of the situation.
11. She compares your marriage to others
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We’ve all heard the saying, ‘comparison is the thief of joy.’ It’s true. By looking at what we consider to be greener grass on the other side, we are hurting our own personal relationships. It can be difficult to find happiness when we want more than what we have. If a wife assumes her friends have a happier union, she may make comments comparing the two. She won’t realize that she is disrespecting her husband. She may think she is trying to encourage positive change.
However, being compared to other people does not feel good. Relationships are not solitary experiences. What may look great to someone else could be difficult for another. When a wife tries to compare her husband to someone else's, she is disrespecting him, whether she realizes it or not.
Haley Van Horn is a freelance writer with a master’s degree in Humanities, living in Los Angeles. Her focus includes entertainment and lifestyle stories.
