We Asked 10 Baby Boomers On The Street The Secret To Lasting Love And Their Answers Were Brutally Honest
Connect Images - Curated | Shutterstock If you run a Google search on "love advice," I'm willing to bet that you'll get back thousands of results. Sure, there's some valuable information out there about the dos and don'ts of making a relationship work, as told by relationship experts.
But what I was after was candid answers. When I set out to ask Baby Baoomers for their best piece of love advice was some real talk from the women who have actually "been there, done that" and lived through the ups and downs of making a relationship work in the long-term. They didn't disappoint.
We asked 10 Baby Boomers on the street the secret to lasting love, and their answers were brutally honest:
1. 'You can't give love to others if you don't have love for yourself'
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"I've been married for over 40 years. The most important thing I've learned is that you can't give something to another person that you don't have for yourself. When you are honest with the love you have for yourself, only then can you offer to share and sacrifice that love with another." — Marion, 66
Practicing self-compassion is linked to better well-being in intimate relationships, with people who love themselves tending to feel happier and more authentic with their partners. According to the Brain & Behavior Research Foundation, when you hold yourself in high esteem, you're more likely to make choices that nurture your well-being, including the choice of healthy, fulfilling relationships.
2. 'See the best in one another'
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"Love for one another and trust in each other are the most important things to have in a relationship. My husband and I were married for a long time, and we got along very well. He was very good to everybody. He was a very warm person who loved everyone; everybody was his friend. Sometimes I didn't see what he saw in others, but he got along with everyone. He made a lot of people laugh, and he kept people happy. Especially me." — Shirley, 68
People in relationships were actually happier when they saw their partners through an idealized, positive lens, and this tendency predicted greater satisfaction, love, and trust over time. Researchers describe it as being less "blind" and more "prescient": couples who genuinely hold their partner in high regard tend to create the relationship they envisioned.
3. 'Handsome + sense of humor = winning combination'
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"Choose a handsome man who has a sense of humor, so that you can laugh together all the time." — Nancy, 74
A University of Kansas study found that shared laughter, not just having a funny partner but both people finding the same things funny, is one of the strongest indicators of romantic compatibility and long-term relationship quality. Couples who laugh together regularly tend to feel more connected, and humor turns out to be a reliable signal of continued compatibility in established relationships.
4. 'Allow yourselves to miss each other'
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"We've been married for over 30 years. He lives at home with his two sisters, so we get to miss each other. In fact, when I go home, I'm going to call him." — Gayle, 62
Clinical psychologist Joshua Klapow has noted that separation is essentially a reminder of how much reward and reinforcement we get from our partners, and that time apart helps couples remember why they chose each other in the first place. Couples in long-distance situations report less frequent but more meaningful interactions, including deeper levels of intimacy, which tracks with the idea that a little distance can actually bring people closer.
5. 'Pay attention to how you're treated'
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"Pay attention to how you're being treated. If the person you're with is critical of you, that might just be the way that they are. It's not that they're doing it specifically to you; it's that they're like that with everyone. It's made me not judge people as much, to ease up on them, and not allow myself to be hurt by their words as much. But if you're not okay with it, you shouldn't be with that person."— Angela. 70
Renowned American psychologist Dr. John Gottman's decades of research with couples found that chronic criticism and contempt are among the most reliable predictors of relationship breakdown, with negative communication patterns capable of predicting divorce with over 90% accuracy.
6. 'Love shouldn't be hard'
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"When I'm with someone that I really like and care about, I feel safe. It's easy. Really easy. It shouldn't be hard." — Diva, 75
Research by the Gottman Institute confirms that emotional safety is one of the most important foundations of a satisfying romantic relationship, and that feeling genuinely at ease with a partner is what allows real intimacy and vulnerability to develop. When that sense of security is present, it reflects the kind of secure attachment that researchers consistently link to long-term relationship health and happiness.
7. 'Get married for the right reasons'
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"I've been divorced for quite several years. I married a guy for the wrong reasons, and he married me for the wrong reasons, but he was a very good ex-husband and took care of my daughters. Choose your partner for the right reasons. Make sure you feel comfortable with them, and that you're compatible intellectually and come from similar backgrounds. It makes things easier." — Mary, 62
The most successful couples tend to be those who entered the relationship in love, physically attracted, and emotionally and intellectually well-matched, with shared values providing the foundation for navigating real challenges over time. Research on unhappy marriages shows that entering a relationship for the wrong reasons, whether that's social pressure, fear of being alone, or surface-level attraction, tends to destroy satisfaction in ways that are hard to recover from.
8. 'Put yourself first'
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"You have to love yourself for you to give love to others, and that goes for everyone you love. Your friends, your family, and especially babies. Babies need lots of love." — Lisa, 72
Research from Florida Atlantic University found that low self-esteem and negative self-views can meaningfully damage relationships, with people who don't value themselves tending to undervalue their relationships, accept mistreatment, and struggle to give genuine support to the people they love. Caring for yourself is what makes you capable of showing up fully for others.
9. 'Treat each other as equals'
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"Don't be too serious with each other; it will make it easier to get to know one another. Always treat each other as equals. When we're in love, we speak a new language with each other and take care of each other in a special way. It's so pure and precious." — Bonita, 63
Equality, meaning both partners feeling heard, valued, and able to influence the relationship, is essential for building trust and long-term happiness. Research found that relationships are most satisfying when decision-making power feels fair to both people, with that balance tied to greater intimacy, marital quality, and overall well-being.
10. 'Build your love on friendship'
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"St. Paul said it best in 1 Corinthians (Love is patient, love is kind...). My own input would be that your mate has to be your best friend before he is your lover. You must be able to talk about and share your feelings without fear, and be able to laugh together and cry together." — Laura, 80
A 2017 study found that people whose spouse is also their best friend get nearly twice as much life satisfaction from their relationship as those who don't share that friendship foundation.
Danielle Page is a writer, editor, and content strategist who has written about relationships, career, finance, and beauty topics. Her work has appeared on USA Today, The New York Times, Business Insider, Cosmopolitan, Healthline, and many others.
