The Art Of Forever: 5 Simple Habits Of Couples Who Stay Married For Life
Some couples don't jut survive the years — they deepen through them.
Getty Images | Unsplash Relationships are tricky. They aren't a science — there is no way to ensure it'll work out, but everyone's got an idea of how you should approach them, and many people aren't afraid to share their relationship advice.
The problem is, not everything works for every couple. However, there are some themes couples can follow to keep their relationships on track to make it last long-term. These pieces of relationship advice provide a good starting point for couples who want to stay together forever.
Here are five simple habits of couples who stay married for life:
1. They ask for what they want
That's right: Physical intimacy is an integral part of healthy and happy relationships, hence the stress on keeping lines of communication open about desires. Researchers studying the link between intimacy and relational health found that "couples in a truly intimate relationship tend to be comfortable with tactile or bodily closeness, and their emotional closeness becomes embodied in a high level of comfort with physical touch. In fact, a relationship may suffer without those moments."
2. They stay spontaneous
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Remember when you first got with your significant other and everything was fun and exciting? You probably went on lots of dates, brought each other to your favorite bars and hangouts, and did all kinds of things you're probably doing much less of now.
Face it: the honeymoon phase doesn't last forever. But that doesn't mean you can't revisit it occasionally. Go out and have a good time like you used to eat, drink, and be merry.
3. They toss tradition aside
We are no longer confined to traditional gender roles. Forget what your mom told you about cooking and cleaning. Any person worth their weight in gold knows how alluring a strong, independent woman who can hold her own is. Research on changing gender norms highlighted that "for college-educated women, the association between gender norms and marriage formation became positive when gender egalitarianism prevailed. The findings also revealed an initial increase in divorce when gender norms were predominantly traditional."
Women like being catered to occasionally. Get in the kitchen and whip up a romantic at-home dinner for your partner. A couple who can respect each other's dreams and chase them together is a couple that will have a strong, lasting relationship.
4. They are willing to put in the work
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Despite what you grew up thinking, your perfect person isn't going to ride in on a horse and whisk you away. Also, don't expect to stumble across a magical item that's going to lead you to your princess.
Now, this doesn't mean you have to settle for the next best thing. We encourage you to find that one person you just can't imagine your life without, but idealizing that person is only going to make your search more difficult.
Be optimistic; I'm a firm believer that there is someone out there for everyone. Don't subscribe to the belief you're going to spend forever alone or that true love doesn't exist. It does, it just takes work, which brings me to my last point: Be willing to put in the work.
Successful relationships require both partners to put in a lot of effort; if you really love one another, it doesn't feel like work. A study of intimate relationships explained how timing, content, process, and reciprocation enhance the intended goals of coping, reducing stress, and strengthening relationships.
5. They don't compare their relationship to others
While it's nice to consult your friends about relationship issues, keep in mind that every relationship is different, and what works for one couple may not work for you.
This also means not everyone is going to understand why you do what you do. It may not make sense to your best friend why you chose to give up something you once loved for your significant other, and that's OK.
The truth of the matter is, there is no science to the perfect relationship. Keep your intimate life interesting and fresh, respect each other's dreams, and throw tradition to the wind. Know that love is real and occasionally messy, and most importantly, do what makes you and your partner happy. You'll be just fine.
Caitlyn Hitt is a freelance writer and editor whose work has been featured in Thrillist, Romper, the New York Daily News, and more.
