10 Signs You're A Sapiosexual (And Smart Guys Turn You On)

Brains > Looks, all day long.

smart man reading in bed PeopleImages.com - Yuri A / Shutterstock

Dating a smart guy is the hottest thing ever. There's nothing sexier than a man who can work his way around any conversation. Which is one of many reasons why it’s not surprising that so many women are identifying as sapiosexual these days.

Aren’t familiar with the term? “Sapiosexual” emerged as a new dating buzzword a few years ago, and it’s since taken off — there are now Reddit forums devoted to it, sapiosexual Facebook pages, and it’s even been added as an official sexual orientation by dating sites like OKCupid. What does it mean?


The definition of a sapiosexual is someone who is attracted to a person’s intellect way more than their body.

They get turned on by wit, intelligence, and a quick mind, and they’d rather listen to you flex your verbal dexterity than watch you flex your quads at the gym.


When asked about the rise of sapiosexuality in an interview, Jill P. Weber, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist, argued that words like “sapiosexual” can give “nuance to a personality and help people feel less overwhelmed by the dating world so they can specifically focus on what they truly want from a partner.”

So, do you think you might have some sapiosexual tendencies? Are you looking for a man with a personality that’s more Sherlock than Lochte?

If you're a sapiosexual like us (meaning his intellect gives you goosebumps, the sexy kind), these 10 signs that you prefer smart guys will sound VERY familiar.

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Here are 10 signs you're a sapiosexual and smart guys turn you on:

1. You find witty banter to be the best foreplay EVER.

Lob those slight ribs back and forth like a tennis match, baby.

2. Your idea of a great date is roaming the aisles of a local bookstore and casually making (non-pretentious) recommendations to each other.

A man that reads  novels, newspapers, non-fiction, whatever his poison  is a man that will never run out of things to say.

3. You know that "smart" encompasses not just book smarts. 

You're also turned on by emotional intelligence  the ability to read our feelings appropriately and respond in kind. See also: empathy.

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4. You're not impressed by his credentials; you're impressed that he never mentions them because he's so humble.

You have to brag on his behalf.

5. You have full confidence in his ability to have both a conversation with your 65-year-old father AND your 25-year-old brother on everything from sports to the situation in Israel.

He can easily switch from high-brow to low-brow, which equals well-rounded intelligence.

6. You text him and receive full, grammatically correct sentences back.

Bonus: His use of perfectly-timed, clever emojis.

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7. You don't go to the movies until six months into the relationship ...

Not because you don't like the movies, but because you simply never stopped running out of things to talk about. #swoon


8. The phrase “Neil deGrasse Tyson” gives you a raging lady-boner.

You'd rather watch Cosmos than read Cosmo.

9.  You love that movie night means a Hitchcock classic or a new French film, not The Fast & The Furious 15.

10. He's not overwhelmed by a complex female mind.

He says "Interesting, tell me more" instead of, "You think too much."

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Andrea Zimmerman is the editor-at-large at Yourtango. She enjoys reading, traveling, and reading while traveling. Email her at andreaz@yourtango.com.