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You're so vain, I bet you think this article is about you.
By Alex Alexander — Last updated on Nov 24, 2022
There's a fair share of women out there who don't have a problem kicking a guy to the curb. In fact, they are masters at how to break up with a guy when things go sour or they aren't fulfilled.
And sometimes, it's better to be single if it means getting rid of the main source of our angst and frustration.
While some relationship advice will tell you to stick it out, here are a few reasons women say bye to their baneful relationships. Are you paying attention, men?
11 Reasons Women Break Up with Men
1. He's moody.
One day he's all schmoopy woopy, the next day he gets a hair up his butt because we asked him what was wrong.
You think women are moody? I know plenty of guys who switch gears on a daily basis.
Guys hate to be poked and prodded to discuss their feelings. We get that. But shouldn't you feel lucky that you have someone in your life who cares enough (and is attentive enough) to notice a change in your mood and ask what's up?
Rather than get testy with us, why not just tell us you're in a mood and would just prefer to sulk for a bit before opening up? Too touchy-feely for you? Then just say, "I'm OK. Don't worry. Thanks for asking."
The thing men should understand about women is that we sense when something is off in a matter of seconds after you step through the door. If you don't want to be asked what's wrong, make a better attempt to hide whatever is bothering you. Don't sulk.
2. He's bad in bed.
Sometimes the sex is just... bad. Fumbling is cute the first time you get it on, but after a few months? It's just awkward.
You need to ask us if we like certain moves. Listen to us. Pay attention. If you mentally check out during sex and focus on your orgasm, you're missing all the cues we give you to let you know things are amiss or spectacular.
We feel awkward about telling you what works for us and what doesn't. We worry you'll think we've "been around" or we'll offend you. So you have to meet us halfway on this by paying closer attention and being connected with us in bed.
Listen to us if we say we don't like something. Don't tell yourself we'll eventually see the light and realize how amazing that move is that you do where you ram your finger in us like a tiny jackhammer then swirl it around like you're stirring your coffee with it. If we tell you we didn't like it, we didn't like it.
3. He's a caveman.
Nothing aggravates me more than the one-word answers, grunts, or the slow droning of a conversation where you can tell he's distracted and not focused on what you're saying. OK, so you're not a phone person. That's fine. But do you have to be so obvious about it?
If you can't tear yourself away from a game or an article or something, don't answer the phone. Nobody is holding a gun to your head. Send it to voicemail then text us and say you'll call us when you're through doing whatever you're doing.
In other words, communicate! Give us a heads-up that you'll be busy so you may not be able to talk much.
4. He thinks he's a mind reader.
I hate when guys decide they have my intentions all figured out because I called or emailed him to confirm plans he made! Guys, we have lives, too. We have jobs, we have friends, we have hobbies. We're planners.
Just because we'd like to plan our weekend on Wednesday doesn't mean we're flipping through bridal magazines picking out dresses. Women are always trying to show men that we "get" them by not being too demanding or inquisitive. How about some reciprocity here?
5. He hangs with his friends too often.
Look, at 25, it's cool that you hang with your bros at Joshua Tree or whatever post-frat haven you prefer. But at 35? It's old.
We have yoga class at 10 a.m. or a hair appointment, or brunch with friends, and we really don't feel like disrupting that schedule just to deal with you and your drunk antics at 2 a.m.
A man who spends a large amount of time with his friends (like, three nights a week) after a certain age makes us wonder something: How come all his friends are either single or spending so much time away from their girlfriends?
We know how some of your friends jokingly give you a hard time for "settling down." Usually, they're the guys who can't keep a girlfriend longer than a couple months. That worries us.
6. He lies.
Now, this one I have to meet you halfway. I get why you lie. You want to avoid drama. But if you are going to lie, you better be good at it. Because, a) we usually know, and b) if we're particularly cunning, we'll catch you in the act because we pay attention. To everything. We know when things are wonky.
If we ask you why you lied, don't put it on us and say that you "knew" how we'd react. No. You didn't. You didn't know how we'd react because you lied, so you didn't give us a chance. But if you lie just to lie? You're automatically labeled a sociopath.
7. He works too much.
Yes, many of us ladies want a man with drive and ambition. And there are plenty who are happy to trade in time with their man for a nice house in the Hamptons or trips to Paris three times a year. Those women are not all women.
Many of us actually want to see you, talk to you, check in with you. Why? Because we like you and like spending time with you.
We love a man who has a great work ethic. We're not so crazy about men who love their jobs more than us or who can not prioritize us from time to time.
8. He treats you differently around his friends.
I'm not talking about excessive PDA here. Most of us know not to embarrass you by hanging off of you when you're with your friends. We know that makes you end up looking like the Guy With The Clingy Girlfriend.
But taking a tone or attitude with us so you can show your friends you wear the pants? Bite us. And you can dream on if you think you'll be sleeping in our bed that night, so you might as well go home in a different cab.
9. He's cheap.
Thursday night special at the local diner? How fun! Twice a week? Eww.
Are you the guy who always (meaning every week) looks for those free drink specials at local bars or the two-for-one burger deals? That's a turn-off. Frugal is smart. Cheap is not.
10. He doesn't listen.
We have two ears and one mouth for a reason. Sometimes we just want you to listen. It's sweet that you want to fix our problems, but what we need you to understand is that we aren't always looking for your Rubik's Cube-oriented problem-solving skills. That's why we turn to our dads. (Sort of.)
You don't want us to think of you the same way as we do our fathers, do you? (Read: no!) Please wait for us to finish talking, and then you can tell us what you think. Even if you don't agree with us! Just listen. That's all we ask.
11. He acts secretive or defensive.
If you get all dodgy because we asked you who was on the phone, or you're always playing the pronoun game, we're going to assume you're hiding something. Like a wife. Or a criminal record.
Don't turn the tables on us and suddenly make it about how we have trust issues, are crazy, and so on. Usually, when we sense something is up with a guy, we're right. So accept the fact that you've been busted and take it like a man.
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Alex Alexander is a frequent contributor to YourTango.