3 Things Deeply Clingy Women Do Pretty Much 24/7
There's a fine line between affection and neediness, and these three behaviors cross it.
Ehsan Ahmadi | Unsplash Women wondering how to attract men often don’t see that there are benign acts that drive men away and ruin any chance at long-term love. These acts are innocent enough, but not in the eyes of the male.
And understanding this helps us understand why men pull away. Three specific types of deeply clingy women are guilty of these behaviors. These clingy acts are subconscious, meaning they’re done without the woman realizing it. And this makes them much harder to remedy — you can’t fix something you don’t know you’re doing, leading them to self-sabotage every one of their relationships.
Here are three things deeply clingy women do pretty much 24/7:
1. Say yes to everything
If you’re a people pleaser, you’re a woman who gives to get. This giving isn’t done because you feel generous or it fits in with your natural personality; rather, you possess a subconscious belief that giving will make a man indebted.
You create a secret contract in your mind by giving a man what he wants. In return, you assume he’ll do the same. The reason this doesn’t work is obvious — giving to give isn’t an act of selflessness; it’s an act of being selfish.
But it can also have collateral damage — it forces the other person to compromise himself and sacrifice for the other person. And it reflects how the woman feels, too — it often means you don’t feel good enough about yourself. You believe that by doing everything for the other person, they won’t have a reason to leave.
2. Insist on handling everything themselves
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The core belief is that she needs to take care of herself — it’s the "I take care of me" attitude. Independence can be attractive, but it can also be too much of a good thing.
Independent women are often viewed as low-maintenance, something that is alluring to many men. And some women are independent because that is who they are — other women do it as a defense. If they don’t rely on anyone, they can’t get hurt.
But refusing to be vulnerable is damaging to a relationship — vulnerabilities knock down defenses and allow people to feel as if they truly know each other. And those elements are essential to true romance. The Protector must throw down their arms to open their heart.
3. Go along with everything he says
She is a chameleon, willing to be whatever the guy needs her to be. She pretends to like baseball or heavy metal. She feigns interest in Bitcoin and acts mesmerized when he talks about HTML. She’s like the cousin of the people pleaser, but with an Oscar nomination.
Women who do this don’t only sabotage their relationships, but they also sabotage themselves — they’re not being true to their feelings and desires. They pretend, they act, and they go along with the flow … all things that can only last for so long.
It’s exhausting and it’s short-lived. It also conveys weakness — by pretending to be someone else, you tell the world that you are not confident in who you are. It’s also risky — when you pretend, you never allow the guy to see the real you. And, who knows, they may like the real you much better than any facade.
Clayton Olson is an International Relationship Coach, Master NLP Practitioner, and Facilitator specializing in dating, empowering men and women, self-esteem, and life transitions. He has 20 years of experience working to optimize human behavior and relational dynamics.
