The Painful Truth About Getting Over A Guy Who Was Never Really Yours

He was never officially yours but he still broke your heart anyway.

Woman with hands on her head Mixmike | Canva 

It’s silly to feel heartbroken about losing a guy who never thought of you as more than a friend. It doesn’t seem right to be upset at him and to blame him for the pain you’re feeling. It’s unfair to hold him accountable for all your misery.

Because he was honest about not being able to commit to a relationship when you met him. He told you upfront that he wasn’t looking for anything serious. He made it crystal clear that there would be no strings attached between the two of you.


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But you chose to fall in love with him anyway.

You picked him over someone else because you were hoping that eventually, he’d appreciate your efforts of sticking with him, and he’d realize that you’re worth the chase. You were positive that he’d change for you and he’d ask you to be his official significant other.



You were willing to wait for him to make up his mind about you…until one day, your world immediately turned upside down when he broke the news to you that he was seeing somebody else.


And you pretended to be happy for him.

You held back the tears that were forming in your eyes. You forced your smile and showed him how proud you were. You wished him all the best, while your whole world collapsed inside of you.

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He broke you into tiny pieces without even realizing it. And the worst part was that you weren’t sure if you had the right to be sad, to cry over him. Because the truth was — he was never yours.

But getting over a guy who didn’t like you back is the same thing as getting over any kind of broken relationship. You need to accept that some things aren’t meant to work out because they are not destined to be part of your story. They aren’t meant to stay in your life.


You have to believe that there’s someone better who’s coming your way. There’s a love story that fits perfectly for you out there. And there’s a right time for you to meet the guy who’s going to be so sure of you.

But in the meantime, you have to be kind to yourself and give yourself the time that you need to heal and move on. You have to stop feeling sorry for yourself because one day, you’re going to forget him. You’re going to find someone who can replace him in your heart. You’re going to feel the love that you deserve. And you’re going to feel at home in someone else’s heart.



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You don’t have to feel embarrassed about loving someone who never had any special feelings for you. It’s okay if you become a fool in the name of love. It’s okay if you allow yourself to cling to a false hope that someone gave to you.

You might think it’s impossible to completely wipe him out of your heart, but after quite some time, you’re going to learn to slowly let him go. You’re going to realize that he’s not worth your attention anymore. And you’re going to learn that there are so many guys out there who are better than him.

He is not the only guy who can melt your heart. He is not the only guy who can make you feel weightless. And maybe he isn’t the guy who’s destined to be your one and only.


Maybe one day you will find your right match, too. And maybe then you will just smile at yourself after remembering the times that you fell in love with the wrong one. 

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Angelo Caerlang is a writer and author of Sparks in Broken Lights. His bylines have appeared on Puckermob, Thought Catalog, and The Mind's Journal, where he writes on lifestyle and relationship topics.