Husband Tells His Stay-At-Home Wife That Wanting To Publish A Book Is 'Just A Hobby' After Noticing The Household Chores Are Starting To Pile Up

He claimed that his wife's responsibility is taking care of the chores, which she can't do if she chooses to pursue writing a book full-time.

upset wife working on book fizkes / Shutterstock

A husband shared on Reddit that his stay-at-home wife has recently started neglecting her household responsibilities in favor of a new career venture. He does not approve. 

In his Reddit post, he explained that his wife is in charge of all household chores since he leaves for work at 7 a.m. and doesn't return until 7 p.m. However, their usual routine was disrupted when his wife decided to put her English degree to use and start writing a book.


After noticing chores were starting to pile up, the man told his wife that wanting to publish a book is 'just a hobby.' 

"Over the past few weeks chores like the dishes and dusting haven't been getting done and started pilling up so I decided to talk to her about it," he wrote. "She told me that I have to start doing some of the chores too, as she is working too now." 



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Originally, he thought writing would be something she did to pass the time — not a full-time career. He told her as much, insisting that until she started making money, writing wasn't a job but a hobby.

He attempted to remind her that they originally agreed she would take care of the household and their 7-year-old daughter while he served as the breadwinner. Naturally, she became upset at his insistence and accused him of belittling her.

"I tried to defend myself by explaining I'm not mocking her. Her writing doesn't make any money, meaning it's not a real job and just something she does for her own enjoyment for the time being," he continued. The two continued to go back and forth for some time.

"She got even more mad at me and has decided to go sleep in the guest room for the time being," he shared, adding that she has begun doing more chores since their confrontation.


Husband Tells Wife Wanting To Publish A Book Is Just A Hobby After Noticing The Household Chores Are Starting To Pile UpPhoto: - Yuri A / Shutterstock

The husband should have been more supportive of his wife's endeavor. 

There's value in a person being able to express themselves through the art of their choosing, and his wife's desire to rekindle her passion for writing should be nurtured and supported rather than dismissed or stifled.

It's also unfair of him not to realize that a successful writing career often requires significant time, effort, and investment before seeing monetary success. Many renowned authors have faced years of rejection and financial struggle before finally achieving recognition and money for their work.


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Sure, it might seem scary for him to wrap his head around the idea at first, but it isn't as if she quit her job to start writing. He's already the sole breadwinner of the family, so her choosing to embark on her writing journey won't suddenly drive them into poverty. 

Additionally, the wife's decision to pursue a writing career does not absolve her of her share of household duties. However, it's unreasonable for him to expect her to prioritize chores over her career aspirations and dreams without considering a different redistribution of their chores. All he had to do was sit down with her and have an open discussion about how they could divide up the chores to allow her to pursue writing.



A supportive partner would want their significant other to reach for the stars and achieve all they want to achieve. Her life's purpose isn't necessarily being a stay-at-home wife and mother. She should be given the freedom to follow any path she desires instead of being confined to traditional gender norms and expectations.   


Commenters agreed that he should've handled his response in a better manner.

"Your wife is insanely unfulfilled. She's a college-educated adult that's been relegated to being a live-in maid," one Redditor wrote. "She's bored and was probably floundering until she found something that makes her happy, something that makes her feel useful and productive."

"Renegotiating responsibilities as life changes is part of the nature of having a life partner," they continued. "Instead, you told the person you love that they don't get to try to find their way in life unless your laundry is done, and [looked down] on her passions on the way out."

Husband Tells Wife Wanting To Publish A Book Is Just A Hobby After Noticing The Household Chores Are Starting To Pile UpPhoto: Have a nice day Photo / Shutterstock


"As a person who has dedicated his life to making art, I think it’s insanely demeaning to tell someone their work is a hobby just because it doesn’t make money," another commenter wrote. "You give the strong impression that you want a maid rather than a partner. If you don’t start encouraging her passions, you might find yourself hiring a maid because your wife has left you for someone who loves her as a person!"

The man should empower his wife instead of crushing her dreams and making it seem as if she has no shot at writing a successful book. He can choose to contribute to her overall happiness and career goals, along with the change in their relationship dynamic, or he can continue to cause strain in their marriage. Either way, his decision likely won't impact his wife's desires and her potential for success.

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Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.