Heartbreak

15 Deadly Behaviors You Keep Doing Over And Over Again In Your Relationship

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couple that looks depressed

It's said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

So, yes, we know that snooping around our partner's email account is a bad idea in healthy relationships, but sometimes we find ourselves doing it anyway. The results? Not so successful. Plus, we start to feel unbalanced — and perhaps rightly so.

This point is this: there are certain relationship mistakes women make over and over again. Like sleeping in a bad position and waking with a stiff neck, we sometimes don't realize we're blundering and repeating until the "ouch" factor comes into play.

Well, it's time to stop. Quitters sometimes prosper, especially when lousy habits get left behind. Here's how to have a healthy relationship and a list of blunders we wish ladies would stop making.

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Here are 15 deadly behaviors you keep doing over and over again in your relationship:

1. You think you'll never get over him

You will. Two months and several powdered donuts later... you'll feel better.

2. You hack into his emails or phone looking for suspicious messages

And then you yell at him for the "k thnx bye" text he sent to his female co-worker two months ago. "k thnx" is not code for "hot steamy sex." (Is it?)

3. You think he has to be interested in everything you do, think and say

When it comes down to it, we zone out when men talk about circuit boards, right? Having a best friend outside a relationship is a good thing.

4. You displace your anger

Freud was right with this one. If you're mad at him because he ate your tasty restaurant leftovers out of the fridge, tell him you're mad at him because he ate your tasty restaurant leftovers out of the fridge. Don't turn it into a commitment issue.

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5. You put so much energy into the idea of a fairy-tale romance that you're disappointed with anything less

Love is worth it, but don't expect it to be like the ones in your favorite romances.

6. You wait for someone to find you, instead of going out and finding someone yourself

It doesn't work like that.

7. You think that a perfect relationship should be easy

Relationships require work and compromise. A perfect relationship means doing those things well.

8. You drop your friends when you're falling in love

Friends help define who we are and we need them when things get tough.

9. You think that getting a boyfriend or husband will solve all your problems

No one can fix our lives for us!

10. You use the silent treatment

Our partners can't read our minds; they won't know what's wrong unless we suck up and tell them.

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11. You don't ask for what you want in bed

It can be as little as an appreciative moan when he does something good or as much as a frank discussion about our fantasies. Again, he can't read minds and you'll both benefit from knowing what you find pleasurable.

12. You deny that there's a problem in your relationship, instead of facing it and asking what needs to be done

Problems don't usually go away on their own. Letting them fester only makes it worse.

13. You think depending on someone else is a weakness

Leaning on someone else sometimes is a sign of healthy relationships.

14. You over-analyze

There's an analysis and then there's over-analysis. Wondering why the fiancé didn't call once during his bachelor weekend in Vegas? A legitimate case for analysis. Wondering why he only called twice and not three times during a guys' night out. Not so much.

15. You try to reinvent the relationship wheel

If some items on this list feel cliché, it's because they are! If you would only listen to a good dose of love advice now and again, you'd probably save yourself some heartache.

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Alex Alexander is a pseudonym. The author of this article is known to YourTango but is choosing to remain anonymous.

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