5 Crystal-Clear Signs That Your Toxic Relationship Is Not Meant To Be

Toxic is never sustainable. Know when to go.

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The Disney scene where Mickey and Minnie gaze into each other eyes right before a giant cartoon heart forms between them exists for a reason — relationships are supposed to be full of love.

Even cartoon mice know this. Unfortunately, this isn't always the case. Sometimes relationships are anything but cartoon hearts. Sometimes, they aren't full of love at all.

How to know if your toxic relationship is not meant to be.



Unfortunately, the signs of an unhealthy relationship aren't always overt; the cartoon heart doesn't suddenly turn dark and morph into a skull right before our very eyes. Rather, the signs of a toxic relationship are often more subtle. But, rest assured, they are there. You only need to know what to look for.


Abuse, meanness, and perpetual one-upping are all signs of an unhealthy relationship, but you may also have an unfit union if you have experienced the following in your (possibly toxic) romance.

5 crystal-clear signs that your toxic relationship is not meant to be.

1. You and your partner never see each other.

It can be hard to consider yourself in a relationship if you never actually see the person you are in a relationship with. This is largely why people who say they are dating their internet pen pal are never taken seriously.

Never seeing each other — or seeing each other very sparingly — is one of the biggest signs of an unhealthy relationship. You see, it's rather simple: if you want to be in a relationship, you actually need to be together.


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2. You and your partner see each other too much.

There is a delicate balance between never seeing each other and seeing each other too often. The latter can also be one of the signs of an unhealthy relationship.

The reason for this has to do with codependency: you shouldn't rely on your partner for everything. Instead, you should spend some time apart, doing your own thing. This will make you appreciate each other more and ultimately strengthen your relationship in the long run.

3. You and your partner talk to everyone else, but not to each other.

When you have a problem with your partner, you call your mom and talk her ear off. Your partner does the same and calls up their friends for an emergency meeting of the minds.


But, this is detrimental to the relationship. It's fine to vent to your friends and family from time to time, but you must talk to each other as well. If you don't, you'll never solve your problems and, as such, happiness will remain elusive.

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4. You and your partner only focus on one person's wants.

Another of the common signs of an unhealthy relationship has to do with dreams and desires. We all have them, even those of us who aren't particularly ambitious. Dreams and desires don't have to be drastic, involve huge career changes or a move to Ann Arbor, Michigan.

Even apparently small wants, like the desire to watch CSI instead of The Real Housewives of Orange County, qualify. Because wants exist within us all, a relationship must balance out the wants of both partners whether the want is big or small.


If one person always gets their way or only has their needs met, the relationship isn’t fair and, most likely, will not make it in the long run. Even when it does make it, it's likely one party will be unhappy.

5. You and your partner don't like each other.

At the root of love — if you and your partner don't like each other, there's little chance you can love each other. The concept of loving but not liking one another only exists — and succeeds — when we feel as if we have to (such as loving our sister but not really liking her).

With a partner or spouse, however, we don’t feel an innate obligation to profess adoration: Instead, we struggle to love them even if we don't like them. Sometimes, this can be remedied. If there is something your partner is doing that makes you not like them, asking them to change (and then doing so) may alter your feelings.


Other times, however, not liking someone is a sign it may be time to move on and find the person who can truly make you happy.

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Michael Griswold is a relationship and life coach who uses his expertise to help men and women heal broken hearts and find love again