9 Things That Start To Feel Normal To People Who've Been Sad & Lonely For Way Too Long
Alina Levkovich | Pexels Being sad is normal, but letting that sadness or loneliness feed on your joy and well-being is not.
When people feel sad or lonely for way too long, certain things become normal that should never be. They may slip into unhealthy sleep patterns or rely on harmful coping mechanisms, and these are the red flags they've been battling for a long time.
Things that feel normal for people who've been sad and lonely for a long time
1. Not feeling excited by anything
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It's not uncommon for someone with poor mental health to lose interest in the things that used to bring them joy. Whether it's social events or hobbies, they suddenly lack the motivation to engage in anything that could help heal their inner sadness.
They just don't feel happy doing them anymore. And if someone's grown so used to being sad that even happy hobbies and events don't bring them any respite, it's a huge red flag.
2. Faking a smile
Many people who are sad and lonely feel like they're putting on a front all the time. Early on, being around friends and planning fun events can be a distraction, but when you're sad for a long time, it can feel even more taxing.
They're wearing a mask to hide dealing with their sadness, and that takes a lot of energy to keep up with. Suddenly, nothing brings them genuine excitement or happiness anymore, and they're forced to fake it until they're in the comfort of their own home.
3. Relying on background noise for company
Many people rely on background noise to cope with loneliness and silence at home. But when that becomes the default, it's more of a red flag than some realize.
Not having communication or anyone around at home means there's no one there to break up feelings of loneliness. And when that becomes the norm, it creates a spiral.
People rely on media and entertainment for support, but this added stimulation only ends up being a distraction from the inner healing and growth they need.
4. Forgetting simple things
On top of all the brain fog that affects daily life and routines, people struggling with loneliness for too long experience memory struggles with positive events. Even when they're experiencing small joys, their brains have a hard time holding onto these memories and feelings.
Existing in an unhappy place becomes their baseline, especially when pulling from nostalgic or positive memories feels difficult.
5. Struggling to make decisions
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When sadness lingers, it takes a lot of energy to manage. That's why so many people struggling with it experience all kinds of cognitive struggles, whether that's problem-solving or making decisions.
Even small everyday decisions become much harder, and over time, avoiding them or doing nothing to cope feels normal. The kinds of big choices they need to heal feel out of reach, because deciding what to have for dinner or what to wear to work becomes all-consuming.
6. Doubting people's true intentions
Many people struggling with loneliness over a prolonged period of time experience a loss of trust in other people and in themselves. It creates self-isolating behaviors, because not believing in someone's true intentions or not trusting in them reaffirms their desire to go inward.
They start saying "no" to invitations more often and avoid putting themselves out there socially. Doubting people and losing connection with them become normal, and they end up spiraling into more intense feelings of loneliness quickly.
7. Ignoring hygiene and appearance
Many people suffering from poor mental health experience shifts in motivation that affect things like a hygiene routine and nutrition. Many barely have the energy to get out of bed, let alone to brush their teeth or do their hair.
The more they ignore these things, the harder it is for them to leave the house. They start feeling bad emotionally and physically, and that's not motivating anyone to step out of their comfort zone to heal.
When you've been sad and isolated for a long time, avoiding these basic habits might feel normal, but not doing them is coming at the expense of well-being.
8. Speaking down to themselves
According to a 2026 study, self-criticism is highly associated with loneliness. The more isolated and lonely someone is, the more likely they are to speak negatively about themselves.
As we know, the more you feed into limiting beliefs and an inner critic, the easier it is for your brain to automatically believe and use them over and over again. Even if it feels normal to think poorly about yourself and say terrible things, at some point all of that negativity and insecurity catches up.
9. Not answering calls or texts
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Empathetic phone calls and texting with social support systems can actually help to ease symptoms of depression. But, unfortunately, it becomes harder and harder for someone who's struggling to engage as they stay isolated.
Self-isolation may bring relief in the moment, but over time it only amplifies feelings of shame. People suffering put their relationships in jeopardy, but they also put their well-being on the line, staying stuck in alone time that's not doing them any favors.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor's degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
