11 Ways Parents In The 1980s Had It Way Easier Than Parents Do Now
melissamn | Shutterstock Every era of parenting has its own sets of challenges. While a few inventions and changes have made parenting easier for Gen Xers and millennials, there are a number of ways it's gotten harder. Tracking apps like Life360 have made parents of teens feel more comfortable knowing where their teens are, but sometimes you can't help but wonder if we really need all that information. That's just one of the ways parent sin the 1980s may have had it easier than parents do now.
Today’s parents and children have more access to technology than any past generation overall, which experts say has both positive and negative implications. No matter how you look at it, raising kids is a challenge, even for parents who look perfect online. While some parts of being a parent have gotten easier over time, the pressure to be perfect looms much larger than it used to.
11 ways parents in the 1980s had it way easier than parents do now
1. Kids in the 80s had much simpler schedules
fizkes | Shutterstock
It's an objective truth that kids today are scheduled to the max, and many experts are concerned not just on the toll this takes on the kids, but also on their parents and siblings. Over-scheduling can lead to kids not getting enough sleep, which can result in poorer grades and less emotional control. And any parent who interacts with a kid whose emotional control is lessened can attest that it is hard to deal with!
Kids in the 80s also had more time for unstructured play, which, according to research, is “a fundamental necessity" and removing those opportunities can cause all sorts of problems. Playing tag, swinging, and jumping can help kids learn to take risks and manage their emotions. They learn social-relational skills by interacting with other kids and having to negotiate disagreements.
Without those opportunities, parents have to absorb most of those responsibilities, which is nearly impossible. Their kids often end up feeling sad, and even depressed, because they're lacking the connections they need. On top of all of this, parents have to drive their kids to all of these activities and then wait around for them to be done!
2. They didn't have to deal with online mom-shaming
fizkes | Shutterstock
For every post a parent makes about embracing their messy home or announcing their gentle parenting style, someone leaves a comment about how they’re doing it wrong or how they’re harming their kids. Parents whose lives seem "perfect" may be shamed for not embracing the mess. This is especially rough for moms, who researchers have found experience immense pressure to be perfect.
“What we are experiencing today is learned behavior," Roland Legge, a life coach, explained in a YourTango survey. “What is wired into us is the need to be in the community and build relationships with others. For millennia, people have compared themselves to others, but with social media, it has become toxic.”
In the 1980s, parents had no real way to know what the inside of anyone else’s home looked like unless they were invited in. Now, everywhere you turn, it feels like a mom is being shamed and the judgement of all of society is coming down around her unfairly.
3. Parents didn't have to micromanage their kids
Liderina | Shuttertstock
Kids have less autonomy now than those in previous generations had. Gen X kids walked to school unsupervised or waited for the bus all on their own. Some Gen X kids even ran errands on their own, heading to the corner store for milk or a carton of eggs on their mom’s orders.
Kids spend less time alone now, mostly because parents are expected to be there managing them at all times. Unfortunately, this often translates to parents stepping in and solving their kids’ problems for them, preventing them from learning how to settle conflicts by themselves. That means parents need to intervene in their relationships for longer.
The time required for parents to be this involved in their kids' decisions is immense and exhausting. Worse, it makes it harder for parents to take care of themselves or have a separate, adult identity.
4. Kids didn't have to get straight As to be successful
Ground Picture | Shutterstock
Kids now have way more academic pressure put on them than past generations. In an '80s kindergarten classroom, making macaroni necklaces and building block towers were top priorities. Now, kindergarteners are expected to have a grasp on basic literacy right off the bat, which shows just how much times have changed.
Academic expectations are much steeper now than they were in the 1980s, at every level. Kids are expected to meet rigorous standards. They take state-wide standardized testing at every grade level and schools email parents and ask them to prepare their kids for these tests starting as early as 1st grade. Depending on their level of privilege, many kids start prepping for the SATs in middle school.
While we may blame parents for this pressure, it's important to look at the overall system and have compassion. College has become basically unaffordable for most families, and according to the Education Data Initiative, "Considering student loan interest and lost potential income, investing in a bachelor’s degree can ultimately cost in excess of $500,000." With that in mind, kids aren't pressured to be "perfect" for nothing, it's so they have an opportunity to attend college.
This amounts to enormous financial and scheduling pressure for parents, not to mention the fallout from their kids' exhaustion and stress levels!
5. Parents in the 1980s had a lot more community support
Dima Berlin | Shutterstock
Another sad way being a parent has changed drastically since the 1980s is the lack of widespread community support. In the '80s, it was common for grandparents to help raise kids. Tight-knit neighborhoods helped carry the weight of parenting, with one mom watching a gaggle of kids one day, and another mom a different day.
Now, the village has grown smaller, almost to the point of being non-existent. Families live far away from each other. The cost of childcare has sky-rocketed and most parents work outside the home, so there are less moms around to help supervise neighborhood kids.
Without community support, parenting can be a very lonely job. New moms often struggle alone in their homes for the first time, walking through neighborhoods where people don't connect the same way they did in the 1980s. They turn to social media for support, and often find a lot of judgement and perfectionism that make them feel inadequate rather than part of a community. Overall, it can be very lonely these days!
6. Parental anxiety was much lower
Monkey Business Images | Shutterstock
It’s not an exaggeration to say we live in an extremely stressful era, where political and economic uncertainties loom large. Gen Xers may never forget where they were when the Challenger exploded, but kids today have experienced worldwide grief and loss in unprecedented waves, partially because neither kids nor parents today can escape the constant news cycle full of despair and fear-mongering.
According to Dr. Cara Goodwin, parents today (as well as their kids) experience higher anxiety than past generations. The existence of the 24 hour news cycle, along with instantaneous access to information, might keep parents in the know more readily, but it also raises their stress and existential anxiety in ways that feel virtually impossible to combat.
While it feels simplistic to say parenting was less stressful in the 1980s, there is truth to that sentiment. Parents today hold the weight of the world on their shoulders.
7. 'Screen time' only meant time watching TV
Ground Picture | Shutterstock
Another sad way being a parent has changed drastically since the 1980s is the massive rise of technology’s influence over people’s lives. The decisions parents have to make around their kids’ access to technology are way more layered now than they were in the '80s. It’s no longer about playing Atari or watching Calbe TV, and the implications are way heavier. What age should kids get their first cell phone? How much screen time should they be allowed to have? Parents can track their kids’ movements with their phones, something that both alleviates anxiety and increases it.
Today’s kids have access to technology that kids in the past could never have dreamed of having. According to a study titled “Effects of Excessive Screen Time on Child Development,” kids in the 70s started engaging with media regularly at four years old, while now, kids start interacting with media and digital devices starting at four months old.
The negative effects of too much screen-time have been well-documented by now, but parents are also busier than ever and offering their child screen time can make a massive difference in how smoothly the whole family's days go. On top of that, too many children are accessing information and images online that are not just inappropriate for their age, but potentially damaging. With the stakes this high, it's no wonder parents today are so much more stressed than parents in the 1980s.
8. It cost way less to raise kids
fizkes | Shutterstock
Another way parents in the 1980s had it way easier was the cost of expenses compared to income. The increase in how much it costs to raise children in the last ten years has been startling. According to an archived New York Times article published in 1983, the USDA reported that raising a baby in 1980 would cost a family between $69,232 and $76,655. Raising a baby born in 1982 would cost between $80,926 and $89,720.
In 2024, raising a child born to a middle-class married couple could cost $312,202, if not more. If you compare that to how much median income has risen, the difference is breath-taking. EconoFact shares the reality:
"Real median weekly wages were 19% higher in Q1 2025 than in Q1 1985, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics. A similar pattern can be seen across other measures of earnings: real median household income rose from $58,930 in 1984 (in 2023 inflation-adjusted dollars) to $80,610 in 2023, an increase of 37%."
The cost of having kids has become prohibitively expensive, to the point where young people are deciding not to have any because they can’t afford to raise them. And that should tell you how hard it is on parents today.
9. Parents had actual free time
Prostock-studio | Shutterstock
In addition to the fact that the majority of parents of both genders work outside the home, and parents work more hours today than they used to, parents are also expected to give up all their free time.
Many parents in the 1980s could be described as having a laissez-faire approach to raising kids. If their kids made it through the day in one piece without destroying the house, it was considered a parenting victory. Now, parents are expected to monitor their kids’ every move or risk being called a bad parent, which means they have way less time for themselves.
While paying attention to your kids and meeting their needs is, without a doubt, critical to parenting, being too attentive can negatively affect children’s ability to emotionally regulate themselves and solve problems on their own. Research has found that helicopter parenting denies kids the space they need to manage their emotions and behavior. It also means parents have to do the emotional labor of managing kids' emotions themselves.
10. Parents rarely felt guilty
Indypendenz | Shutterstock
No matter what era parents are in, guilt is part of the process. There’s always so much to worry about. Are my kids happy? Are they being bullied? Will they ever eat broccoli? While parents might not ever get clear answers to some of their more existential questions, they never actually stop worrying, which can lead to them feeling guilty.
Working parents feel guilty for not being around. Stay-at-home parents feel guilty for not having jobs. Parents feel guilty for things they do and things they don’t do. And while some of that guilt is to be expected, societal pressure and social media exacerbate that guilt, until it becomes too heavy to bear. Parental depression starts to become common, and according to Yale Health, that effects the kids, too.
So many parents today feel inadequate. They wonder if they’re making the right choices for their kids. Yet the truth is, there’s no way of knowing. There’s no one answer. All parents can do is the best they can, at this moment, with the tools they have. All they can do is offer love and warmth and unconditional support, and that, in itself, is enough.
11. Parents saw a bright future for their kids
AYO Production | Shutterstock
Every parent dreams of their kids having a brighter future than they had, and for generations, that was generally true. Millennials are projected to be the first generation to earn less than their parents, which is depressing. But Gen Z's situation might be even more depressing.
Currently, Gen Z is reported to be on track to earn more than their parents, but their expenses are projected to be so much higher that they are less likely to be able to own a home and more likely to carry significant debt. Parents raising Gen Alpha kids are likely even more worried about their kids' future, as they've already seen so many changes in society, AI, the economy and politics.
Gone are the 1980s, when parents saw the American Dream as a reality for their kids, something essentially guaranteed. Now parents fear that dream is over and face the challenge of trying to hold out hope that their kids' world will stay intact throughout all of this chaos.
Alexandra Blogier, MFA, is a staff writer who covers psychology, social issues, relationships, self-help topics, and human interest stories.
