11 Things Frugal Parents Quietly Judge Their Adult Kids For But Would Never Say Out Loud
Frugal parents and their grown children often have different priorities when it comes to money.
Bricolage / Shutterstock Even though many people tend to be affected by their financial upbringing and parents’ financial mentalities later in life, some adult children overcompensate for those experiences on the other end of the spectrum. For example, a child who grew up resentful of their parents’ frugality may enter adulthood ready to overspend and invest in a way their parents never allowed.
That’s why, once they are grown and out of the house, there are many things frugal parents quietly judge their adult kids for, but would never say out loud. From using credit cards to making significant financial investments and even spending on experiences and convenience, there are several things that frugal people would never do, but let their kids indulge for the sake of maintaining their relationship and respect.
Here are 11 things frugal parents quietly judge their adult kids for but would never say out loud
1. Buying a new car
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Even though buying a new car and investing in something brand-new seems like a frugal dream, the truth is that there are long-term benefits and payouts to doing so. According to experts from Progressive, brand-new cars lose around 20% of their original value in the first year of ownership, so it’s a much smarter financial decision to purchase a used car if you have the money.
That’s why frugal parents tend to judge their kids for buying into prestige and seeking out status symbols like a fancy new car with their money. They’re not only misguided long-term financial decisions, but a waste of money.
2. Overspending on convenience
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Even amid financial insecurity and uncertainty, many households still place a lot of value on convenience, according to a PYMNTS study, carving out space in their budgets for things like grocery deliveries and online shopping. They’re willing to spend extra to save on time, something that’s become both a status symbol and a commodity in our culture.
However, for frugal people, who will spend more time learning skills, traveling, and planning to save money in the long term, it’s not surprising that this is one of the things they quietly judge their kids for, but would never say out loud.
3. Getting a new phone every year
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Many younger generations feel pressured to keep up with trend cycles, whether technological, such as phone upgrades, or fashion trends. It’s one of the things frugal parents quietly judge their adult kids for, but would never say out loud, especially if they’ve witnessed their kids struggle with belonging or community.
There’s a psychological element behind buying into trends that many people overlook. If people are struggling with their own identity or feeling lonely without community, buying into trends on social media or fads on the internet can give them a misguided sense of belonging. They can fit in by spending money like everyone else.
Even if that means overspending and relying on credit cards, it’s a coping mechanism for their emotional and psychological struggles, something that their frugal parents may not understand, but still respect.
4. Spending too much on rent
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While older generations of frugal people could sacrifice certain things to save up for a home or afford a nice apartment at a lower cost, many of their adult children are struggling to afford even the most basic one-bedroom apartments amid rising costs. However, this heightened spending on city living and apartments is one of the things frugal parents quietly judge their adult kids for, but would never say out loud, especially if the option to move home is on the table.
While it may be a point of contention between younger generations and their frugal parents, many don’t have any other option. Many Gen Zers and millennials are spending more than the recommended 30% of their income on rent, unable to afford buying a house or finding a low-cost alternative.
5. Going to a coffee shop daily
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According to a Statistica survey, the average consumer spends more than $50 monthly buying coffee outside of their home, rather than investing in a coffee maker that could do the same at a much cheaper price. For many younger generations, going to coffee shops isn’t just about having a little treat or getting caffeine, but finding community and belonging, especially given the deterioration of “third places” for their generations.
However, regardless of what prompts them to overspend on coffee outside the home, it’s still one of the things frugal parents quietly judge their adult kids for, but would never say out loud. They may not understand the need for community or overspending on things you could make at home, but they don’t question the autonomy of their kids’ choices at the expense of their relationship.
6. Buying bottled water
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Even if it seems simple and innocent, spending on single-use plastic water bottles can be a huge financial commitment compared to a reusable alternative. Yes, they may be convenient, but according to a study from Penn State University, it can cost the average consumer more than $1,300 annually to keep up with the habit of using them.
It’s one of the little things frugal parents quietly judge their adult kids for, but would never say out loud. They can give their advice, but at a certain point, it’s their independent kids who have to make the decision to form better financial habits.
7. Overusing credit cards
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While frugal individuals are careful about the kind of debt they take on, only spending the money they have in situations where it’s possible, their adult children are far more likely to rely on credit cards to afford basic necessities and financial priorities.
In fact, the majority of younger generations are using credit cards far more than their parents were at the same age and will likely carry the burden of those balances and compounding interest for decades. It’s one of the things frugal parents quietly judge their adult kids for, but would never say out loud, especially considering their precarious financial situation amid a poor job market, stagnant wages, and rising costs.
8. Not budgeting
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According to a Bank of America study, many younger generations are struggling with money stress and financial insecurity, largely because they lack the financial literacy and tools to excel with investments, budgeting, and long-term planning. However, their lack of budgeting, and sometimes, their lack of interest in cutting back on experiential spending that their parents dislike, is one of the things frugal parents quietly judge their adult kids for, but would never say out loud.
Part of the reason they’d never say it out loud is because they’re uncomfortable talking about money with their kids. The lack of financial literacy among many people in younger generations is often due to a lack of conversations about money at home growing up. So, even if they’re judging their kids for their lack of financial literacy, it’s largely due to their upbringing, which their parents partially crafted.
9. Grocery shopping without a plan
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Many younger generations of adult children, like Gen Zers, are splurging on luxury groceries and organic alternatives in an effort to prioritize their general well-being and nutrition. While these shifts in purchasing may differ completely from their frugal parents, they’re a priority, not something Gen Zers are often willing to compromise on.
However, they’re also one of the things frugal parents quietly judge their adult kids for, but would never say out loud. They may opt for less expensive off-brand alternatives and go to the grocery store with a strict list. At the same time, their adult children find a bit of escapism and joy from being able to afford more expensive alternatives instead of larger investments like a home.
10. Making excuses for financial irresponsibility
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Many frugal parents, who are intentional about their spending habits and budgeting, can’t help but judge their kids for making excuses when it comes to money. Whether it’s “treating themselves” with an expensive meal or using a phrase like “I deserve this” to justify overspending, they find themselves worrying about the money choices their kids are making to misguidedly cope with stress.
Stress, worry, and financial insecurity are all inherently intertwined. Not only do people feel a lot of uncertainty about their money, but many also use spending to cope. By using phrases like these, they can grapple with the guilt of financial irresponsibility in the present moment, even if it ends up sabotaging their well-being down the road.
11. Online shopping
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Considering many younger generations today are bombarded with pressures to overspend online, whether it’s advertising on social media or a constant comparison culture online, it’s not surprising that online shopping is one of the things frugal parents quietly judge their adult kids for, but would never say out loud.
Even if it’s things as simple as spending on convenience by purchasing their groceries for an extra fee online or feeding into trend cycles by buying new clothes impulsively from their phones, online shopping and e-commerce platforms have made it far too easy for people to spend their money without a second thought.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
