Single Dad Called A ‘Misogynist’ For Refusing To Let His 7-Year-Old Daughter Get Her Ears Pierced
He was accused of trying to "control" what his daughter can do with her own body.
Halfpoint | Shutterstock A single dad said he was taken aback after getting backlash from family members for putting his foot down when it came to his daughter getting her ears pierced. Posting his dilemma to Reddit, the 31-year-old man claimed that his sister, who helps out a lot when it comes to raising his 7-year-old little girl, reprimanded him after he said he didn't want her to get her ears pierced. In fact, his sister went so far as to call him a "misogynist" simply because he felt she was too young for permanent jewelry.
A single dad was labeled a 'misogynist' because he thought his daughter was too young to get her ears pierced.
"I am a single dad to a 7-year-old. Her mom is not in the picture at all," he began in his Reddit post. "Financially, I have no problem raising her since I have a well paying job. But I live close to my parents, sister, and extended family so that my daughter grows up with family, since obviously she doesn’t have any social connection to her mom’s side."
Ketut Subiyanto | Pexels
He explained that his family has played an integral role in helping him raise his daughter, so he's always willing to listen to their opinions and suggestions. He also believes that his parents did a good job raising both him and his sister, so their advice is always something he'll take into account when given.
With his sister being quite involved in raising his daughter, she's taken on a bit of a motherly role towards the young girl, which he admitted is not a problem for him. His sister also has full authority to reprimand and discipline his daughter whenever she sees fit, including grounding her or scolding her if she's acting out. Unfortunately, the siblings began butting heads after his daughter expressed an interest in having her ears pierced.
His sister made an appointment to get the little girl's ears pierced without telling him.
The dad wrote that he was blindsided after his sister gave the okay to the little girl to get pierced without consulting with him first. "Apparently she talked to my sister about it and my sister (without asking or even telling me) made an appointment to get it done. I said absolutely not. I don’t want my daughter doing any of that. She’s too young. I want her to be a kid as long as she can."
Obviously, this went over like a lead balloon. The problem, however, is that neither dad nor his sister is wrong. Dad has the right to say no when it comes to something like ear piercings, but his sister has also been given a whole lot of authority when it comes to helping raise her niece. It doesn't really feel like she is out of bounds for making the appointment without getting his permission first.
As one commenter noted, "Why do you trust your sister to discipline your daughter, but not introduce her to the things that a lot of young girls are interested in?" Another wrote, "He stated he gives his sister full authority but gets upset when she made a decision without consulting? It sounds like dad and his sister need to clear up a few boundaries moving forward."
And essentially that's the biggest issue here. As this little girl gets older, the boundaries need to be more firmly defined, or else dad and aunt are simply going to disagree about pretty much everything, and the only one to suffer will be this girl. She obviously views her aunt as a mother figure, which is why she went to her about getting her ears pierced in the first place.
Psychotherapist Ilene S. Cohen, Ph.D., explained, "Consistency is vital when it comes to setting boundaries. When we are inconsistent, it sends mixed signals to others about what we find acceptable. This can lead to confusion and more boundary violations. Being consistent means expressing your boundaries verbally and reinforcing them through your actions."
The single dad's sister took the issue too far by calling him a misogynist.
The issue in this family dispute is fundamentally about boundaries, not about misogyny, at least not from the information we have from the Reddit post. Dad didn't say his daughter can NEVER get her ears pierced. He said he felt she was too young, and ultimately, that's a decision he has the right to make.
Dziana Hasanbekava | Pexels
Despite the fact that his sister is involved in helping raise his daughter and taking care of her, it doesn't mean that she's the little girl's parent. It's great that his daughter is able to have a mother-figure in her life, but her aunt doesn't just get the final say in major decisions like having her ears pierced. At the end of the day, he's still her father, and there should have at least been a conversation before she decided to just book the appointment.
When he expressed his discomfort with the idea of his daughter getting her ears pierced, his sister outright accused him of being a misogynist. She argued that just because he has a daughter, he doesn't get to control every aspect of her life and what she does with her body. While that's true, his daughter is only 7 years old, and while some parents might be fine with their child getting their ears pierced, it's not something all parents want for their kids.
From the information we have in the post, it's pretty obvious he is not a misogynist, but rather a dad who genuinely cares about the well-being of his daughter and wants her to enjoy being little for as long as possible.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
