Dad Asks If He's Wrong For 'Encouraging' His Daughter To Be A Housewife
Is he just being supportive?
PeopleImages.com - Yuri A / Shutterstock A 24-year-old father is struggling to raise his daughter, whom he had when he was only 19, and as such, does his best to support her in everything that she says and does in order to keep her happy. So, when the five-year-old girl was cycling through the future jobs she aspired to, one of the ones she landed on was housewife, and her desire to be a mom and stay home with the kids landed him in hot water.
A father was called out for 'encouraging' his daughter to become a housewife.
“My daughter is at that stage where kids pretend they are grown-ups with jobs,” the father wrote on Reddit. “The jobs differ depending on who she meets or sees on the TV. In the last few months, she wanted to be a teacher, babysitter, truck driver, president, garbage collector, photographer, ‘knee doctor’ (after I injured it), scientist, witch, [and] football steward.”
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Like any father of a five-year-old child, he did his best to support her by playing along, buying her anything he could afford that would help her play the role. When an old friend of his came to visit and revealed that she was a housewife, the five-year-old cycled to her new profession. He explained that his daughter has now started playing house and expressing her interest in being a housewife.
When his neighbors caught wind of the situation, they were angry with him.
“They told me we aren't in the '60s anymore and young girls shouldn't dream about being [housewives] anymore and demanded I stop brainwashing my daughter because her subconscious will start settling for being a housewife instead of dreaming about bigger things,” he wrote. “Every day has been a struggle and most of the time I don't even know if what I am doing is right so the thought of unintentionally hurting my daughter is filling me with guilt."
There is nothing inherently wrong with being a housewife, and as people on Reddit reassured the dad, the important thing was that he continued to encourage her dreams, regardless of whether that culminates in being a housewife or CEO, which don't even have to be mutually exclusive.
"I don't really get the sense of you [encouraging her to be a housewife], so much as you [encouraging her]. This week it's a housewife, next week could be an astronaut. It doesn't matter. You're not dictating to her, you're just letting her express interest and encouraging it," one person wrote. "You're a fab dad."
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Writing for Northwest Educational Services, Chris Loper shared, “'What Do You Want To Be When You Grow Up?' It’s such an innocent question. You might even say it’s aspirational. What could possibly be wrong with asking a kid what they want to be when they grow up? A lot, actually." He went on to say, "This question places too much emphasis on career. For people with prestigious careers, this bogus narrative is a source of overblown pride: 'My son is a doctor.' Or for people with less prestigious careers, it’s a source of shame: 'Oh, I’m just a barista.' People are more than their job titles. They are complicated, dynamic human beings. Maybe you want to be an architect when you grow up, but you also want to travel, play guitar, climb mountains, volunteer, and raise a family. We ask the 'What do you want to be when you grow up?' question, expecting one answer, but it’s ridiculous to have just one answer. How unimaginative is it to envision a future dominated by a single activity or a single identity?"
And therein lies the answer. Each week, this dad's daughter changes her mind about how she envisions her life. She isn't pigeonholed into one path. She's learning, growing, changing, and exploring. And if this dad truly wants to raise her right, he'll make sure she always keeps her options open and understands that just like Loper shared, our futures should never be "dominated by a single activity or identity."
Many people sympathized with him, offering up the commonly known but hardly spoken fact that all parents are winging it and hoping that it goes right.
Being a parent is very difficult. Maintaining another human’s happiness, all while trying to teach them right from wrong, is no easy feat. It's so easy for people looking from the outside in to be critical, but ask any parent, and they'll tell you that kids truly do say the darndest things, especially when they are imagining what they envision for their future lives.
The fact is, this week his daughter wants to be a homemaker, next week she might want to be a ballerina, and next month she might want to be a firefighter. Being a good dad is encouraging her, no matter what path she explores. Who knows, her dream of being a mermaid could translate into an Olympic swimmer, just like dreaming of being a housewife could morph into a NICU nurse. Or maybe just maybe if he doesn't limit her thinking, she could be both, and if she wants, also be a mom. When you aren't given limits to your dreams as a kid, you don't grow up to limit yourself.
This dad isn't doing anything wrong. If anything, he's doing it all right. There is nothing wrong with having a daughter who likes to play house and dreams of being a mommy. Remember, the week before, she wanted to be a knee doctor, and if he keeps encouraging her, she can choose to be both.
Isaac Serna-Diez is a writer who focuses on entertainment and news, social justice, human interest, and politics.
