Kids Who Were Taught 'You Get What You Get & You Don't Get Upset' Usually Have 9 Rare Traits As Adults
ShotPrime Studio / Shutterstock Kids are taught all kinds of unwritten rules at school and at home when they are little. The golden rule of treating others the way you would want to be treated is a biggie, but another one that you may or may not remember is being told that you get what you get and don't get upset (or don't throw a fit).
While a phrase like this can be seen as shockingly dismissive by people who never heard it from their own parents or teachers, in practice, this saying presents children with an opportunity to learn gratitude, emotional regulation, delayed gratification, and emotional maturity. If you heard this often when you were young and it's stuck with you to this day, there's a pretty good chance you also developed several rare and wonderful traits that are serving you well in life.
Kids who were taught that you get what you get and you don’t get upset often have these rare traits as adults
1. They can wait comfortably for what they really want
PeopleImages from Getty Images Signature via Canva
Patience is a virtue that people often do or do not learn as kids. Either parents give in to their kids’ every desire and coddle their emotions, or they offer them opportunities to sit with discomfort and to practice waiting.
When a parent says you get what you get and you don't get upset right after giving you something you're probably not thrilled about receiving, it teaches kids to find gratitude where they can while waiting for what they really want. The kids usually become comfortable with what they have and the emotions they’re feeling, instead of hyper-focusing on what they’re missing.
2. They’re grateful for what they have
When you grow up in a home where you’re expected to be grateful, it often gives you the foundation to be less entitled and more patient as an adult. Of course, kids won't simply feel grateful because they’re being told to, but with the perspective a healthy parent using this phrase offers, they have space to practice.
As they take space to sit with disappointment and challenge themselves to put their annoyance into perspective, these kids grow into adults who can focus on what they have and appreciate it.
3. They rarely compare themselves to others
Kids who constantly beg for the next best thing and have parents who don’t make them wait for anything they want often learn to associate their self-worth with how they stack up in comparison to others. They look around at what everyone else has, and if they know they’ll get something other kids have just by asking, they do it over and over again.
As adults, this kind of focus on comparisons can be detrimental, not only emotionally, but also financially. Instead of looking around to judge what everyone else has, kids with parents who taught them delayed gratification and patience learn to appreciate what they have.
4. They can handle disappointment
Max kegfire from Getty Images Signature via Canva
Kids don’t just learn emotional regulation skills by watching their parents. They learn by practicing in moments when they are inconvenienced and feel uncomfortable, which spoiled kids’ parents immediately try to cover up and fix.
Even if it’s frustrating for kids in the moment, being told to appreciate what they have and being prompted to sit with the disappointment of not getting everything they want sets them up for success. They enter adulthood being able to handle not getting everything they expect and sitting with those feelings, instead of expecting everyone else to solve them.
5. They don’t expect to be coddled
These adults don’t need everyone else to coddle them to feel secure. They don't rely on getting everything they want or validation from others to feel comfortable.
They can sit with their discomfort and disappointment without blaming others. They were taught early that their emotions and disappointments are their own responsibility, even if it feels easier to blame the world for not getting exactly what they want.
6. They can move through discomfort
We're most likely to grow when we seek out uncomfortable experiences to challenge ourselves. That’s why this phrase is so powerful for kids' development.
Being told to accept what you were given, even if it wasn't your favorite option, teaches us the tools we need to lean on in order to appreciate discomfort and grow, even if it feels bad in the moment. Being inconvenienced and not immediately getting what we want is difficult sometimes, but learning to use that desire and frustration to better ourselves is a rare trait that helps people achieve better results in all aspects of life.
7. They celebrate others
andreswd from Getty Images Signature via Canva
Instead of harboring jealousy and resentment about someone else getting what they want, kids with a gratitude-focused mindset learn to celebrate others earnestly. They don’t expect to get every desire immediately, and they know that being grateful and regulating their emotions is more rewarding than instant gratification anyway.
They learn to get comfortable here, even if they’re more motivated to achieve or seek something out after watching someone else get it themselves.
8. They can differentiate between needs and wants
When kids believe that all their desires are actually needs, usually because their parents swoop in to give them whatever they want, they may struggle later in life with expressing their genuine needs and coping with the discomfort of not getting everything they want.
For them, there’s no line between what they actually need and what they want. Not only does this put pressure on their relationships, but it also creates unnecessary stress.
9. They can feel satisfied with their achievements without constant praise
When someone's self-worth is tied to getting everything they want and parents who constantly swoop in to solve their problems, it’s no wonder these kids expect praise and reassurance from everyone.
Kids who were taught to stay calm when they are disappointed find that security in themselves. Especially because seeking validation is so accessible in our digital age, it’s important that adults are equipped with a sense of inner security and reassurance before entering adulthood. If they expect everyone else to save the day or meet their every desire, their happiness and comfort just aren't sustainable.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
