The Lie About Being A 'Super Mom' That's Burning So Many Women Out
Peopleimages.com | Canva Being a mom is hard; there's no way around it. And somewhere along the way, a lot of women picked up the idea that they're supposed to do it all, be it all, and somehow enjoy every second of it. That "super mom" mindset sounds admirable, but in reality, it's burning out many women. Between the constant pressure, the never-ending to-do list, and the weight of mom guilt, it's easy to feel like you're always falling short.
The truth is, trying to be a perfect mom doesn't make motherhood better; it just makes it more exhausting. Whether it's summer break chaos or the daily grind, chasing those picture-perfect moments can leave you drained, irritated, and wondering why it still doesn’t feel like enough. If you've ever felt that way, it might be time to let go of the "super mom" myth entirely.
The lie about being a 'super mom' that's burning so many women out:
1. It's never going to feel like enough
Monika Grabkowska / Unsplash+
No matter how hard you try, how much you invest, how creative and determined you are, the reality is your kids will find something to complain about. No, I’m not being negative, I’m being real.
My keen observations are gleaned from personal experience and the many stories shared with me over the years by overwhelmed yet well-meaning moms. It boils down to a mathematical equation: the more effort you expend in trying to make your kiddos happy during the long, hot summer weeks (or ever!), the more creative they become in finding reasons why it wasn’t enough.
There is no making them happy, so quit trying so hard. They have to learn to make themselves happy.
2. You can't do everything, and trying will burn you out
Since your to-do list isn’t any shorter whether they're on summer break or just bored on a weekend, trying to create a “Kodak moment” or an Instagram-worthy experience will only make you more stressed out. You'll end up more exhausted and, sadly, more resentful of your kids because they may not appreciate the time and effort you put into making their day at the museum one to remember (note to self: which kids really like museums?).
By trying to make things wonderful for your kids every single day, you’re actually doing the exact opposite and becoming a super stressed-out, irritated, and impatient mom. Chillax. There is no contest to see which mom ticked off all the boxes from that Pinterest checklist of "101 Things You Must Do This Summer." In the words that became popular during the Frozen era, "Let it Go."
3. Trying to fill every moment is what’s actually wearing you out
Alexander Grey / Unsplash
Yes, time with your kids seems equally fleeting yet never-ending (like childhood in general). Over the summer, you've got eight weeks to create lifelong memories: The days at the lake, road trips, running a lemonade stand, hitting a homerun, learning how to ride a bike, and family day at the amusement park. All the highlight reels your family will replay for decades to come. Don’t mess it up!
How’s that for insane expectations? Not only for yourself, but also for your children? What’s really important, though, are the fun, loving memories you can create every single day of the year if we parent with more clarity, competence, and confidence.
And there you have it. Some of the reasons why you should toss being a "summer super mom" (or a "super mom" all the time in general) into the bin of really ridiculous ideas that should never be considered. The next time you feel even a smidgen of guilt because you didn't “make the most of your kids' summer,” make a mental list of each laugh, hug, and conversation you had with them.
Remind yourself of the times you allowed her to change her clothes five times before she was ready to go out. High-five yourself for miraculously keeping that pasted-on smile while your son adamantly refused to eat the nutritious dinner you slaved over in Hades’ kitchen, as he grabs a piece of watermelon instead because “it’s too hot to eat.”
Bonus round: Give yourself a gold star for all the things you didn’t say/nag about/criticize despite your exhaustion, irritation, and lack of time for yourself.
Surviving summer parenting with your sanity still intact is beyond amazing. It’s a superheroic effort, and you deserve a medal for that alone!
And always remember: Being a mom is one of the most difficult, challenging, and rewarding roles in the world. You’re a supermom, no matter what season it is, or how much effort you put into entertaining your kids.
Atara Malach is the founder of Parenting University, a psychotherapist, and a certified professional coach with over 30 years of international practice.
