10 Forgotten Expectations Of 90s Kids That Actually Taught Responsibility
sonya etchison | Shutterstock While parenting styles and childhood experiences from the 1990s are more nuanced than only discussions about technology and phones, there's no denying that research suggests kids who have phones before 12 years old are more likely to develop social struggles and mental health concerns. Many of the forgotten expectations of 90s kids that actually taught responsibility are related to different parenting styles and a different world, but they also linger around the issue of screen time and phones.
From old school manners taught by 90s kids' parents to different social expectations for everyone, many adult children who grew up in this time period are more responsible, regulated, and empathetic because of the life lessons they learned and the expectations they were held to.
Here are 10 forgotten expectations of 90s kids that actually taught responsibility
1. Going outside to play
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Even if it's a lost art in the world of safety concerns and overprotective parents today, unsupervised play largely formed 90s kids' social and personal well-being, even into adulthood.
While parents today often have no ill intention about guiding and protecting their kids, they're actively stripping them of their independence. Kids who don't have to solve their own problems or fill their own time will grow into adults entirely reliant on other people to live through the most basic, inevitable parts of their routines.
2. Solving their own boredom
Experts from the Mayo Clinic agree that appreciating and leveraging boredom regularly is good for your brain. Not only does it help to add value to alone time, but it also ensures that people learn to be responsible for their own time without expecting people to appease their every need.
Kids from the 90s didn't have constant supervision and entertainment from their parents, even if they were there to support them in certain ways. They had to make their own friends, problem-solve through issues, and fill their alone time without help.
3. Getting home without phone directions
While today's kids are almost completely reliant on technology and their phones for everything, from staying connected to making their way home after running an errand, learning these directional and social skills without phones is one of the forgotten expectations of 90s kids that actually taught responsibility.
They had to actually pay attention, take notes, and practice things like walking home from school without technological help. They had to lean into discomfort to ask for help and learn new skills, while kids today leverage their phones for convenience and entertainment.
4. Waiting for their turn
According to clinical psychologist Gary Goldfield, avoiding compulsive and impulsive behaviors are often associated with delayed gratification, which is why it's so important for parents to teach their kids to appreciate it from a young age. Waiting their turn in line or waiting to buy something is a practice of delayed gratification, rather than expecting everyone and everything to appease them instantly.
In adulthood, it's these adult children who maintain better relationships, self-esteem, and financial habits, all because they understand the power of waiting.
5. Knowing how to apologize
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Teaching kids to apologize and take accountability often offers them space to learn social rules and responsibilities, according to a study from the Journal of Family Studies, which prompts better relationships and self-worth later in life.
Knowing how to apologize is a life skill, often reliant on a sense of self-assuredness and personal accountability that's hard to cultivate without parents crafting space in childhood to do so. Instead of getting defensive or avoiding hard conversations, kids from the 90s learned to apologize openly, even if it means leaning into challenges and discomfort for a few fleeting moments.
6. Doing chores without expecting anything in return
Kids who were expected to do household chores without receiving an allowance or praise in return likely have more self-discipline and responsibility today. They don't expect people to celebrate them for doing the bare minimum and having the skills needed to take care of themselves in their routines today.
They aren't entitled — feeling like they deserve praise, attention, or compensation for simply taking care of themselves — and they form better relationships and self-worth because of it. As a study from Harvard University explains, it sets kids up for future professional success and happiness to equip them with these tools and mindsets early.
7. Waiting for the things they want
According to a study from the Journal of Marketing Research, waiting can often encourage people to exercise self-control, reducing impulsive behaviors and protecting long-term goals. Whether it's keeping a wishlist instead of buying things online immediately or waiting in line and regulating personal discomfort, teaching kids to wait for the things they want is a superpower in today's convenience-focused world.
While kids today may expect things immediately, develop entitlement, and struggle to regulate their emotions without distractions, adults who grew up in the 90s are appreciative of delayed gratification.
8. Accepting and mediating disappointment
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Disappointment is an important emotion, even if it's not always comfortable, helping kids to form their emotional and social identity over time. That's why offering these moments of discomfort to kids and giving them the tools to mediate the feelings on their own can ensure they grow up to be emotionally regulated adults, compared to parents who try to solve and protect their kids from every "bad" emotion.
It's one of the forgotten expectations of 90s kids that actually taught responsibility, whereas many kids today expect other people to solve everything for them immediately in the face of a challenge.
9. Respecting adults
While the "respect your elders" expectations have largely been criticized today in the face of empowerment and mental health, respecting adults and authority is largely one of the forgotten expectations of 90s kids that actually taught responsibility. From teachers to parents, these kids were taught to regulate their own emotions and learn to sit with discomfort to show respect.
Of course, there's a line between respect and tolerating misbehavior, but for most parents, teaching kids to respect adults leads to more productive, healthy relationships in places like schools and workplaces.
10. Learning independence and problem-solving skills
While many parents in the 90s leaned into more supportive and attentive parenting styles than their authoritative parents did, they weren't entirely overprotective. They let their kids fill their own boredom, do things for themselves, and engage in unsupervised play without constantly playing a role in their entertainment.
These kids had to learn independence and problem-solving skills on their own time, without constantly relying on their parents to fix every problem and mediate every moment of discomfort.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor's degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
