Best Friends To Strangers: How Motherhood Altered The Course Of My Precious Friendship

I remember when we shared everything with each other — now I learn important updates on social media.

woman with baby and woman sad on phone ORION PRODUCTION | GaudiLab | Shutterstock

As I hunched over my phone, fingers swiping across the screen, I couldn't help but take stock of my less-than-glamorous attire. The well-worn black sweatpants clung comfortably to my legs, their faded color bearing witness to countless days of toddler-induced chaos. My feet were adorned in a pair of mismatched socks, each one a testament to the elusive nature of laundry day.

I was draped in the soft folds of an oversized graphic tee that bore the splattered remnants of my toddler's lunchtime escapades. The telltale marks of applesauce adorned my shirt, a badge of honor from earlier attempts at a meal. While scrolling through the curated moments of others' lives, a quiet ache settled in my chest.


My gaze lingered on a single photograph. There amidst the curated scenes of domestic bliss, she appeared. The woman who had once been one of my closest confidantes, cradling a tiny miracle in her arms. A pang of feeling insignificant brushed against my heart accompanied by the delicate touch of a fading connection.

I remember when we shared everything with each other from sunup to sundown. We never had to get important news or snapshots of our lives from our social media accounts.

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The poignant verses of Selena Gomez's soul-stirring ballad, "People You Know," seeped from the corners of my mind, adding a soundtrack to this moment of realization. The lyrics, imbued with a bittersweet melody, painted a portrait of fleeting connections and the ever-evolving nature of relationships.


We used to be close, but people can go

From people you know to people you don't

And what hurts the most is people can go

From people you know to people you don't

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To My Dear Friend, 

I recall a time when we were inseparable, our bond unbreakable.

From the first light of dawn to the last whispers of night, we shared every detail of our lives. There was no need to rely solely on social media for updates or snapshots; we were each other's living diaries.

Now we barely text. We never talk on the phone now, and we haven't seen each other since you became a mom for the first time.

I often wonder, was it when you became a mom or our struggles with depression that distanced us? Your post-partum blues combined with my battle with life's challenges while raising three kids solo — did they change us?


I understand, truly. The path to motherhood is a winding one, and I embarked on it a decade before you did. I've felt the weight of it all — the delicate dance of tending to little ones, nurturing your family, honoring your own needs, and sustaining a career, all while striving to keep a vibrant social life afloat. It's a symphony of responsibilities, one that often seems impossible to conduct flawlessly.

Motherhood is no walk in the park.

Hmm. I think that would make a cool graphic tee. Perhaps I'll search for it on Etsy. Who knows, maybe the seller will be a fellow mama, navigating the ups and downs of motherhood, and trying to make ends meet while feeling the distance grow with old friends.

But here's the thing, no mom has it all figured out. We're not meant to. We're learning as we go, finding our way through the beautiful chaos of motherhood each day. And that, my dear friend, is perfectly okay. I hope you know that.


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I miss you. Do you miss me too?

I wonder if, deep down, that heartstring of our friendship still quietly thrums, even in the face of change. Our shared history, the laughter that echoed through the years, and the battles we weathered together — they're the threads that wove our story. 

Maybe, in recognizing our individual struggles, we can find our way back to the heart of our enduring friendship.


Or perhaps what once was can never be fully revived. If that's the case, I genuinely wish you all the happiness and success that life has in store for you, even if I'm no longer a part of your world to share in it.

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Octavia Ever After is a versatile writer, designer and digital artist. She loves weaving stories and visuals that captivate hearts and minds. She's had articles featured in YourTango, Yvon Lux, The Modern Woman, and Medium.