9 Annoying Things Parents Do At High School Games That Make Their Kids Miserable
Drazen Zigic | Shutterstock Despite the majority of kids playing sports early in life, by age 15 almost 80% have quit.
While there are all kinds of social, personal, and even financial reasons why kids decide to stop playing sports in high school, especially in the modern world, sometimes, it's actually their parents' behavior that makes the biggest difference. People notice the annoying things parents do at high school games that make their kids miserable, and may play a role in their decision to walk away entirely.
Here are 9 annoying things parents do at high school games that make their kids miserable
1. They argue with referees
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There's a reason why so many schools and coaches are now prepared to set boundaries before the start of games or seasons. They've dealt with the kind of parents who feel entitled to arguments and screaming matches with referees and coaches anytime they want.
However, it's this kind of behavior that not only distracts people from the fun of a game but also puts their kids' well-being and performance at stake.
2. They yell obnoxiously loud
If you've been on a team or coached high school athletes, you know better than anyone that sometimes the parents can get heated. But there's a really specific kind of parent who's obnoxious on another level, screaming at coaches and disciplining their kid from the sidelines.
While parents can't help themselves sometimes, an alarming 2023 study reveals that constantly yelling at kids can have the same negative consequences as other forms of neglect and harsh punishment that we collectively condemn as a society. So, even if it's become normalized in a specific sport or team, or amongst other parents, this kind of behavior isn't doing anyone any good, especially the kids.
3. They hold their kids to unrealistic expectations
If a parent is constantly yelling at their kids and critiquing their behavior from the sidelines, their kids are almost always miserable. They feel like they can't make mistakes without being the center of attention on the field or court in all the worst ways. They have to cater to their parents' ego at the expense of their well-being.
On top of harming self-esteem and parent-child relationships, kids become more at risk for mental health struggles like depression when they become the victim of constant parental criticism, according to a study from Child Development. Even when it comes from a good, motivational place, holding kids to unrealistic expectations ironically makes them perform worse.
4. They barter with coaches for better playing time
The worst parents, especially for a coach of a high school team, are the ones who constantly barter for more playing time for their kids. Even when they're not putting in any work or earning their spot, these parents get instantly angry when their kids aren't getting the time in a game they think they deserve.
The worst part about this kind of parental behavior is that it takes so much autonomy away from young athletes and players. Instead of teaching their kids to be proactive about learning new skills and making themselves an asset to the team, they're teaching kids to feel entitled to playing time and special treatment, without actually putting in any hard work or effort.
5. They fight with parents on different teams
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While some parents are shifting away from hyper-competitive mentalities that hurt their kids' love for sports and community, some still can't help but fight and create scenes at their own kids' events. From fighting with coaches to arguing loudly with parents on the other side of the field, court, or pitch, they make everything about themselves.
They're annoying and disruptive, but they also make their kids miserable and embarrassed. They strip all the joy out of sports and instead make everything about winning and performing for validation and praise.
6. They let their phones or work distract them
As a study from Frontiers in Psychology explains, a parent's attitude and behaviors around their children's participation in sports can influence not only how a child feels while playing, but also their interest in staying involved and participating at all. So, if a parent is regularly scrolling through their email or walking out in the middle of a game, their kids notice.
Yes, it hurts their self-esteem and creates resentment before they have the words to verbalize those feelings, but it also makes them want to step away from the sport completely. Especially if their phone is always ringing or they're clearly disengaged, it becomes annoying for everyone.
7. They invalidate their kids' pain
If you've gone to a high school football game or watched a travel sports league with teenage players, you've heard phrases like "shake it off" or "you're fine" over and over again. Even when it's coming from a good place, this invalidation and dismissal of their kids' pain is one of the most annoying things parents can do at public games.
When their kids can't push through, there's an added layer of embarrassment they face that they should never have to worry about with their own parents. Of course, if it's a scrape on the knee or their kids need encouragement to persevere through discomfort, that's one thing. But if they're dismissing big injuries and feelings in favor of winning, that's toxic, to say the least.
8. They scream insults openly
Whether they're directed at coaches and other parents, or even their kids, parents who yell insults openly teach their kids to normalize disrespect. For most kids, it's also a point of contention and embarrassment when they're forced to play sports around a parent who can't control their emotions or regulate their feelings.
As a study shared by the Baylor College of Medicine explains, this kind of unruly behavior from parents can severely impact their children's mental health, both on and off the playing field. They're embarrassing them, but they're also feeding into a perfectionist narrative where anything less than winning isn't tolerated.
There's more pressure than there needs to be, which is why it's not surprising that so many kids quit sports more than they stick them out.
9. They try to coach from the sidelines
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Especially in competitive sports and travel leagues, you'll almost always get one parent who's trying to coach their kid, or worse, the entire team, from the sidelines. Not only are they confusing the players and annoying other parents, as well as disrespecting the coach, but they're usually only considering their own kids' success or playing time.
That's usually the difference between a good coach and that one parent on the sidelines. A good coach knows all of their players, including their strengths and weaknesses, and these types of parents only know and care about what they want from their own kids.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor's degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
