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Learn how to own your life!
By T-Ann Pierce — Written on Feb 06, 2018
Oprah tells us we can change our lives and we want to believe her.
But what if empowerment, high vibes, self-acceptance, self-confidence and inner peace are meant for someone else, but not us? What if we think we don’t have what it takes to Oprah our lives? What if we know there is something better for us, we just don’t know how to begin?
We watch Oprah’s interviews, and we feel empowered. We are inspired by her certainty. We listen to her speak and we are moved to tears.
She seems to knows what is possible for us, so why do we allow fear and doubt to cloud our minds and stop our progress? How do we get out of our own way?
We want what she has. How do we get there? These are the shortcuts:
1. Flood your brain with good juju.
If you need a quick fix to get yourself out of a funk or if you need a jolt of self-confidence or a quick dose of motivation, try the victory pose.
The victory pose is that universal thing we do when we win. We throw our arms up over our heads in the shape of a ‘V’. Hold that pose for three minutes. Holding that expansive pose can immediately make us feel more powerful, happier, more likely to take action and more energetic.
This is a free and easy shortcut to feeling motivated and confident. Try it. You’ll be amazed.
2. Smile.
Even if you have to fake a smile, smiling sends powerful messages, not only to other people but to your brain and even your cells. The brain is wired to look and focus on the negative in order to keep you safe (our caveman brains are always scanning for bears or rabid dogs and other dangers).
Smiling sends a signal to your brain that helps create a happiness-loop that encourages positive-thinking patterns. Smiling can release tension on a cellular level, too. Smiling is contagious, makes you look more attractive and even makes you appear more trustworthy to others.
Retrain your brain. Smile more often. Seriously. What do you have to lose?
3. Save yourself.
This is a tough pill to swallow, but no one is coming to save you. No one. In fact, no one can truly help you. The gateway to happiness cannot happen if you blame. In order to push forward into empowerment and self-acceptance, you must learn to take responsibility for yourself. 100 percent.
No blaming. No wishing. No waiting. No resenting. No bitterness. No "if only’s."
When you take complete control of your situation, your thoughts, your actions, your life, you will push forward. Yes, there are circumstances beyond your control. Yes, you’ve been wronged. Yes, life is unfair. Yes, your situation is dreadful. Yes, you have been hurt.
But use the past as fuel for your future. Take 100% responsibility for your life. Choose your thoughts and your actions carefully and purposefully. You’ve totally got this.
4. Say what you mean.
No one likes to have to mind read. No one likes it when someone uses wimpy language and cloudy communication. No one likes when someone mumbles or speaks meekly. Keeping yourself small and making your language unclear leads to frustration for everyone.
Learn to say what you mean. Own what you say. Not only will this make other people better equipped to work with you and understand exactly what you want, it will clear up gray areas in cooperation.
Instead of whispering, "If you have time, would you mind cleaning up after yourself? Is that okay?" say, "Please clean up after yourself, load the dishwasher and make sure the leftovers go into the fridge."
Direct communication makes you feel more empowered, allows others to be successful and, above all, it is honest. Oprah loves honesty.
5. Break down your goals.
We love Oprah for giving us permission to dream, but where do we begin when the dream seems impossibly far-fetched? You begin one bite at a time. Instead of focusing on the overwhelming goal, start with three, seemingly inconsequential things you can do each day to push closer to your dream.
Want to lose weight, feel strong and gain confidence? Start small. For instance, instead of jumping feet first into a strict diet and exercise regime that you may be likely to dump at the first sign of exhaustion or difficulties, start instead by reconnecting with your body and mind.
Three things you do each day to honor your body and mind may be to put on cute clothes, make a hair appointment, and spend time reading an inspirational book. The next day may include going for a walk, connecting with a friend, skipping cream in your coffee. The next day may be to look into a gym membership, asking a friend to walk at lunchtime, reducing the portion of one meal.
Small, manageable steps, perhaps three a day, put you on a path to success.
6. Be grateful.
Cultivating gratitude is like enrolling in Lifehack 101. Gratitude changes everything. Being grateful pulls us out of our own heads and tosses us into a world of hidden beauty. Being grateful reduces materialism and the soul-sucking pursuit of meaningless "stuff."
Gratitude makes us less self-centered. It helps us focus on others and not just our needs and wants and complaints. Gratitude makes us healthier, allowing us to sleep better, reduce blood pressure, have increased energy and it can even reduce symptoms of aches, pains, and worries.
Need more reason? The more grateful you are the more decisive and effective you are in the workplace. Yep. You got it. Cultivating gratitude even helps you like your job more and can help you attain your career goals more easily.
7. Give up.
Yep. In order to reach our dreams, we have got to learn how to give up, surrender and let go. It is part of the process. We are obsessive control freaks by nature. We want what we want and we want it now. We have dreams, and we want them realized by two o’clock Tuesday... or we feel hopeless.
Get clear on your dream, work hard, hustle, connect, reach, fire like lightning in all directions. Then, let go. Give it space. Let it breathe. There is grace in working hard and then allowing the seeds you’ve planted to take root.
Often, there is something waiting for you that is bigger and better than you could ever imagine. When you hold your dreams in tightly clenched hands, your dream cannot develop. Unclench. Surrender your dream to a power greater than your own. That isn’t giving up. That is keeping the dream alive.
Living an Oprah life is possible for all of us, no matter where we are in our lives. Oprah doesn’t expect us to have all the answers before we start. She doesn’t expect it to be easy or even look pretty.
Oprah wants us to succeed. To start small. To keep going. To dream. To hold ourselves accountable. Come on. You’ve totally got this. Let’s get started.
T-Ann Pierce is a transformational life and mindset coach, who helps her clients tweak their perspectives so they can begin loving the lives they are living. If you still have questions about injecting your life with empowerment, joy, meaning, and peace, contact her at 847.730.7531 or drop her a note at T-AnnPierce.com.