Confessions Of A Real-Life Matchmaker — Why He Never Called You Back

Photo: stockfour / Shutterstock
5 TRUE Matchmaker Stories Explain Why Guys Never Call Back

As a matchmaker to the rich and famous, I can tell you that I have incredible clients. I really enjoy most of my clients and think they are wonderful people and great catches. They are good looking, educated, successful people, and they are a ton of fun to be around.

You might ask me why, if they are so great, are they still single and in need of my help?

Well, sometimes, there just isn’t enough time in the day to weed through all those online dating profiles.

Other times, they are too tired after a long hard day to put themselves together for a night out on the town where they might meet someone special. Working too hard means that you lack a social life and your dating pool dries up.

All in all, most have the time to date, just not the time to find someone to date.

When I was new at matchmaking, I must admit I didn’t always know what I know now.

So, occasionally a client would slip in that is single for a different reason altogether

When I met these wonderful people's pickier alter egos, I couldn’t quite go to another matchmaker and ask them how they would handle it. Sometimes, you just have to figure it out yourself in this business.

What I found is that clients can be doing something that is keeping them single. Or you might say, they aren’t doing something – like asking you out for a 2nd date when they should.

And the reason is nothing more than because they are just too damn picky.

It’s really my worst nightmare when I have one of these clients and I can’t help them change their limiting behavior.

Clients that are this picky aren’t likely to initially recognize just how crazy their behavior has become much less that it’s holding them back. 

What it means for the average, non-famous, single person out there is that there are a TON of reasons why someone never called you back.

Really, fate just stepped in and saved you and you didn’t even know it.

I am not talking about having standards. There is nothing wrong with standards.

It’s these crazy expectations that I can spot a mile away these days.  When I get a whiff of that, I will not take you on as a client. I can’t wave my magic wand and help you.

You will treat my matches the same way you treat your perceived less-than-perfect dates.

Sure, you think you need me, but you really need to lose the ridiculous expectations.

In this day of instant gratification, the expectations of a first date seem to be a bit much.

Of course, I will just tell you my client list is on a wait, so therefore I cannot take you on. It just isn’t on a 3 year wait list! I just don’t know of a more polite way to say, “ Sorry, but I refuse to work with crazy for the next 6 months”. 

Oh, the drama!

Once, when one of clients had his girlfriend that I matched him with break up with him, he went nuts. He said he had never been talked to that way before ever… and she'd only said,  “ I don’t want to date you anymore”.

He just couldn’t believe it. He had never been dumped. I was like,” yes, she broke up with you, deal with it". All the other women just said what you wanted to hear to get to your wallet. She doesn’t care about your money. He carried on so bad, I threatened to dump him as a client, too.

You would have thought I fixed him up with a woman that was verbally abusive to him.

Very often, I hit a match dead on with the first date for a client and they ride off into the sunset.

For other clients, it’s a little farther down the road and it takes getting to know each other more.

As I said, when I first started as a matchmaker, I made mistakes and failed to adjust a client’s expectations.

I didn’t realize some people just won’t give love a chance!

Now I know better.

The following situations are real life examples of feedback I heard from clients after their date.

I am sure you went out with people with some of the same limiting beliefs and now you know why they “just weren’t that into you”.

So, you can see, it really isn’t something you did or didn’t do. Sometimes, it’s just them.

On another note, if you recognize this type of behavior in yourself, it’s extreme and it’s the thing that is keeping you single. Don’t go on another date until you get your expectations in order because you are wasting everyone’s time.

You are also passing up a lot of potential love and happiness in your life.

1. She reminded me of my cousin.

Yes, I heard this from one of my favorite clients about another favorite client. Truth was, she did remind him of his cousin. His cousin wasn’t exciting, fun, or interesting. His cousin was quite a dull and boring lady by his account.

He projected all these qualities on to his date and didn’t ask her out for a 2nd date.

He missed out. She is fabulous. He did like her cleavage, so we will give him credit for not pursuing her for the wrong reasons

 We all have a tendency to project qualities on someone if they remind you of someone. Do yourself a favor and stop now.

2. His date was a size 10...

...And he said he works with people like that, but he doesn’t  want to date people that are a size 10.


What the hell is wrong with people?

Do I need to say any more about this one?

Yes, my clients look for extremely attractive women, but this boils down to just plain ridiculous.

3. He actually said, “I can tell whether I am attracted to them in the first 5 seconds”.

Let me start by saying, I know that most of you think you know whether your dates looks good in the first 5 seconds, but that wasn't the problem.

He loved her looks. She was a tall gorgeous, blonde.

It was when she spoke to him to greet him. Something went wrong at “Hello”.

Folks, you need to give it more time really. Just sayin!

4. “He wasn’t tall enough”.

Of course I have heard this one before. Women all want a guy that is 6ft or over.

Yay!  You have narrowed it down to about 13% of the male population.

What really gets to me is when I hear you say that when you slip your heels on you are taller than him.

WHO CARES?!?!?!?

Really, if you are 5’9” and slip on heels, you are taller than 87 % of the guys out there with your 3-inch heels.  

Are you really letting a few inches get in the way of a lifetime of happiness?

Keep going out with the idiots that break your heart and maybe one day, a short, fat, and funny guy will make you laugh when your ovaries are about dried up. You will only realize then that you missed out all the joy a great love has to offer.

5. “He didn’t stand up like a gentleman when I went to the ladies room”.

I saved the best for last.

I actually didn’t even know that was still considered the polite thing to do!

He held open the door, walked her to the car, and was otherwise very chivalrous. That's not enough???

Really, 1940 is calling and they want you back. You must be the only person who would stab a promising relationship to death over this one, honey.

Subscribe to YourTango's newsletter to keep up with us for FREE

- Our best articles delivered straight to your inbox
- The latest in entertainment and news
- Daily horoscopes and love advice

If you're looking for a matchmaker, look no further than Susan Trombetti, CEO of Exclusive Matchmaking. You can also join our 2017 dating bootcamp and hear some of the same dating tips she gives to her upscale clients. This year's bootcamp features ABC's most watched bachelor, Chris Soules.