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My Ex Ghosted Me On Halloween...With A Ghost Cake

Photo: getty
 Breakup Story About How I Was Ghosted By Someone I Was Dating With A Ghost Cake
Heartbreak

It was definitely not a Halloween treat.

What’s worse than a breakup, worse than being ghosted, and worse than being dumped on Halloween? Apparently, my life.

On Halloween, I was ghosted...with a ghost cake.

What is ghosting? It has nothing to do with Halloween or actual ghosts. Instead, it is “the practice of suddenly ending all contact with a person without explanation, especially in a romantic relationship.” And being ghosted is not fun for anyone.

To start off, I had no clue that anything had gone wrong. Our last text was normal: friendly, funny, inviting, as usual. The next thing I know, I don’t hear from him for the better part of the day, which was something pretty unusual for him.

So I checked in to see if he was OK. No answer.

Well, we’ve all been here before, right? He could be sleeping, at the movies, maybe his dog got sick or he dropped his cellphone in the toilet. We learn not to overreact after we’ve been burned by our own behavior a few times.

RELATED: Why Being Ghosted Was The Best Thing To Ever Happen To You

So I went about my day.

Four hours later and still no response, again, from a person with whom my last interaction was absolutely normal. 

So, I got a little worried. Was he ok? Did he need assistance? Was he in a ditch somewhere?

So I texted again. Still, I tried to keep it on a very chill level — what if he just fell asleep and had no idea I was trying to contact him?

I asked, "Are you OK?" To which I got no answer...again.

Now, I was starting to get a little irritated. I didn't know what was going on or why he wasn't answering. I didn't know if I was supposed to be worrying or if I was supposed to be getting the message that he was ghosting me by intentionally not answering me to let me know that he wanted me to go away.

I didn't have the time or the patience for this, it was just so third-grade. I was completely annoyed at this point. A half hour went by and it was now 9 pm and our last communication was 10 am — not even close to our usual pattern.

Being both worried and frustrated with a lack of information, I decided that I’d prefer to have something rather than nothing to help me make sense of it. I made a conscious choice to text again: "Hey. I’m a bit worried about you. If you’re ok and getting my texts could you just text something back? A thumbs up emoji or something? After that I don’t need anything from you. I really just want to know if you are ok?"

Three... two... one... a photo of a cake appeared on my phone — a cake that said "Happy Halloween!" in bright orange letters. It had ghosts made out of icing in different colors flying in all different directions.

After that, I heard nothing. Ever. Again.

The next day, I was at lunch with one of my best friends.

'How was Halloween?" she asked.

I told her the story, in vivid detail, of the day before. I watched her process the information and take it all in. I saw it register. Then, her face turned bright red and she screamed, "Oh my god! You were ghosted by a ghost cake!"

The restaurant went quiet and everyone turned to look at me — the girl who was ghosted with a ghost cake. My friend had her head down and was laughing so hard that tears spilled onto the restaurant table.

I was so embarrassed. I looked up at the people still looking at me and turned back to my friend. She obviously could have made her announcement a lot quieter.

"Well,” I said defensively. "If I was going to get ghosted, at least I was special enough to get a ghost cake. Who else gets a ghost cake when they’re getting dumped?"

She looked at me, deliberating this, and then nodded her head. "Right," she said. "Everyone else just gets ignored. You didn’t actually get a cake. You got a picture of one. But that’s pretty damn awesome." She was still laughing as she declared, "Only you would get ghosted with a ghost cake."

We both smiled and laughed and I began to see the humor in this ghosting situation. It was kind of funny.

RELATED: How The Smartest Women Respond To Men Who Show Up Again After Ghosting Them

That weekend, we were all out to dinner, my friend, myself, and eight more of our closest friends.

"Ask Susan about her Halloween!" my friend yelled out before we even ordered anything to drink.

The entire table turned to me to hear about my Halloween. Several days have gone by now and I have processed this crazy story myself — or at least to the best of my own ability. I proudly announced that I was ghosted with a ghost cake.

Everyone stopped moving, stopped settling in, stopped looking at their drink menus, and looked up to hear my story. By the time I was done retelling my spooky Halloween tale, we were making a scene in a very nice restaurant. We were laughing, screaming, and everyone is yelling at the same time about a ghost cake.

You just can’t make this stuff up!

Not many people know how to respond to ghosting or even how to get over someone who decided to ghost then. For most people, being ghosted leads to heartbreak. 

Meanwhile, in my case, the picture of the cake has become a symbol between my friends and me. It has now circulated among all of our phones at least five times. On bad days, on good, at random moments in time, one of us will get a ghost cake photo text with no words.

It’s become a statement between us that we had the last laugh, that we have the ability to see the humor in life, and that this ridiculous gesture became the gift that keeps on giving. Who breaks up with someone by sending them a photo of a cake? He did. I have the photo to prove it. And one of the best breakup stories ever!

Do you think you have a good breakup story too? Then share it!

Let’s celebrate the mistakes that we avoided and remember that laughing at life can be really fun too. As long as we are still here to laugh, as long as no one got hurt, as long as we can unite and remember that we need to build a better tomorrow for everyone who still needs us.

RELATED: If You're Going To Freaking Ghost Someone, At Least Do It The Right Way

Susan Sparks is a twenty year victim and six year Survivor Of Domestic Abuse (SODA®). She has written a book about her experiences with domestic abuse, Sparks in Love, which she hopes will serve as both an educational and cautionary tale to everyone who reads it. She is the Principal of four enterprises, and one charity, The SODA Fund, all dedicated to helping people avoid, understand, and prevent domestic abuse. 

This article was originally published at Medium. Reprinted with permission from the author.

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