How To Meet Women — And What To Say When You Do
Expert tips on where to go and how to start conversations when you get there.
Seth Doyle on Unsplash Fellas, isn’t online dating exhausting!
Even though an estimated 40 million singles in the United States have turned to online dating, several studies have shown that there are more men than women on most dating sites and apps, so don’t be discouraged if you prefer meeting someone the old fashioned way, face to face.
If you want to know how to meet single women you'd like to date, you just have to know where to go and what to say when to get the conversation rolling when you get there.
One thing is certain, the smaller the pool, the more patient and strategic you will have to be if you want to land that first date.
Even if you begin your conversation with a corny line, or something witty and funny keep these three things in mind: be friendly, be confident and be polite.
Here are my tips on where and how to meet single women, plus what you can say to get the conversation started when you do.
1. Sign up for a class
Whether it’s a cooking class, or an educational type class, men and women alike love taking classes when they're not only about learning, but also about bonding with people who share the same interests.
If you see a woman who catches your eye, go up to her and say something like, “I really enjoyed the question you asked. It really made me think.”
That will show her both you see her as intelligent and that you were paying attention to what she had to say.
2. Head to the gym
You will have to tread lightly in your approach here. The gym is a great place to meet women if you want a woman that’s into staying fit, but remember that is her primary motive for being there is to exercise, not to get hit on, stared at, or approached by some guy with sweat dripping all over him.
If you see a woman you would like to meet taking a class at the gym, find the right opportunity to ask her something along the lines of, “I’m considering taking this class. What do you like about the instructor?”
3. Volunteer at a local charity you care about
This is a great way to give back to your community and meet someone new at the same time. Non-profit organizations are always looking for volunteers who are passionate about their mission and carrying it forward.
When you’re on a snack break or after the event is over, take a moment to ask, “What is it about the mission that caused you to get involved here?”
This will help you see what she is passionate about. It’s deeper than asking about something on the surface.
I caution you to make sure you've done your research on the organization and that it's one you do care about, because she will assume you’re there only because you have the same passion. You don’t want sound ridiculous.
4. Have fun at happy hour
The good ‘ole happy hour is still an excellent way to meet people. Usually, it’s a little more casual than going to the bar or a club on the weekends. And who doesn’t need to unwind after work?
Definitely introduce yourself and ask, “Would you mind if I bought you and your friends a drink?”
More than likely, she won’t be alone, and offering to buy drinks for her friends as well shows that you’re conscientious and generous.
5. Join a coed sports team
Coed sports are an excellent way to meet women because it combines physical activity and social interaction all in one event.
Every time you have a game, you can always talk about a specific play or her skills on the field.
After a game, you can ask the woman you'd like to date, “How did you like that ridiculous play I made? I hope you weren’t laughing as hard as I was.”
This will help you see if she has a sense of humor, and it will show her that you have one, too.
6. Hang out at your friendly dog park
People are always passionate about their dogs. You just to have to be within earshot to find a good topic of conversation and make sure your Fifi doesn’t bite her Fido.
Ask her about the breed of dog she has, or if the dog is well groomed, ask her which groomer she prefers.
7. Chill out in coffee shops
Your neighborhood coffee shop is like chill happy hour. Folks enjoy their coffee just as much as their signature drink at the bar.
Once again, introduce yourself, and if she is reading a book ask, “I heard about that book. What do you think of it?”
Making sure the woman is relaxed and comfortable is key.
8. Go to networking events
A networking event in your industry is good place to meet people, but you must assess if the person you're interested in is completely focused on advancing in their career or if she may be open to exchanging business cards.
Women will have their guard up because this is where men will usually brag about their excellence in business, and where many men have a tendency to forget their in a professional environment when it comes to talking with a woman they find attractive.
Ask her something like, “Did you meet the person who’s going to make you a millionaire, yet?” If she says no, you can offer back, “Me neither, but at least we’ll have fun together.”
Something funny or interesting does well in these situations when you are trying to separate yourself from the pack.
In all instances, taking the laid back approach and asking the questions is the most likely way to get her number so you can ask her for that first date.
Always be respectful, and remember no means no in all situations. Do not push if she hesitates or seems in any way uninterested or uncomfortable.
Don’t forget to have fun, be confident and smile.
When you smile and enjoy the moment you will make a good impression.
Keith Dent is a relationship coach and the author of In The Paint: How to Win the Game of Love. If you are struggling with approaching and taking to women, contact him via email for a free consultation.
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