Photo: Joshua Rawson-Harris | Unsplash
Commitment maintains the desire to make the relationship work.
By Esther Bilbao
Last updated on Jan 23, 2024
Fear of commitment might be keeping you in a cycle of unhealthy relationships. You could have a commitment phobia.
Some individuals have a fear of commitment to having a long-term romantic partner. They commonly experience emotional and mental distress when they face a situation that requires them to give dedication to someone.
How would you know if you have commitment issues?
Here are 6 painfully honest signs your commitment issues are keeping you single:
1. You find it hard to commit in other areas of your life
People who have difficulties committing to a person or in a relationship generally experience mental and emotional distress when faced with a situation where they need to be dedicated, and dedication requires them to stick around for a long period.
Your commitment phobia may lead you to willingly and unwillingly reject or avoid opportunities that come into your life.
2. You keep falling for the wrong people
Do you feel you are always picking the wrong person? The reason why most women fall for the wrong person is because of commitment issues.
They either fall for people who are unavailable because they subconsciously know those types are not into long-term relationships. They might even be attracted to people with commitment issues because they subconsciously know they feel the same way about being in a relationship.
3. You are always indecisive with your new partner
You cannot stick with or make any decision about your relationship. You easily lose interest in your partner and avoid them.
You are also unsure if you are happy in your relationship or if you should make a change. Thus, you drag your partner out of your life and break up quickly.
4. You have a fear of being left alone
The fear of abandonment is a probable result of childhood loss or trauma, past relationships, and experiences in life.
As a result, the impact of this fear in your relationship will cause you to be hesitant to commit to a relationship. You jump from one relationship to another, then move on quickly to avoid being emotionally attached to a person.
You also find it difficult to have emotional intimacy with your partner.
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5. You only engage in casual hookups
There are several reasons why women engage in casual relationships or hookups. Some women are goal-oriented and focus much of their time working rather than a serious relationship.
Some women are in a post-breakup phase and are not ready to get into a serious relationship. Whatever the reason is, it only shows you don’t want to be tied down to anyone.
6. You’ve convinced yourself that commitment is something you don’t want
This is an obvious sign of commitment phobia because you have a lot of bad things to say about relationships and a lot of good things to say about being single.
You justify that being in a relationship is not as good as being single because you don't want a relationship.
You also tend to end your relationships with silly excuses like your partner is a noisy eater or they are too good for you, and you don’t deserve your partner.
The reason why you do this is you doubt yourself. You are scared to admit the problem is you, so you've convinced yourself your partner is not the one for you.
Love, trust, communication, and commitment are the foundation of a long-term relationship.
Commitment is the dedication you give to someone. You are willing to give your time and effort to someone because they are important to you.
In healthy relationships, you are ready to do anything to stand firm on the decision and promise you have made to yourself and the person who is important to you so you can maintain the level and quality of your relationship.
Most people in a relationship see commitment as a good thing because it creates a bond with a person and helps them maintain the desire to make their relationship work for the foreseeable future.
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Esther Bilbao helps mentor women to have better relationships, health, and personal development.