7 New Year’s Resolutions To Be A Better Lover In 2021

Photo: getty
happy woman in bed
Sex

When you're thinking about your New Year's resolutions for 2021, make sure to add "learn how to be a better lover" to the list.

Not only will 2021 be the year where you're happier, healthier, and more sensual than ever before, you can truly love yourself and teach someone else how to love you, physically and emotionally.

It's time to put you first and treat yourself as if you're madly in love with you!

RELATED: The Number One Secret To Great Sex You Need To Know

Here are 7 New Year's resolutions on how to be a better lover so you achieve more fulfillment and sexual satisfaction.

1. Make love to yourself.

Self-love begins with loving the skin you're in, and that includes self-pleasuring.

Think of masturbation as loving yourself so much that you make it a priority to have an orgasm regularly in 2021, even if you have to schedule it in your calendar.

If you’re single, treat yourself to a sex toy, such as the Womanizer for women and the Hot Octopuss for men.

If you’re in a relationship, tell your partner that you want to engage in mutual masturbation and get a sex toy you can both use at the same time, such as the We-Vibe.

Giving the precious gift of self-love and self-acceptance is key to living a healthy sex life, whether you are single or in a relationship.

Try the Loving Kindness Meditation, below.

2. Set the mood for love.

Take the time to set the mood for love by stimulating all your senses before making love. If you’re single, do it for yourself before self-pleasuring to relax and get yourself in the mood.

Sight: Dim the lights or use colored fabric to drape over lampshades, candles, use a blindfold, wear lingerie or pose in front of a mirror, tidy up your place, pretend a VIP is coming to visit, turn your bedroom into a romantic boudoir.

Scent: Surround yourselves with your favorite scents — scented candles, flowers, incense, Potpourri, cinnamon, orange, essential oils (like lavender), fragrance, donuts, or popcorn.

Sound: Put on your favorite music, talk erotically to your partner — tell them what you're going to do next sexually, incorporate nature sounds, or listen to a meditation together.

Taste: Snack on fruit and chocolate. Feed each other finger foods. Don't forget water, tea, or wine.

Touch: Wear leather, lace, faux fur, feathers, silk lotions, oils, or powder. Touch each other's fingertips, hair, mouth, or tongue. You can also take a shower or have a bubble bath together.

Here’s a manifestation meditation you can do alone or together.

3. Discover your lover’s erogenous zones.

Erogenous zones are areas of the body with a heightened sensitivity that evoke a sexual response, and we all have them.

You can take your partner’s breath away by using your own breath to stimulate their erogenous zones before you make love.

From head to toe, blow your cool breath with pursed lips around their ears, followed by your warm breath with open lips around their neck, and work your way down their body very slowly, exploring every inch.

Ask your lover to rate their erogenous zones for you from one to 10, with 10 being orgasmic. You only need to memorize the ones that are seven and above.

Then, follow your breath by using your tongue, your hair, and fingertips to make your partner feel loved and desired. Another way to explore your lover’s erogenous zones is to give a nuru massage or an erotic full-body massage.

4. Explore your partner’s sexual fantasies.

Each person has their own pot of sexual inhibitions brewing, so help your partner to express their sexual needs through roleplaying.

By sharing erotic fantasies and roleplaying them, you can rekindle passion, boost intimacy, and turn predictable sex into adult play.

The goal is for the two of you to experience as many roleplaying characters as you can — from stripper and customer to a dominant and submissive.

Acting out each other’s fantasies will give you a better understanding of what the other wants and needs. So, help your partner to lose their inhibitions by initiating these fantasy games.

If you're single, ask yourself what you would do sexually if you were 10 times bolder! For more sexy games, get The Sexy Little Book of Sex Games.

RELATED: People With This Personality Trait Have A Better Sex Life

5. Have some "love" foods.

Diets are one of the most common New Year's resolutions. Instead of depriving yourself of comfort foods, just cut down on them — and add some "love" foods that are good for your sexual well-being.

Subscribe to our newsletter.

Join now for YourTango's trending articles, top expert advice and personal horoscopes delivered straight to your inbox each morning.

You may be interested to know that many vegetables and fruits that happen to look like male or female sex organs are also aphrodisiacs.

Based on shape alone, asparagus, bananas, carrots, celery, cucumbers, dates, figs, peaches, mango, and tomatoes can boost libido and help you eat more healthy meals.

If you’re a seafood lover, then here's some good news for you — seafood can boost your sex drive. A study in the JCEM found that couples who ate more fish had sex more frequently.

If you have a partner, try feeding each other finger foods sensually, or put some tasty sweets like honey or chocolate on your partner’s body and lick it off.

If you’re single, try mindful eating by taking small bites and chewing slowly before taking another bite. The slower you eat, the fewer calories you intake, and the more you can lose weight.

6. Take part in "sexycises."

How many times have you made a resolution to do more exercise and discipline yourself for the New Year? This time can be different.

Top experts in the sexual health and pleasure field demonstrate how to stay connected on the journey to sexual fitness and satisfaction using the blended energies of yin and yang yoga.

Poses range from playful to passionate, with mental, physical, emotional, spiritual, and sexual benefits for individuals and couples. There are six levels of poses, Level 1 and 2 beginner, 3 and 4 intermediate, 5 and 6 advanced, so there’s something for everyone.

The health benefits include flexibility, strength, balance, greater muscle tone, and improved energy and vitality.

7. Take a class from a Love Coach.

If there’s one thing we know for sure, it’s that there’s always something new to learn, even about love, romance, intimacy, and sex.

Add all these to your New Year’s resolutions, and you’ve got everything you need to make 2021 your year for sexual growth!

RELATED: 14 Health Benefits Of Sex To Get You In The Mood

Loveology University® was created to provide programs of study for adults considering careers in love coaching, relationship coaching, or sexual health and pleasure. Their mission is to certify Love Coaches, Relationship Experts, and Master Sexperts through unique training, and prepare them to make a significant contribution to professional work in the field.