5 Sex Secrets Your Man Is Keeping (But WANTS You To Figure Out ASAP)

Photo: WeHeartIt
sex secrets

Believe it or not, there really are aspects of sex that your man will almost never talk to you about.

So, today I want to explain these sex secrets to you so that you can better understand your man's wants and needs. 

1. Yes, he does want you to act like a crazy pornstar, BUT ... 

There is a stereotype floating around in popular culture that all guys want their girlfriend or wife to act like a sex-crazed pornstar. The funny thing is that for 90 percent of guys, this really is TRUE! But this comes with one very crucial caveat.

They do want you to act like a sex-crazed pornstar, but only every once in a while. (Like, once a week, once every two weeks or even just once every couple of months.)

Perhaps you even feel the same about your man? Perhaps you wish that every once in a while he could really 'bring the fire' in the bedroom?

Now, when I say, 'sex-crazed pornstar', I really just mean being more passionate, enthusiastic, and amorous with your man than usual. So how can you bring the passion? Here are a few tips:

  • Initiate : If your man is the one that usually initiates sex, then surprise him very once in a while and put the moves on him first. Initiate oral sex or kiss him extra seductively. 
  • Use sex toysAnother great way to spice things up is to add some sex toys to your sex life. This can start out with something as simple as massage oil, but don't stop there. Toys like vibrators, dildos and even restraints can really heat things up, too.
  • Dress up for him: I probably don't even have to mention this (I'm not even sure this classifies as a sex secret), but guys are massively turned on visually. So, use this to your advantage. If you usually wear pajamas or other 'regular' night wear, why not try out something sexier, slinkier and more revealing. It's one of the easiest and quickest ways to turn your man on, especially if he's not expecting it.
  • Talk Dirty: Talking dirty to your man is a fantastic way to make sex way, way hotter. Being explicit isn't required. Expand your comfort zone gradually here. Your man will love your for it.  

2. They like it when you take control, BUT ...

Most women prefer when their man takes control and 'calls the shots' in the bedroom. Having surveyed over 2,000 women, I can confirm this. And anecdotally, men usually prefer being the ones 'calling the shots'. Reading this, it sounds like men and women are perfectly suited to each other. They are. However...

Most guys like it, from time to time, when their girlfriend or wife is the one in control, 'calling the shots', moving them into the next position and even being the one talking dirty. Not all the time, but around 10 percent of the time is perfect to keep things interesting. You may feel a bit nervous at the idea of trying this, but once you do, and you see how well your man responds to it, you'll be so glad you did.

3. Guys don't always get hard right away

One sex secret that many women get confused by is men and erectile dysfunction. Some women think that men have no problem getting hard 100 percent of the time. They think an erection is just going to happen no matter what. Well, for most guys under 40, it's almost never a problem. However, guys affected by stress, who feel nervous, who just had an orgasm, or are just feeling under the weather can find it difficult achieving and maintaining an erection.

What I am getting at with this particular sex secret is actually two things. First, 99 percent of the time it's not the woman's fault if her man can't get an erection, so PLEASE don't think it's an issue with you. Second, remember your man may feel super self-conscious if he's having trouble getting an erection. So, the best thing to do is to not make a big deal of it. Even if he starts making a big deal about it,  just act like it's no biggie.

4. Guys hate when you act like a starfish

I know the first sex secret I revealed is about being a 'sex-crazed pornstar' every once in a while for your man. And maybe you aren't totally comfortable with that idea. That's fine, not everyone is. However, one thing that you absolutely must avoid is being a 'starfish' for your man.

Imagine a starfish in the ocean right now. When you look at it, what is it doing? Pretty much just lying there, staying where it is, almost completely still. Lying in bed and barely moving will destroy your sex life with your man. So, if there's one thing you take from these sex secrets it's to never just lie there. Get involved — it's incredibly sexy if you do.

5. They really can't read your mind 

This last sex secret is important if you want to keep your sex life interesting and fun for both of you. You see, men are terrible at picking up on the signs that there's something wrong or even picking up on the signs on how you're feeling. So, rather than hope your man understands what you want, need or how you're feeling, it's far more effective to be direct about it.

The notion "Praise what you want to see more of" works well with men. So, if there is a position or technique you love, or something he does when kissing you that you like, don't be afraid to explicitly say so with praise: "I love it when you do that" or "That is so dam hot!"

Visit Sean Jameson's website for his videos on dirty talking techniques and blow job tips