How To Spice Up Your Boring Sex Life In 3 Simple Steps (You're Welcome)

It's really easy and oh, so much fun!

How To Spice Up Your Sex Life With 3 Simple (And Sexy) Tips Danny Kekspro on Unsplash

Learning how to spice up your sex life is far easier than you think.

It's not always a case of delving into kinky sex ideas like going to your local sex shop (or online) and buying whips, chains, handcuffs, and all other sorts of bondage equipment. (You certainly can if that is what you're into, but it's not always necessary.)

There are actually a lot of simple new things you can try in the bedroom with your man, that will work just as effectively to help you have great sex without you needing to "go off the deep end."


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Let me share my three best expert tips on how to spice up your sex life with some new things to try in the bedroom.

1. Get your sex positions right

The easiest way to spice up your sex life for you and your man is to start by learning some new sex positions. Giving this advice can sometimes be frustrating because when I say it, I often get asked, "What's the most exotic position that I can learn?" The truth? There are many.


But, just because position looks exotic or you need to be very flexible to perform it, it doesn't actually mean that it's more pleasurable. It can certainly be fun to try it out once or twice. You'll actually discover that there are lots of positions that are far more fun, pleasurable, and better at spicing up your sex life that are very simple to perform, whether it's the octopus position or the mastery position.

Another thing that you'll quickly discover is that most positions are often slight variations on positions that you already know and love.

For instance, the Coital Alignment Technique is just a slight variation of the regular missionary position.

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2. Find out his kinks, fantasies and fetishes

Every single person on this earth has specific things that turn them on immensely, that may not be so exciting for other people. For some guys it could be getting a passionate blowjob or having their partner talk dirty to them. It's completely natural and nothing to be ashamed about. These are your fetishes. Some may be mainstream, while others may be things only you have dreamed up.

Your man is exactly the same and finding out what his fetishes are and trying them out with him is one of the absolute best ways to spice up your sex life and make it more interesting for both of you. If you like this idea, then you may be excited to immediately find out what his fetishes are.

My advice: slow down.

These are usually very personal things that your man is probably very guarded about. So you are going to have to take a more subtle approach.


Start by asking him if there is anything that he'd like to try out in the bedroom. This is a nice, relaxed way to start exploring what he really gets turned on by. Then once he can see that you are comfortable exploring what he likes, he will start to really open up to you and talk to you about what really gets him off.

The main thing that you must do in this situation is be understanding. You don't necessarily need to try everything that he shares with you, but you do need to be understanding and non-judgmental.

Fetish Bonus: As well as learning about your man's fetishes to spice up your sex life, it can be just as fun to share yours with him too and then eventually act on them. It's also a great way to connect with your man as he is sharing his.

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3. Quick oral sex tips

The last topic that I want to cover on how to spice up your sex life is oral sex. Men love getting blowjobs from their partner for a number of reasons. The main one is that it just feels fantastic!

Another strongly powerful reason that your man loves them is that most men like to be the "dominant" and "powerful" partner, while their girlfriend is the more submissive one. And giving your man a blowjob, especially while down on your knees is a very submissive act indeed.

Here are some quick tips to get you in the swing of things:

  • Wetter is better: Men much prefer getting wet sloppy blowjobs, as opposed to dry and rough ones. So the next time you go down on him, don't worry if you are producing a lot of saliva. More than likely, your man will love it.
  • Do more than bob: The classic blowjob technique is to take his penis into your mouth and simply bob your head up and down, with your lips moving over it. This is perfectly fine, but you should know that there is so much more that you can do to his penis. Don't forget that you can lick it, kiss it, tickle it with your tongue, suck it, massage it, and more.
  • Get around town: What I mean when I say, "Get Around Town" is that you should also try to pay attention to the areas around your man's penis. His balls, inner thighs and perineum are all super sensitive. So if you can stimulate these areas while giving him a blowjob at the same time, then your man is going to be a very happy camper indeed!

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Sean Jameson is a sex expert and founder of the Bad Girl's Bible website, where you can learn advanced techniques to improve your sex life. If you enjoyed learning these three tips on spicing up your love life, check out his detailed video tutorial on how to give your man a perfect blowjob.