How To Finger Yourself And Have Ridiculously Good Orgasms

These five tips will help you have the best orgasm of your life.

Last updated on Sep 18, 2021

woman learning female masturbation tips GRSI / Shutterstock

Learning how to finger yourself and masturbate properly can be quite difficult for many women.

This is why I am going to show you exactly what to do to pleasure yourself all the way to orgasm — every time.

Just follow these very simple tips for the climax of your life.

Expert Masturbation Tips For Women On How To Finger Yourself

1. Relax.

The first problem that many women run into when learning how to finger themselves is that they are nervous, awkward, or even freaked out about the idea of fingering themselves. This is perfectly natural. But it's not going to help you have a good time.


In fact, many women get frustrated because they are putting pressure on themselves to reach orgasm instead of enjoying themselves. The funny thing about this is that it often causes you to have serious trouble reaching orgasm! So the first thing you need to focus on is relaxing and getting comfortable.

Getting relaxed is often a very personal thing. For some people, getting relaxed means going for a jog or going to the gym before getting down to it. For others, they need to read a book, perhaps some erotica. So try to discover what relaxes you the most.

The next part of relaxing is making sure you are somewhere that you feel comfortable. This could be your bedroom, but many women find that they are even more comfortable in the shower or bath. Then once you are sufficiently comfortable, it's time to get down to it.


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2. Tease yourself.

Once you are comfortable and relaxed, it's time to start fingering yourself. The best way to make sure you reach orgasm every time is to start by teasing yourself. Think about it as fingering foreplay.

Start by gently stroking and massaging the most sensitive, erogenous areas of your body. These areas could be your neck, breasts, inner thighs, and all around your vagina. Now, you may be eager to immediately get to business, but don't give in yet. Instead, enjoy the feeling and notice the tension and desire slowly building up in your body. This tension and build-up are exactly what's going to make your orgasm much more enjoyable for you.

3. Zone in on your pleasure.

Now that you are sufficiently aroused, it's time to actually learn how to finger yourself. Start by lowering your hand downwards. You're not going to enter yourself just yet. Instead, you'll be very gently massaging your clitoris with your fingers.


Circular motion: Some find that they enjoy a gentle circular motion over their clitoris the most, while others enjoy brushing all their fingers over and back on it. The key is doing a little experimentation to discover what you enjoy the most and focus on that. In other words, zone in on what feels most pleasurable.

On the side: Gently running your fingers up and down the sides of your vagina, over the inner and outer labia, is also incredibly pleasurable, especially if you are using some lube. For some women, they can orgasm from this alone, but not everyone can.

Time to enter: The next technique to use when learning how to finger yourself is entering your vagina with your finger. Before you do this, make sure your finger is sufficiently lubricated otherwise you risk hurting yourself. Do a little experimentation by pressing and massaging the sides of your vagina as well as bringing your finger in and out of your vagina.

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4. Pay attention to the tension building.

As you use each of the techniques I have described to finger yourself, you will start to notice that the pleasure builds and builds. This "building feeling" feels different to everyone. Some women report that they feel as if tension is building up inside them, while others report that feel they feel liking peeing (seriously).

The point I'm trying to make is that this feeling is good and it's a sign that your body is enjoying it. So keep going and embrace it as you're fingering yourself. Eventually, you'll reach a point where the pressure of this feeling will reach a peak and you will orgasm. The specific techniques that you use to actually reach orgasm don't matter. What matters is that you enjoy yourself, even if you don't actually orgasm.

5. Keep trying new things.

Now that you know how to finger yourself to orgasm, it's time to start learning more great ways to keep your sex life satisfying. Experiment to find what you do and don't like.

Dive into your sex life with the excitement of a child playing with legos. Try everything you're comfortable with trying!


Bring toys into the bedroom, play with food, dip your toes into BDSM, to name a few ideas.

There are so many things you can try with sex that you'll never get bored and you'll eventually find what fits for you!

RELATED: 5 Unbelievable Health Benefits Of Masturbation You Need To Know

Sean Jameson is a sex coach and relationship educator. Learn his very best sex tips on the Bad Girl's Bible website.