11 Signs He's An Emotionally Unavailable Man That Can't — And Won't — Commit

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Signs Of Emotionally Unavailable Men With Commitment Issues In Relationships
Love, Heartbreak

Think it’s going well and then you've been ghosted? What's up with that, Casper? I’ll tell you — he’s not emotionally available!

Are you having lots of hot sex but when it comes to meeting your friends, he’s conveniently busy? He’s not available!

This guy may be looking to take a car out for a test drive, but when it comes to buying the car, he doesn’t pull the trigger.

Emotions are complex, but when it comes to the person you love, you want to know that they can be there for you as much as you want to be there for them.

Falling for someone with commitment issues is a surefire way to get your heart broken, so it's important to look for the signs of emotionally unavailable men so you know who to steer clear of.

RELATED: How To Tell If He's Emotionally Unavailable ... Or Just Not Into You

Stop investing your precious time and mental energy into an emotionally unavailable man.

He should be pursuing you, making plans with you, and calling you.

For instance, when a man is very into you, he'll want to hear your sweet voice. If you’re only getting texts or snap chats, that’s lazy when it comes to love. Stop making excuses for his behavior.

If he lacks confidence or is shy, you can always take the reigns by letting him know you’re interested — either directly, or through flirtatious non-verbal behavior, such as eye contact, smiling, and breaking the touch barrier.

If he doesn’t take the bait, sadly, he’s just not that into you.

Here are 11 signs of emotionally unavailable men:

1. He can't talk about his feelings

He does not discuss emotionally intimate topics, such as his core values, fears, vulnerabilities, and dreams.

2. He has one goal, and it isn't love

He will use sex to gain intimacy, instead of using intimacy to gain sex.

3. He uses "me" instead of "we"

His talk for the future only involves his plans, which means he isn't looking at the relationship as a whole or as a long-term commitment.

4. If there's a scheduling conflict, you lose

He does not accommodate your schedule to hang out. If it comes to doing what he wants or hanging out with you, you'll either have to settle for doing things his way or not seeing him.

5. You don't feel important to him

He blows you off or flakes on you — you are not a priority, and he makes it obvious.

RELATED: 5 Early Warning Signs That Your New Man Is Emotionally Unavailable

6. He doesn't do even a little PDA

He does not seem proud to have you on his arm, or show you off in public.

7. He keeps his personal life a mystery

He is not eager to meet your friends and family, or excited to introduce you to his own.

8. He doesn't consider doing nice things for you

He doesn't put in the effort to win your affection — emotionally available men plan thoughtful dates, give you meaningful compliments, and show up with “just because” gifts.

9. He won't take an interest in your interests

He isn't open to trying your favorite hobbies or exploring your interests.

10. He gets uncomfortable when you bring up "the future."

He doesn't comfortably plan and talk about the future with you.

11. It feels like he has one foot out the door already

He doesn't make you feel safe and secure in what you have

Basically, his actions need to match up with his words. He can feed you lines that roll smoothly off of his tongue, but if he isn’t showing you through his behaviors that he’s into you, then he’s probably emotionally unavailable.

Now the hard part — if you’re picking up on red flags that he’s emotionally unavailable, bring up your thoughts and feelings, and if he dodges the conversation, ditch him. Baaah-bye!

Stop playing the "chill girl," waiting around forever in hopes that he realizes you are worth committing to. It happens rarely and is the exception, not the rule.

Too many women cling on to dead-end relationships for dear life only to feel disrespected, unappreciated, and taken advantage of later when he never commits.

Is he really worth your time? To answer that, turn inward and reflect on your self-esteem. Are you being authentic to yourself? Ask yourself if your needs are being met, and whether you are compromising on any of your values.

If you believe you deserve more, and he’s unwilling to talk about it when you (calmly) address it, then it might be time to walk away with your head held high.

RELATED: The Difference Between Emotionally Unavailable Vs. Emotionally Available Men

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Samantha Burns a licensed counselor, dating coach, and the love guru behind Love Successfully. Sign up to receive Samantha’s free worksheet “Reframing My Negative Thoughts About Love.”

This article was originally published at Love Successfully. Reprinted with permission from the author.