Self

3 Great Ways To Get A Guy's Attention IRL (If Online Dating Isn't Your Thing)

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flirting online dating

If you're wondering how to flirt with a guy, there's something really important I want to remind you of. Back when you were a teenager, talking to boys was fun. Remember that? You giggled, laughed, felt shy or were blatant, but it was exciting and fun!

Yes, I know you didn't have years of loneliness, disappointment or heartache back then. But it's time to shake that off!

You are who you think you are. So if you think you're too old — you are. Quit that thinking, will ya? 


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You can just as easily think you are feeling young today and want to enjoy a weekend filled with the joy and anticipation youth offers. That part of you is still there, tucked away and hiding inside. 

You want to have some fun, and you'd like to get started by meeting someone in a physical location... not just through online dating, which hasn't worked out for you. But this is great! You can get back in the swing of connecting in real life and getting a guy's attention in person — and not just looking at an online dating profile picture.

Perhaps you're feeling a little nervous since you haven't flirted like this in a while, but remember to keep your spirits up and your mind open. Remember, you know how to flirt with a guy! After all, you've done it in the past.

OK, now that you're shifting to a better mindset, let's talk about flirting. Regardless of your age, flirting is essential if you're looking for love. Why? Because it's a playful, creative, entertaining way to connect with men. Flirting bridges the gap between you and that good-looking man you see. Maybe he's at Starbucks, the grocery store, or out having drinks with friends. Wherever you are, typically so are men.

Sometimes women fear flirting, thinking it's somehow inappropriate, or just get unused to doing it. Maybe in a straight-laced, business setting flirty isn't good, but in most other situations, give yourself permission to have at it. I'm not encouraging you to do anything suggestive or tawdry. Heavens no. 

What I am asking you to do is get a little bit Scarlett — from the classic movie Gone with the Wind — who famously sat down amidst a circle of young men and said she was up all night wondering who she would most like to have a barbecue with. Each guy hoped she meant him. Beautiful.

And while the attention you get will be great, flirting is also pure fun. Knowing how to flirt with a guy is enlivening, exciting, and a sassy way to express yourself, just like when you were a teenager.

See, here's the thing, when you're dating, you are always sixteen. So if you think, "No way! I'm a mature dater," think again. That could be exactly why you don't have a date this weekend. It's time to lighten up, loosen up, and flirt a little!

And if you aren't sure where to start, here are three flirty icebreakers to get the conversation going — no matter how out of the loop you might feel:

1. Try opening with a compliment.

You can use something simple, like "Nice tie." Come on now, that's easy! If you see a handsome guy sporting a great tie or some other piece of clothing you like — tell him! You can try the advanced version, too, if you dare. "Nice tie; it really brings out the color in your eyes." 

Men love compliments just like you do so, give this a shot. You'll make his day for sure and that will warm him up to you and maybe a little conversation.

Yes, this is bold, but flirty, too. This is how you can stand out from all the other Starbucks groupies sipping their lattes.


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2. Appeal to his sense of chivalry.

"Can I ask you for a favor?" Men still want to be your knight in shining armor, especially when it's easy. Being just five feet tall, I have to rely on my flirting skills often because I can never reach anything at the grocery store.

This is my tried and true strategy. I wait for a man to come by and ask, "Can I ask you for a favor? Will you reach that bottle of Tabasco for me please?" Then a shoot him a little flirty smile.

No man has ever refused. They are happy to help. Sometimes a guy won't have time to talk or won't be interested, but there are times when he will be.

When I was single I used this trick at a bar when I couldn't get a drink. I'd ask a man near me to get the bartender's attention and then we'd start talking! Worked like a charm.

3. Small talk can be great!

"Beautiful day don't you think?" This is so easy, anyone can use this flirty tip, especially with spring on its way. When you're outside in the sunshine and a good-looking man comes near, turn and smile, then say this to him. 

Chances are strong he'll agree, and if he has time and finds you appealing, he might extend the conversation!

If you don't like online dating, you now have three time-tested and well proven flirting tips to break the ice with a man in person. Flirting is the icing on the cake of being friendly (which alone) is not quite enough to capture a man's attention. The icing is your feminine charm, which perks up his masculine nature. It's a little bit coy or bold. It's playful, fun, and lights you up!

Who doesn't want to feel that? 

Allow yourself to feel your inner young person (or current young person) and try these flirty tips. Make a game of it for yourself to see how many men you could meet. You may or may not get dates right away, but you sure will enjoy yourself!


RELATED: Why You Absolutely Must Date More Than One Guy At A Time


Ronnie Ann Ryan is a Dating Coach for women over 40, who has helped successful single gals find love for 15 years. If you’re ready to stop wasting precious time texting the wrong men or turning off the right ones, get her free book, 7 Deadly Sins of Texting.