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These signs show how to know when it is true love.
By Roland Legge
Last updated on Aug 30, 2023
Before I met my wife, I kept asking how I would know I had met my soulmate, and people kept telling me I would know when I met her. I found this hard to believe at the time. Now, I know this is true.
So, you've met someone great and may have even fallen in love, but what soulmate signs should you look for that indicate they're really "the one"?
Ultimately, our inner wisdom helps us know when we've found the right person, but there are some soulmate signs to watch out for to will help you spot "the one."
As you go through this list, check in with your body, heart, and mind. Your inner wisdom will reveal the truth.
Here are 13 rare signs you've met your kindred soul:
1. You can be yourself.
You feel comfortable. You can share whatever is on your mind without worrying about being put down or rejected. It feels safe to share what is on your mind.
You don’t have to hide your sadness, anger, or frustrations when you are having a hard day.
You feel free to express your joy and love for this person. You can talk about your friends without worrying about them being jealous.
You feel free to share your dreams, what frightens you, and all the ups and downs of life.
2. They make you laugh.
Laughter is healing. If they can make you laugh, this is a good sign you're comfortable with each other ... unless the laughter is hiding insecurities.
If you can laugh with each other — rather than against each other — you are on a good path. Laughter should be about joy, celebration, humor, and appreciation.
3. They express love for you in many ways.
Soulmates express their love for each other in a variety of ways. They let you know how much they love you in words and actions. They look deep into your eyes. They enjoy being in your presence, even when neither of you is talking.
They express their love physically, by hugging and kissing. They give you thoughtful gifts. They help you do chores around the house, like cooking or cleaning.
4. They give you their undivided attention.
You will be the center of your soulmate's world when you meet them.
Is your new love interest willing to ignore their cell phones on your dates? Do they listen to what you say? Do you feel like you have their full attention? These are signs of a soulmate.
5. They're honorable.
Does this new person in your life follow through on what they say they are going to do? Do their words connect with their body language? Do they hide what is going on in their lives?
Are they putting on a show to impress you? Do they show their love for you in all aspects of how they relate to you? Can you honestly say you trust them?
6. They respect your values.
You have core values whether they are religious, behavioral, ethical, political, and or economic values. Do you feel respected for what you believe, and can you appreciate them?
Are you both prepared to be changed by each other without any coercion? If you're soulmates, you must both be willing to encourage and challenge each other to grow in your humanity, even if it takes you in different directions.
7. They help you be your best.
To love another person is to want the best for them. If this person is your soulmate, they will encourage you to be all you can be. They will do this even if it makes life challenging for them, such as the need to move to another community or spend some time apart. You will do the same for them.
Often, it won’t be possible for both of you to pursue your passions at the same time due to location or money. However, over time, both of your passions need to be met. You may need to take turns.
8. They find out what you love.
A soulmate pays close attention to the things you like and appreciate, and they will show you they know your preferences by how they treat you and the gifts they give you.
Do they do things for you they might not enjoy themselves, but do it because they love you? Do you do the same for them?
9. They take full responsibility for their behavior.
When your partner talks to you, do they use “I statements” when expressing opinions, concerns, or appreciation (such as, "I feel ..." or "I'm upset because ...") that don't put you down, blame you, or use demeaning language? Can you do the same for them?
Soulmates are willing to admit when they've made a mistake and take responsibility for their actions. They know when it's appropriate to apologize and when it's not — since you shouldn't apologize for things you never did or intended.
10. They honor your need to spend time with friends and family.
Not even the most wonderful person in the world could ever meet all your needs single-handedly. No matter how long you have been in a relationship, you need friends to meet your different needs.
There will be things your partner has no interest in doing while you have friends who would love to do it with you. Your friends can also help you keep a healthy perspective of your intimate relationship.
You need to stay in touch with your family, too. You may even need family time without your partner present. Is your partner willing to find a balance in making time to connect with both families?
A good warning sign is if your lover refuses for you to meet their family without any explanation, or their refusal to meet your family. You might want to see if your lover is hiding something unpleasant about themselves.
11. They are willing to grow and learn about themselves.
You never stay the same. You grow and change as an individual. Problems begin when one person in the relationship is not willing to work on their personal growth as much as the other.
If you have indeed met your soulmate, they will also be willing to be on a journey of continuing personal growth. What's more, your soulmate will be there to support and encourage as you grow more and more into being your true self — and you will do the same for them, too.
You will be both willing to keep getting to know each other and continue to surprise each other for years and years.
12. You have shared interests.
For someone to be your soulmate, they need to have some shared interests and beliefs to hold your relationship together.
However, you are not going to have all the same interests. If you were exactly the same, your relationship would be boring.
13. Your friends and family like them.
If you come from a relatively healthy family and they express concern for the partner you have chosen, it would be wise for you to pay attention. Your family will not always be right, but it is worth your while to take a sober second look.
If your best friend expresses their concern, find out precisely what is bothering them. Then, you need to be honest with yourself to decide if this relationship is worth pursuing and if this person really is your soulmate.
However, if you're not in a healthy place personally, you probably haven't met your soulmate just yet.
Before you can attract a soulmate in the first place, you need to be healthy yourself. Not perfect, but you at least need to be on the path toward self-awareness. When you are unhealthy, you make poor choices in your love life. The person you're dating may have many "red flags," and you will ignore them all.
So if you aren't dating anyone now or realize you haven't found your soulmate (yet!), start dating yourself. Take this time to discover what you love, what brings you happiness, delight, and satisfaction, and fulfills your dreams. Go into this adventure with a quiet mind, an open heart, and being in tune with your body. When you can enjoy your own company, you are ready to start finding your soulmate.
If you pay attention to your inner and outer world, you will know when you have met your soulmate. You will not only have mental responses confirming these thirteen soulmate signs, but you will be able to notice the truth in your heart and the sensations in your body.
Remember, your soulmate will help and encourage you to be your best self — as any kindred spirit would. Your life is precious, so don’t settle for anyone who comes along. Find a person who will bring out the best in you, and you in them.
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Roland Legge is an author, certified spiritual life coach, and teacher of the Enneagram. He helps people connect to their inner selves and find alignment with their highest purpose and values.