Why Men Pull Away When You Start Getting Close (And How To Prevent Either Of You From Getting Hurt)

Photo: unsplash / Paulo Silva
Why Men Pull Away When You Start Getting Close (And How To Prevent Either Of You From Getting Hurt)
Love, Heartbreak

You’re excited to finally find someone you like after a bit of a dating and relationship hiatus.

It’s so wonderful to connect with someone again. You talk, see each other regularly, and are off to a great start. There is definitely a mutual attraction between you. You feel like you might be in love.

But, then, a few weeks in, you feel him closing up and start to wonder why men pull away when things are seemingly going well.

Does this sound familiar?

RELATED: 5 Reasons Why Men Pull Away From Good Relationships

The panic sets in and you have that sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach.

You find yourself wondering when he will call (or if he even will) and wracking your brain to figure out what you’ve done wrong so that you can save this once-promising relationship.

This happens so often.

Why do men pull away from blooming relationships so soon?

Well, early dating is a challenging time. You don’t know each other very well, yet, and you definitely don’t know if he is right for you.

All you have to go on is some attraction, a few hours spent together, perhaps some e-mails, texts, and phone conversations. You’re not exactly strangers anymore, but it’s not an established relationship, yet, either.

The first few weeks after you meet someone new is an opportunity to discover each other and determine whether or not there is potential for a deeper connection.

Early dating is the time to see if you want to take things further, not batten down the hatches and hold on for dear life.

If you feel him pulling away from you, here's what you can do to minimize the hurt and potentially save your relationship.

1. Make sure you’re on the same page relationship-wise within the first date or two

After that, the waters can become a bit muddied with attraction. You can start becoming emotionally attached to someone who may not want any of the things that you want in a relationship.

Do yourself a favor and determine whether or not you have the same relationship goals as this person. The best way to do this is to ask open-ended questions during the first few dates and listen to what he says.

Then, believe him. If he says something that does not align with what you want, don’t sugarcoat or ignore it.

RELATED: The 4 Main Reasons Why He's Pulling Away From You

2. Move slowly

Don’t put too much pressure on this brand new connection. It’s easy to get excited when you meet someone you're attracted to and really like, but try to enjoy just getting to know him.

It’s almost always better to hold off on sex. When in doubt, wait. When not in doubt, wait a bit anyway.

There’s always time for sex once you’re sure that everything else is working. Physical intimacy, heavy conversations, and drama put a lot of pressure on a new relationship with someone you barely know.

You don’t need to have super intimate conversations with someone you’ve just met in the name of honesty or transparency. You can and should take your time.

It’s not playing games — it’s being smart.

3. Be compassionate with yourself

If the relationship does not work out, learn what you can, and move on. Don’t flagellate yourself for everything that happened in the relationship and agonize over everything you did or said.

You are always doing the best you can and you have infinite value despite the opinion of some guy you met a few weeks ago.

It’s not your job to make sure that every man you date falls head over heels in love with you. It won’t matter if you’re not head over heels in love with you!

If you aren’t, do something about that now. Confidence and self-love will serve you much better than trying to make things work out with every man you date.

The reason why men pull away after a few dates with you may not have anything to do with you at all.

In fact, just making sure that you have common relationship goals, taking time to get to know a man, and flat-out adoring yourself will revolutionize your love life.

These are simple, understandable concepts that will greatly increase happiness in your love life.

RELATED: What To Do When The Guy You Like Pulls Away (Or Asks For 'Space')

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Renee Suzanne is a premier coach for smart, successful singles who know better than to leave their love lives to chance. To know more, visit her website.