7 Bad Behaviors You Might Be Doing That Are Ruining Your Chances At Love & Hurting Your Relationship

Photo: by frankie cordoba on Unsplash
7 Bad Behaviors You Might Be Doing That Are Ruining Your Chances At Love & Hurting Your Relationship
Love, Self

Love and relationships require a lot of work and effort, and it's nearly impossible for everyone to be on "good behavior" all the time; conflicts and disagreements will happen, and if not treated properly, these can lead to severe relationship problems down the line.

While love can heal a number of wounds, if you want to know how to have a healthy relationship, it might help to start with pinpointing which behaviors you're committing in your relationship that are leading to unhealthy disputes and driving a wedge between you and your partner.

RELATED: 5 Everyday, Changeable Behaviors That Slowly Burn You Out

Put two individuals together, try to get them to agree on everything. It simply won't happen! You and your partner have your own ideas, wants and beliefs, and typical responses.

Arguments don't have to be destructive to your relationship — but if you're doing certain toxic behaviors, they very well could be.

And while you can't prevent everything bad from happening, you can ensure your relationship is as healthy as possible by removing some of the stumbling blocks that frequently lead young couples astray.

Every couple deals with their own unique issues and problems, but people in healthy and happy relationships generally have better ways of coping and maintaining their issues.

Here are 7 bad behaviors you need to make sure aren't being practiced in your relationship:

1. You're keeping a relationship "scorecard."

Healthy couples have no room for a relationship scorecard. You have to stop counting your good deeds against your partner's mistakes.

Everyone messes up (you should deal with individual mistakes as they arise), but you can't hold people to past mistakes that are supposedly "forgiven." It takes practice but eliminating score-keeping will completely change your relationship for the better.

2. You're constantly partying or drinking.

There's nothing wrong with responsibly enjoying alcohol on an occasional basis, but it shouldn't be the focus of your relationship.

Everyone has different alcohol tolerance levels and a few too many drinks can turn you or your partner into a different person.

If partying is all you do as a couple, big (and potentially violent) fights will happen sooner or later. By doing other things and removing alcohol from the equation, you can both interact with more clarity and foresight.

3. You expect "makeup sex" to fix major fights or problems.

It may feel good at the moment, but makeup sex isn't a good long-term solution for dealing with problems and issues. You're essentially saying that whatever happened isn't a big deal, and it'll be swept under the rug by showing physical affection.

RELATED: 10 Subtly Awful Ways Your Behavior Changes In A Bad Relationship

Yes, physical affection is important. But you need to talk about certain things. Use the time you would have spent making love to instead talk through the problem, make amends and develop a constructive plan for preventing a similar issue in the future.

4. You rely on virtual communication instead of face to face interactions.

Again, there's nothing wrong with texting or emailing, but don't let it become the basis for your communicative relationship. Nothing replaces face-to-face conversations or quality personal time.

So many things can go wrong when you try to interpret the meaning or inflection behind typed messages. Make a pact with your partner to always discuss important issues in person. It will enable you to maintain a more mature and healthy relationship.

Subscribe to our newsletter.

Join now for YourTango's trending articles, top expert advice and personal horoscopes delivered straight to your inbox each morning.

5. You're lying and deceiving.

Lies are perhaps the most toxic thing you can bring to a relationship. Whether it's lies about your past or ongoing issues, the more transparent you are, the better.

Very rarely will a big lie go undetected forever, so it's not worth trying. Plus, honesty feels good and teaches you to display trust in other people.

6. You get jealous over minor things.

Have you ever been around one of those couples that get jealous when the other talks, texts, or hangs out with a member of the opposite sex? Don't be this couple. That sort of jealousy is petty and only shows your insecurity and lack of confidence in your partner.

If you already practice honesty, there shouldn't be a problem. If it becomes excessive, have a face-to-face conversation and sort through the problem.

7. You talk about your ex.

This one's pretty simple. Don't talk about your exes. It's OK to bring them up in the very beginning so that everyone is clear about the past, but that's it. It's unhealthy to reflect on past relationships and typically leads to relationship score-keeping.

Healthy relationships take work, but they're possible to build and maintain.

RELATED: 3 Surprisingly Common Behaviors That Ruin Even The Happiest, Healthiest Relationships

Paula Mooney is the author of several books (most written under pseudonyms to protect the guilty). Her essays and articles have been featured in national print magazines such as Writer's Digest, and in major online publications like Yahoo, Examiner, and more.