I discuss two close friends of mine who are both very different, but who share a similar problem.
By Grace Pamer — Written on Jun 25, 2012
I have two very close girlfriends, call them Sally and Wendy. They are not friends with each other, by the way, and you'll see why.
Wendy is the type of woman that in times past would have been called easy or loose, but nowadays she's just a typical modern woman. In the 10 years or so that I've known her, she has had more boyfriends than I can count. And these relationships, for the most part, follow a familiar pattern. Since she's not a cynical person but a romantic, she falls in love with every one of them.
She loves romance and that first feeling of sparks flying and giggly, almost puppy love, and she gets it with each new man she decides to go out with. She's not promiscuous, and she is faithful to each while the relationship lasts, but it never lasts very long. Because she loves the romance of a new partner, it seems to be a taken for granted fact that it won't last because as soon as the new wears off of the latest conquest, she doesn't feel the same and needs to move on. So Wendy starts a romantic relationship, and at the same time she is doing this she knows deep in her heart that it probably won't last, but she does it anyway, because she has to to keep on living.
Sally, on the other hand, is the most ethical, moral person I have ever met. I have seen her go to extreme lengths to correct a restaurant bill because she was undercharged. In her romantic relationships, she is equally and almost painfully ethical and careful to do the right thing. She too has had many men in the time I've known her, but her approach to these relationships is completely different than Wendy's.
She enters into a new romantic relationship believing and behaving as though it will be the one that lasts a lifetime. She also loves the romance and the giddiness of love, and is committed to making it last from the beginning because she wants to continue feeling that spark. She never gets serious about a man without complete honesty, and she lets him know that she is in this for the long haul. Then something happens, and the romance disappears from the relationship like helium from a balloon. She will brush off the dust, and swear that next time it will be different.
The interesting thing about these two women is that outwardly their lives seem very similar - they each will date a man, have a steady relationship for a few months, sometimes more, then it's over and they move on to another partner in romance for another round of happiness. Sally thinks that Wendy is unethical, immoral, and not deserving of respect or even friendship. She sees her as being dishonest and deceptive in her dealings with men because she starts off knowing that it won't last.
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