Don't get caught up in all of it. That's not your boyfriend or girlfriend.
By Mike Hatcher — Written on Jan 29, 2015
Ever wondered how or what you need to do in order to convince someone to be your friend with benefits? This type of relationship seems to be one of the best kinds you can have in your early 20s, but it can continue until your early 30s if you are not yet prepared for a serious relationship. In a FWB relationship, there are special rules you need to follow since failing to do so may get you feeling attached of your partner and we all know that this ends up quite bad every single time. Therefore, below we will take a closer look at some of the things you need to keep in mind if you want to know how to have friends with benefits without getting attached.
Confirm That You Both Have The Same Expectations About The Relationship
One of the most vital aspects of a FWB relationship is that the two of you must absolutely be on the same page. This means each of you needs to completely understand what is required of each person and the purpose of your relationship. There are no "Would you like to meet my parents?" questions asked in this kind of relationship and no, you won't run errands together ever, so don't even think for a second about doing these things. This is not to be confused with an open relationship, which involves commitment but allowed to see other people.
You're having a physical relationship with a girl or a guy that you like because he\she looks good, has a nice bum and/or maybe a D cup. So before you think about enjoying more than a great sexual life with your FWB, you may want to slap yourself out of that dream, since anything more than penetration is dangerous for both of you.
Understand The Boundaries
No one can tell you how your FWB relationship is going to be, but you will definitely have certain expectations from each other. That is why it's very important that you two talk this over and set boundaries you can agree on. This way, there is little room for misunderstanding which can lead to fights and eventually a cancelation of your mutual agreement of having sex with each other from time to time. Yep, it may sound formal, but that is how you should treat these kinds of situations. Where there are feelings involved, there is always trouble!
Another thing you need to agree on is how often you want to see each other and when. For instance, maybe you have time to see your partner in the weekend, but only in the morning and if so, be sure to tell him that. Also, should the hanging out part happen before or after sex? Is it OK to spend the night at each other's place? When you agree on these simple rules, you're clearing up any misunderstanding or confusion that may otherwise give you two a lot of headaches. Some couples involved in an FWB relationship may graduate to an open relationship which has it's own benefits.
Objectify Each Other Sexually
At any given time you need to be prepared to leave your friend with benefits and this should be relatively easy if there are no feelings involved. Don't have expectations when it comes to your partner and believe only in the rules the two of you have agreed on when starting this relationship. While some people believe it's okay to have sex a few times a week, others say that once a week is enough, but to be honest, this is just going to depend on you guys. You are the ones in control of your relationship and your emotions, so if you can have sex every day without getting attached, then go for it.
Don't Prioritize Your FWB Partner
You are not in an open marriage or relationship so don't prioritize. One of the biggest mistakes that many "friends with benefits" relationships seem to be plagued by is prioritization of one another. Under no circumstances should you prioritize your partner, because the moment you do so, you will slowly start getting attached which is very dangerous for your mental well-being. And believe me, you don't want to stay awake at night asking yourself questions such as "Why?" "When?" "How?" and "Why can't it be the way it was?"
Therefore, if you notice yourself prioritizing your partner and cancelling the plans you've made to hang out with your friends, then this should be a very big red flag that you're moving towards something more serious. At this point, especially if you cannot control how you feel, it's best to end the relationship and find another friend with benefits.
Learn more about a FWB relationship, an open relationship, or an open marriage.
