6 Qualities Of A Good Husband That Make Him 'Marriage Material'

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6 Qualities Of A Good Husband That Make Him 'Marriage Material'

Many women come to my couples counseling practice asking for advice about their relationships, including questions about whether their partner has the qualities and characteristics needed to become a "successful husband."

This is clearly not a scientific question, as each individual has different taste, values, priorities and preferences. However, there are general qualities of a good husband that make a man more appealing, desirable, and more successful life partner.

Here are seven qualities you should look for in a man before ever deciding to marry him. If he has them, he's perfect marriage material.

RELATED: 10 Ways To Know For Sure You're In Love With A Good Man

1. He shares important core values with you.

Values are those "rules of life" that inherently guide the way you live your life. They're deeply rooted in personal beliefs that are fundamental to who you are. They're also very difficult to change.

Connecting on a spiritual, emotional and value level with a man you wish to marry is a key indicator for long-term marital success. When you and your partner know that you are on the "same page," you'll feel more confident that he's truly the man you want to marry.

When you both think ahead into the marriage and know you can respect each other’s perspective on important marital issues (such as family dynamics, child rearing, finance, in-laws, roles and responsibilities), you know you're making the right choice.

2. He's emotionally mature.

A responsible, emotionally intelligent man who can control his impulses shows true maturity. As such, he likely has the capacity to deal with the change, disappointment, stress, and conflict that life (and marriage) invariably bring. 

A well-grounded man with a sense of balance can confront life and face ups (and especially downs) in a constructive way while remaining a resilient, supportive and engaging partner. 

Look for a man who can respond to a challenging issue responsibly, rather than react to it impulsively.

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3. He appreciates you and accepts your shortcomings.

The old saying "Happy wife, happy life!" is true and valid (and, it goes both ways, too — "happy spouse" equals "happy house").

Appreciation goes a long way when creating a happy relationship. In fact, feeling appreciated is a primary quality of happy life.

If you don’t feel appreciated or loved by your man, you're paddling into dangerous waters. But when he openly demonstrates his respect and appreciation for you (with his words and actions), you know you'll live a happy life with your man.  

That said, while he appreciate your qualities (good cook, caring, social, engaged, supportive), he should also accept your shortcoming (little messy, not so organized, talking a bit too much, not being on time).

He must deeply recognize and accept that no one is perfect (including him). His overall view of you should be positive.

4. He manages conflict well.

Arguments, disagreements, and conflict are not only unavoidable parts of any relationship, but also are necessary ingredients to forming a strong, lasting intimacy.

Many couples communicate in a destructive way that leads to frustration, anger, and disconnection. Many other couples avoid having meaningful discussions at all to avoid fighting. But, healthy communication is the basis of any successful relationship. 

One of the most important factors that helps couples thrive is their ability to deal with different conflicts, manage difficult emotions (such disappointment, frustration and anger), de-escalate arguments, and disagree with respect.

A man who shares his thoughts and feelings with you without reservation; a man who talks things out with you; a man who discuss difficult subjects with you and can disagree yet still come to some kind a resolution is a man who has healthy communication skills and will make a great husband.

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5. He's trustworthy.

Trust is another key foundation of an intimate relationship. Yet, it's important to understand that being trustworthy is a proactive role that requires a conscious effort, affirmed continuously by decision and actions.  

When your man does what he is says; when your partner does not lie; when your spouse acts assertively and, most importantly, he's consistent with these positive qualities, then you know that your man is dependable and he will become a husband you can trust.

6. He makes your relationship a priority.

A frequent complaint I hear from women in my counseling practice is, "I don’t think he cares about me or the relationship," or, "He stays at work long hours or he prefers to spend time with his friends rather than with me." 

Often, couples find themselves dealing with the daily routine and necessities of life only to find they're living parallel lives separated by a wide rift. They feel totally disconnected from each other.

To avoid this, couples must create positive shared experiences in order to still face the mundane, create nice memories and have something to look forward to.

Any man you someday marry should realize that relationships requires a commitment and constant effort/investment.

It's important for a man not to neglect his woman. He can show interest in her life, plan a date nights, and create common interests and shared activities. When your man acts in that manner, you know you have the right partner.

RELATED: 4 Questions To Ask Yourself To Determine If Your Partner Is Marriage Material

Moshe Ratson is a Licensed Marriage Family Therapist (LMFT) and infidelity expert in Midtown Manhattan in NYC. He assists couples overcome the traumatic experience of an affair, rebuild their trust, and emerge stronger and happier.

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