10 Keys To Facing Down Life's Unexpected Challenges
How do you overcome the challenges life throws at you?
Drazen Zigic / shutterstock Perhaps, one of the upsides perhaps of the pandemic has been discovering resilience in the face of adversity.
The constant barrage of curveballs that have been thrown at everyone, individually and collectively, has been immense.
It has been in the face of these major life challenges and transitions that you've had to dig a little deeper into our internal well of resourcefulness and find your way through the dark forest of the unknown.
Everyone has had their own journey on the road less traveled and it feels like we're finally coming out of those dark woods and back into the sunshine again. Phew!
All of these trials can wreak havoc on your sense of self-worth and self-esteem if you’re not careful.
The turmoil, mayhem, and chaos (both externally and internally) can leave you feeling off-balance and wobbly, which opens the door to letting fear, self-doubt, and anxiety come rushing in.
Here are 10 keys to maintaining your self-worth and resilience in the face of adversity.
1. Get to know yourself.
Who are you? What do you love and appreciate most about yourself? What parts of yourself can you love a little more?
Here are some questions to prompt your thinking:
"I’m really happy when…"
"Something that my friends/colleagues like about me is…"
"I’m proud of…"
"Something that makes me unique is…"
"Things I am good at are…"
"What I like about my appearance is…"
"I’ve helped others by…"
"Challenges I have overcome are…"
2. Forgive yourself.
What can you forgive yourself for?
One of my favorite ways to do this is by using the Hawaiian prayer, "Ho’oponopono." It’s an ancient Hawaiian practice for forgiveness and reconciliation.
It's very simple, yet powerful: "I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you."
Repeat this to yourself for as long as you’d like each day. It is a potent mantra that can help foster healing at a deeper subconscious and cellular level.
3. Take responsibility for yourself, your actions, and your reactions.
Acknowledge that you have personal power and you are always at choice to change or influence the events and circumstances of your life.
While you might not be able to change the way someone else feels about you or treats you, you are at choice about how you choose to respond to their behavior (versus react from a place of fear or old triggers) to the situation.
4. Be mindful of your self-talk.
What are you telling yourself on any given day? Do you speak kindly to yourself? Or do you spend more of your waking hours berating yourself with negative emotions and thoughts, judgments, or criticism?
Try this: For one 24-hour period, just notice the conversations you’re having with yourself. Are you spending more time entertaining a positive experience emotionally or engaging in negative self-talk? Your mind is a powerful place!
It takes in data and believes everything you tell yourself, so what do you want to be telling yourself on the regular to boost your sense of self-worth and self-love? If you're not happy with your self-talk, then change it.
5. Curb your media consumption.
If you’re spending a lot of time on your devices each day consuming social media, news, TV, etc. and you find yourself feeling down and depressed, then put yourself on a media diet.
Practice significantly reducing your media consumption for a week and notice how you’re feeling.
By nature, we are empathic human beings and we pick up on the feelings and emotions of what we see all around us. (Who’s with me on crying over T.V. commercials sometimes?)
It’s easy to get caught up in the negative swirl that media provides because it "sells." But all that negative spin impacts your energy and can quickly bring you down into the dumps.
Find friendly, positive and uplifting media to consume instead (if you must) or better yet, get outside for a walk in nature and let the wind and sunshine on your face help boost your mood as you reflect on all the things you’re grateful for in each day.
6. Stop comparing yourself to others.
Social media is a breeding ground for negative self-comparison to everyone else’s seemingly perfect lives.
No matter how pretty and perfect another person’s life may seem, they too have their challenges, pain, and imperfections. They all face adversity just like you.
Know that you are perfectly imperfect just as you are and stop comparing yourself to others.
7. Eat healthy, exercise, and get enough sleep.
It’s not cliché if it’s true. Human bodies need plenty of nutritious food, water, exercise, sleep, and sunlight to run optimally.
What is your body asking you for? More sleep? Some extra fruits and veggies? Need to go for a walk?
Listen to the whispers of your heart, mind, and spirit to take care of the amazing body that you have. It’s really a work of art if you think about it!
8. Do what you love.
What makes you happy? What do you enjoy most about your work or hobbies? Whatever it is that lights you up and fills your cup, try to do more of that in each day, and each week.
These activities align with your values and nurture your soul.
And, as the saying goes: "Choose a job you love, and you’ll never have to work a day in your life."
9. Find your tribe.
Are you spending too much time with toxic, negative, or unhappy people? How is that impacting your sense of self-worth and self-esteem?
The energy of the people you surround yourself with has a big impact on your own energy, which in turn impacts your mood and sense of self.
If you’re surrounded by a bunch of Negative Nellies and Hateful Harold’s then it might be time to upgrade your company and find yourself a new tribe.
Spend time with the people who treat you with loving kindness, respect, and care. People who lift your spirits instead of bringing them down.
10. Go with the flow.
When we face adversity and unexpected challenges, it’s human nature to want to resist any sudden changes. I’ve learned over many years and from various teachers, the more you can learn to not push against and resist the change, the less painful it will be.
Does that mean you have to like it? No.
But by releasing your defiance to change, you can find the path of least resistance to get through it more quickly.
Try out these top 10 tips. You’ll be amazed at your own resilience in the face of adversity. Enabling you to maintain and grow your sense of self-worth while overcoming major life challenges and transitions.
Michele Molitor, C-Hyp is a certified coach and hypnotherapist and co-author of “Breakthrough Healing.” For 20 years, she has worked with talented, professional women, helping them overcome imposter syndrome and reclaim their confidence to create a thriving career and life.