Expert Blog Compelling advice, stories, and thought-provoking perspectives straight from YourTango's lineup of Experts to you

3 (Easy-ish) Steps To Get From The Friendzone To The Bedzone

Photo: weheartit
Dating Advice for Men: How To Get Out Of The Friend Zone
Love

Fleeing the friend zone might be easier than you think.

When it comes to a girl, friendship often leads to the friend zone: a zone known for laughs, good times, and unconditional support. Yes, the friend zone is a great place to be... until you want to actually date the girl you're friends with. Then, being in the friend zone is akin to rush-hour traffic: the only place it leads is to Frustration City: population you. 

Being placed in the friend zone works in two ways. The instant you meet a girl, friendship is usually immediate or an after-thought. In other words, you either meet each other and become friends — you hang out, you talk on the phone, but you never do anything that blurs the relationship lines — or you begin dating first, before receiving a demotion that takes you straight to Platonic Town (not at all a funky place).

If girl friendship is all you’re looking for, this is fine. Regardless of what When Harry Met Sally... led us to believe, men and women can actually be friends — and quite good ones. But this might not be what you are truly after. You may not only like this girl, but you might "like like" her as well. If you find yourself in this situation, you must learn how to stay on her romantic radar. 

So, how do you do this? Well, the bad news is it takes some guts, but the good news is that it's rather simple. Just remember the keys to girl friendship, and execute these three steps if you want to get out of the friend zone.

1. Don't beat around the bush.

One of the most important things to understand about girl friendship is that girls highly value their friends and this makes them wary of doing anything to risk that cherished relationship. If you subtly hint that you want something more, a girl isn’t likely to do anything about it. She fears she may be misreading your signals, ultimately leading her to make a fool of herself if she jumps to conclusions.

So, you shouldn't be subtle; instead, tell her how you really feel. If you beat around the bush too much, you will never beat around hers.

2. Don't make yourself too available.

One of the most common mistakes guys make with girl friendship is availability. When they like the girl more than just a friend, they make themselves appear at their beck and call. They become a yes-man, ultimately waiting for their girl to say "jump" so that they can ask "how high?"

What they don't realize is that this extreme availability makes them viewed as more of a sidekick and less of a lover. So, if you're trying to move away from friend, don’t be overly accessible. Instead, play a little hard to get. That’ll make her want you more.

3. Don't be too goofy.

In the world of girl friendship, playing the goofy card can have confusing consequences. Women love goofy guys — they make them laugh, they make them comfortable, and they keep them guessing. They love them, but often as friends.

This isn’t to say that guys should never be goofy — humor is a trait many women look for in a romantic relationship — but too much goofiness or self-deprecation can put you in the friend zone forever. So, while you’re being funny, be sure to be sexy, too. Sexy goes home with the girl; Goofy goes home all alone.

The friend zone is a zone so many guys dread, but these tips will help you navigate the difficult waters of girl friendship and up the odds of you finally moving from like to love.

.......

To learn more about getting out of the friend zone once and for all, click here.

 

Author
Expert