Photo: unsplash / Natalia Barros
How to know if he's the one.
By Lianne Avila — Written on Jan 08, 2020
I hear this question all the time from people who are dating or in a relationship with someone: "Is he the one for me?"
In a time where there are more single people than there have ever been and more betrayal than ever. Being single while looking for love becomes a burden as we often forget what the signs of a healthy relationship even look like!
Even with the abundance of dating advice available, people still have a hard time trusting that they will pick the right partner for themselves.
But, if you're ready for that forever relationship, the first step is to figure out how to know if you're in love with 'The One'. Here's what to look for:
1. You're not afraid of commitment
You aren't afraid to commit and to put yourself in a situation with someone who also doesn't fear it.
If you are afraid of commitment, it's best to work that out before starting a relationship.
2. You trust your partner
If you trust your partner, you don't feel the need to go through his e-mail, phone, Facebook, or journal.
But, if you do, you strongly indicate that you don't trust him and you're also violating their trust in you.
3. You don't think you're superior
If you feel like your partner is inferior in any way you know that matters to you in a mate — morally, intellectually, financially, socially, or professionally — then you're never going to respect your partner the way you should (and would expect to be respected back).
4. You don't take part in any substance abuse or questionable behavior
Anyone abusing a substance or behavior is cheating on the relationship with a drug of choice.
You deserve better and so much more.
5. You don't depend on him for things no one can/should supply
However, if you're looking for your partner to resolve your emotional issues, make your more responsible or successful, financially support you, improve your social standing, expand your group of friends, provide you with the family you never had, then it's possible you shouldn't be in a relationship.
Or, at least not yet.
6. You put it all on the line
Relationships are risky. So if you're not risking a potential heartbreak, you're not doing it right.
7. You don't swerve from serious topics
All the things you're not supposed to talk about on a first date — religion, money, politics, and children — are the things you should discuss with someone you are serious about.
8. You look past your skepticism when it comes to love
Even if you're sometimes a cynic and you fear the cliche, you still do deeply and unapologetically romantic things for your partner.
You send flowers, request love songs, write notes, and have the bracelet engraved. You call your partner and tell them that specific thing they did this morning that you loved and made you fall even more in love.
9. You humble yourselves
You know you can't hide your flaws for long, so don't try. You know that you're going to mess up and that you will need to apologize and forgive, endless times. You recognize that you signed up for all of this.
We all want to be in a relationship. This is part of being a human being.
But, for some, you've been hurt in the past and are scared of making another mistake.
Are you ready to love but still a little afraid of what may happen?
Remember, many relationships go through highs and lows. It's learning how to get through the difficult times that will strengthen your relationship.
More for You:
Lianne Avila is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist. She has helped many couples. For more help please visit Lessons for Love.
This article was originally published at Lessons for Love. Reprinted with permission from the author.