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He's definitely a keeper.
By Lianne Avila — Written on Apr 27, 2018
He loves me, he loves me not.
This is one of the most important decisions that you will ever make in your life.
How will you know if he’s the one? It’s not as easy as picking petals off a flower like you did when you were a child.
It’s actually a good thing that you are questioning the relationship. How do your friends and family feel about him? Would you introduce him them? I’m sure you know where I’m going with this. But, there is still much more to this.
Is this the guy you want to grow old with?
This is not about how much money he makes or where he went to college. What does your gut tell you? This isn't about those nice-to-have qualities. This is about the qualities that he MUST have.
So, if you're asking yourself, "does he love me?", here are 6 signs he's the one for you:
1. You know you are his priority.
If you ask him to go to an event that is important to you. He will, even if it means he has to take time off from work to go. If he travels for work, he checks in with you as soon as he lands and continues to text or call you. He lets you know how the trip is going. He talks about the details of his day.
You also know the important things that are happening at work for him. And he will tell his mom he needs to call her back when the two of you are in the middle of an important conversation.
2. He doesn't try to change you.
There is nothing worse than feeling like your partner is trying to change you. He knows you love cats and that's alright. He knows this because you grew up with cats and they mean a lot to you. So, he will make sure there is always a cat in your life.
He knows you inside and out and he accepts you inside and out. This is a great feeling. This lets you know that he has your back. This is really what you want in a relationship.
3. You have the same spiritual beliefs.
Now, I know this is a tricky one these days. We have all seen the Bible being used to manipulate and control. This is not what it is meant for.
Let’s take a look at what some of the core teachings are of the Bible — forgiveness, humility, honesty, openness, respect, and sacrificial giving. These are beliefs you need in a relationship when you are in it for the long haul.
It’s true when they say that couples who pray together, stay together.
4. He’s seen you at your worst and hasn't left.
He stuck with you when you got fired from your job, and your roommate suddenly moved out. You really had a break down at that time. But, that didn't scare him away. He was there for you. He listened to you. You could cry in front of him and not worry about being judged.
Now, you’ve found a good job and have a great roommate. What a good feeling.
5. His actions speak louder than his words.
It’s true, words need to be backed by action. If they aren't, then it’s not sincere. When he apologizes, he doesn't do the same thing again. You know he loves you because he says it. But, you also know it because he shows it. He remembers your anniversary. Not just when you officially started dating, but when you first met at your friend's party.
He’s willing to accept your brother’s quirks because he knows this means he gets to be with you. He’s willing to help you out with your car insurance payment and not throw it in your face.
He’s doesn't play Even Steven. He’s not just making one deposit in the bank, he is making many deposits over and over. And, he doesn't need to be prompted over and over.
6. He smiles when you are around.
You know by his body language and his tone, without a doubt, that he is into you. This is an important one. You want your partner to be excited when he see’s you at the end of the day. You want to be his favorite part of the day. Without him saying a word, you know. What an amazing feeling it is when you know your partner loves you.
This will definitely help get you through the difficult times, like when the plumbing suddenly breaks down and you are left with a huge bill.
You are looking for a best friend in your relationship. This is not a time to settle. You know what’s best for you. Follow your instincts on this one. You should be able to ask him anything and get an honest answer.
Make sure you make a decision that is good for you.
Lianne Avila is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist in San Mateo, CA. I have helped many women make one of the most important decisions of their life, and feel good about it. For more information, please visit Lessons for Love.
This article was originally published at LessonsforLove.com. Reprinted with permission from the author.