15 Signs You're Doing Great In Life (Even If You Don't Feel Like It)
You're doing better than you think you are. That's a promise.
Dean Drobot / Shutterstock Everyone's heard this self-help platitude: We need to love ourselves before we can love anyone else.
This may be true, but we learn self-love by being loved, especially in the places where we feel most unsure and most vulnerable. When you love yourself, you are better able to receive love.
It's easy to pick the parts you don't like about yourself. I hear it all the time in my practice. If I were to ask my clients three things they hate about themselves, the question would be easy to answer.
But when I ask them to tell me three things they love about themselves, they often sit there in silence. I tell them, "Three is a small number," and that there are many more great things about themselves.
Why do people in our society struggle so much with loving themselves? We are human, we are not perfect, and we all make mistakes. So, it's time to stop hating yourself and realize that you're already doing incredibly well in life, even if you don't believe it to be true.
Here are 15 signs you're doing well in life.
1. You choose yourself.
Even if it upsets others, this means setting better boundaries with friends or even your boss. This helps you sleep better and feel better about yourself.
It's easy to put ourselves last. Many things get in the way, like work or family. Start to put yourself first on the list. It really is true that we can't take care of anyone else unless we take care of ourselves.
2. You give yourself a permission slip to mess up.
Allow yourself to make mistakes. No one is perfect. We're human and we all make mistakes.
This is like giving yourself a pass, just like you would to a friend or family member. It's easy to give others a permission slip, but not ourselves. Stop putting the expectation of being perfect on yourself.
3. You allow yourself to dream.
Remember when you were a child and all the dreams you had back then? What happened to them? Don't focus on whether or not they come true, just allow them to happen. This will do wonders for your emotional state.
4. You've ended all your toxic relationships.
Don't stay with anyone that makes you feel bad or hurts you. This is harmful to your health. There are actually a lot of really good people out there who can't wait to meet you.
5. You don't beat yourself up with negative self-talk.
This is something we all have done and it's a waste of time. We tell ourselves things that aren't true. They could be things that you've heard growing up or in a prior relationship.
Replace each negative thought with a positive thought. It can be as simple as, "Today will be a fresh start!"
6. You take time to calm your mind everyday.
Another one of those simple things that many people think they don't have time for. Five minutes of deep breathing or meditation can do wonders for the brain and the body. You are totally worth at least five minutes.
7. You let go of the past.
Your parents aren't perfect either, so stop blaming them for current issues. This is a great time to start practicing gratitude. What do you appreciate about yourself and your parents? Write a list and keep it close by. This will help when you are feeling down.
8. You allow yourself to be human.
Nobody is happy all the time, and a real friend doesn't expect you to be happy all the time. We feel both good and bad emotions, and that is alright. Allow yourself to be human.
9. You enjoy having fun.
Do the things that really light your fire. Having fun is good for your health. Make it a priority. Make sure to plan time to have fun with the people who treat you right and that you most enjoy being with.
10. You're always learning.
You're doing well in life if you have a constant thirst for knowledge and personal growth. Seek out new experiences and information while you learn to love all the parts of yourself. That could be by reading books, having stimulating conversations, or expanding your horizons.
11. You have clean water, food, clothes, and a roof over your head.
Having access to basic necessities is a fundamental indicator that your life is going well. Having clean water to drink, nutritious food to eat, clothes to wear, and a safe roof over your head means you have security and stability.
12. You continue to dream.
You're thriving in life if you still have the ability to dream and imagine a future filled with possibilities, no matter your age. You remain optimistic, aspire to new goals, and feel motivated to move forward.
13. You have strong friendships.
Having strong, meaningful connections with others means you are surrounded by deep and supportive friendships. You're doing great in life when you have nurtured and maintained relationships based on trust, respect, and mutual support.
14. You allow yourself to forgive.
Part of your personal growth journey is learning to forgive yourself, and it shows immense emotional maturity. When you let go of resentment or past hurts, you're freeing yourself from negativity. If you have the capacity to fully forgive, you demonstrate a willingness to learn from the past.
15. You never stop believing in yourself.
Don't give up on you. Don't let others opinions of you bring you down. Remember, it's only their opinion and that can always change. Start everyday with a positive affirmation and focus on it during the day. Especially when that critical voice pops inside your head.
If you're doing even one of these already, you're on the right track. If you aren't, that's alright. It's never too late to start.
Lianne Avila is a licensed marriage and family therapist with a practice in San Mateo, CA, and is the founder of Lessons for Love. Her work has been featured in Psych Central, BRIDES, and Prevention.